Dreaded school report show offs…

[Newbubs]

Anyone else hate this time of year where everyone boasts about their childs amazing school report?
ive never really had a nice report for both my dc,
ds had mild asd & possible adhd and dd is just generally not nice - eithet spoilt or anxiety which makes her behave horrible at times.
i just feel like the teachers never seem to like my kids,

Rewarding a child for doing well academically isn't about rewarding perfection, it's about rewarding hard work. Or at least, that's how I see it.

DH and I had to stop for a moment when we realised DS was getting lots of rewards because he has to work so hard to achieve average results but DD can do almost nothing and achieve a lot (academically). So we need to ensure we're finding ways to motivate her too because it isn't our instinct to reward a good result as it's just so "normal" for her.

I must be the minority, but I love seeing people celebrate their children 🤷🏻‍♀️
Seems a bit of a shame negativity can be found in every little thing.

The OP specifically said boast not celebrate. There's quite a difference.

I've never heard any parents comparing school reports.

Don't compare your children with others, it's not healthy.

Difficult when it’s in your face! People who post can do so in other ways. The class WhatsApp isn’t the place is it?

Do you get the SAT results as standard? I haven't had anything about my DDs and am curious about how she did... because she refused any and all homework all year and when asked how her tests went she said 'walked it mummy'

My kids always had "good school reports" - as long as they put the effort in and behaved in class that was good enough for me. They didn't all do so well academically but that wasn't what we were celebrating. We celebrated effort and attitude rather than academic success. Even when one DC struggled hugely the school still found positive things to say so yes, I was proud of the report.

What I found odd was that it was very acceptable to mention sporting success but not academic success. I had a ‘football’ mum come up to me in primary saying she thought it was really upsetting for her daughter to find out from the teacher that my daughter was being entered for level 6 sats.

Though actually my daughter was upset she scored the only goal in the trials and was rejected for the school team. (Run by the husband of the football mum). Quite rightly the success of the football team was always celebrated.

At secondary nobody knew how anyone else was doing. No one shares reports. Until A Level, in smaller classes where it becomes more transparent.

@SkankingWombat
However, I also know that at nearing 9yo he still can't ride a bike or swim, both of which DD learnt to do at 3yo, nor is he great at teamwork and cooperation

My god, that is one of the bitchiest posts I have ever read on MN. You are actually sneering at a child who cannot ride a bike or swim. That’s disgusting.

And how ironic that this is a thread about how boastful parents blight others’ lives and here you are boasting that your child could ride a bike and swim at 3.

Exactly. Who the hell cares so long as they are respectful?! The learning will happen if the child is able and the school any good, if either of those is not in place then the parent will no doubt know and be working on it.

Never had a hard copy of a school report either, they are uploaded to the portal.

My kids are not remotely interested as they know exactly how they’re doing at school, it is a report to the parent after all.

Plus there would never be any remarks containing words like “lacking”. No deficit thinking.

Do spell out how someone is allowed to celebrate 🎉

I’m not sure that your opinion is the only one here. As the above poster said it’s nice that parents celebrate their children’s successes and not everyone finds it offensive or braggish.

Your comments come across as very bitter so I can’t say I respect them.

Personally I haven’t seen any school reports posted but as I explained, ours are uploaded to the parent portal.

Boast = talk with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about one's achievements, possessions, or abilities.

Celebrate = honour or praise publicly.

I think we can all tell the difference.

Primary school data Governor, I got to see all the detail. I also used to do extra reading with many kids over the years.

I take a huge amount of pride in the successes of teens who learnt to read with little home support. All most none of them will go to uni, those early years make a huge difference but they will get trades, solve problems, enjoy life and I'll never tire of hearing the good stuff.

At the other end of the scale the kid that thinks she was yr 6 top, very competitive, anxious tipping into unpleasant, whose parents didn't boast just assumed number one, well the sporty, smiley gentle girl did better in maths and drew in English - I think she'll also have the edge at Alevels.... (Lovely parents)

My Dd was 3/4 in that peer group, it's not come easy, her work ethic will carry her forward.

My kiddies go to a fairly competitive school (I think) and NOBODY mentions anything about reports. It’s always a massive secret, although it’s known who’s doing well in their respective classes.

Reports are something my husband and I have a chit - chat about over a glass of wine once the minors are in bed and I agree that they are a private matter.

Having said that I did have an insufferable mother once send me a private WhatsApp message and asking me to send a pic of our report, but she was the nosy exception.

Isn't this about perception though? One person's definition of bragging could be someone else's celebrating and being proud of their children. Is life now just hiding away from being pleased about how your child has done in case it offends someone else? Find this all quite sad really.

As soon as they get to secondary you never see a parent again, it's brilliant, no bragging, bitchy playground remarks or whispering. It was one of the best days of my life when ds left primary school.

I see what you mean.
For me if it's someone I don't really know too well then you can't tell, but when it's people you know from school and you know their kids, it's pretty easy to know their motivation for posting.

i see what you mean, but you have the parent who might share 'dc got a really good report this year we're very proud' which is a nice celebration/acknowledgement.
Then you have posting photos of the whole report posted all over social media, endless 'look at my dc aren't they amazing' braggy, oversharing about every minor thing and often using it to bring other parents and dc down.

Obviously there's middle ground, but that's the extremes I see. One is fine while the other is insufferable.

I'm my earlier example of a mum reading me their dcs entire report then saying 'isn't it a shame your dc isn't as gifted and popular'.... for me to point out it was a copy and paste of my own DCs report also their dc is definitely not gifted and very much middle of the road average.

Not at all, and interesting that you've quoted that bit but not the rest. I'm not sneering, it's a comparison of strengths and weaknesses. It's pointing out that the social media image is rarely the full truth, and there are likely things the DCs that OP hears publically crowed about can't do that they would be classed as 'behind' with. The whole point is all children will have things they excel in, things they are average at, and things they find incredibly difficult. The mentioned child's parents post his full school report online plus blurb about working at greater depth across all subjects, and the image portrayed generally in their posts is that of a fully-formed genius, whilst conveniently omitting the fact he's well behind average in some other areas. As with much on social media, their fawning only tells half the tale and it's really important to remember that if you are feeling low as a result of others' bragging.

My DD is top 2 in her year for everything…because there are only 2 in her year! In all serious though I don’t mind seeing these things on social media as I only follow people I like and enjoy hearing about the good things going on for them and their children and I like seeing the pride and celebration for whatever it is. People I don’t care about though just randomly reading out report cards to me or trying to compare our kids would be very annoying.

She did tell us because there was a special award granted to the top three and he got it. He is actually in an advanced maths and physics program so even if it didn’t come from the teacher I wouldn’t have any reason not to believe it.

Yes, she told us privately because there was a small award for the top 3 students and he got it (a book and a voucher).

I explained in another replies so I won’t repeat myself😊 I live abroad and the school system is different. I also lived in Spain where such information was given (respecting privacy of course) and my mom is a high school teacher that can confirm that.
I don’t know why that comment made some of you mad. I have no reason to lie. I was trying to help the OP feel better.