Dreaded school report show offs…

[Newbubs]

Anyone else hate this time of year where everyone boasts about their childs amazing school report?
ive never really had a nice report for both my dc,
ds had mild asd & possible adhd and dd is just generally not nice - eithet spoilt or anxiety which makes her behave horrible at times.
i just feel like the teachers never seem to like my kids,

we have 2 rules. Try your best and behave at school. As long as they try their best I don’t care about anything else. They are rewarded for that rather than grades etc. I ignore everyone else!

I often mention DD's report (to close friends. DD's friends parents who are also my friends, or family) because it's so at odds to her personally and behaviour at home. She can be challenging, very silly, impulsive, grumpy and difficult if asked to do something she doesn't want to do. At school she's serious, studious, helpful, kind and compliant. It's not boasting it's out of surprise 😆

Off topic but I don't know if rewarding your child for "doing well" academically is very healthy. It just teaches the child perfectionism; that they have to consistently achieve to win the love of their parents.

We are rewarding our daughter but we are focussing more on the effort and hard work that she put in rather than the output if that makes sense. I mean she's done really well but even if she hadn't as long as she was putting in effort we are rewarding that. If she was arsing around would be another story.

Absolutely this.. the "high achievers" end up embarrassing their parents like every other child. The teenage years are great social levellers.

I understand the hurt when every other child seems to get really good reports and your child doesn't - last year my dds teacher really didn't seem to like her very much, she gave a very harsh report with almost no positives in, but alot of the people posting on social media won't be talking about the bad points in their child's reports, they will be cherry picking the best bits and for the few children who really are brilliant - they will be doing something to drive their parents crazy sooner or later too.

I was a good student in school, never caused a problem, did my work, 'was a pleasure to teach' because the teacher didn't have to worry about me and so could basically forget I was even there. I was chosen for residential trips to universities and to take part in science competitions and I had my picture taken for the local paper when I got my GCSE results because I did well. I was also socially inept, horrid to my mum, severely depressed and angry, and had such bad anxiety that I would frequently have embarrassing tantrums in public as a teenager (and still struggle with this as an adult). Guess which parts my mum told people. - my point is don't believe everything you hear.

GCSEs rather than reports but DS got a 6 in English, six months earlier he was predicted a 3 or 4. We were so so happy.

My son is in the top best three of his class
😂😂😂
No way did any teacher tell you that.

My son is in the top best three of his class
😂😂😂
No way did any teacher tell you that.

Some schools do! I have a friend whose daughter is the same age as DS(7). She is smarter than him, but still no rocket scientist. But her teacher has several times mentioned to my friend that her daughter is "first" in her class.

My friend is not making it up, and she is mainly wondering what is up with the other children if her DD is "first" - I fully believe the school has told her though.

No one in my friendship group shares anything on SM about reports or parents’ evenings. I find it really bizarre that people do. Just mute the ones who bother you.

I shared when ds2 made house captain but that's all

Ds3 has just had his sat results back and I'm really proud of him, he's worked really hard . He failed them in year 4 so he's come on hugely . I can't imagine anyone other than family being interested though 🤣

You know at parents' evening when the class teacher is talking to you about your dc and they have a big schedule in front of them with everyone's details and marks that they refer to?

Well, it helps no end if you can read upside-down!

I can read upside down. No teacher has ever sat in front of me with everyone else's details on display, even facing the wrong way.
Besides, you could hardly read and rank every detail of 30 odd kids without it being obvious that your attention was elsewhere.

As the child of braggers, this caused me a lot of anxiety growing up. When they were going around telling everyone I was getting straight As to all their friends, when in fact I was really struggling with my A levels and actually working so hard but still only getting Cs and Ds, just made me feel ashamed, not proud and not good for my esteem.

Dd2 reception teacher ended up in tears when describing her. She’s a known weeper though and we assumed she was having a hormonal moment! Dd2 is now 14 and our parents evening are ahem quite different to the old days shall we say!

How unprofessional!

Crying at the sheer awesomeness of your dd?! Was she signed off work with stress soon after?

You must know that's not normal.

Your parents weren't braggers. They were liars. BIG BIG difference.

I'm sorry they were so shit though. That sounds awful.

No our kid is just really awesome.

Just kidding the teacher was a lovely but quite emotional person - having a moment of madness we concluded! No teachers are weeping at our dds awesomeness now i can confirm! The opposite!

I don't find many people talk about their child's brilliant school report, or otherwise, that much.

I might actually tell a few people if DD2 got a good report as actually managing to go to school as been the main goal this year.

I sort of wish I had some of these people on my Facebook! I've never seen a single person post such a thing and in fact, the secrecy around how children are doing goes too far the other way around here in my opinion! It's weird.

DD got brilliant Year 2 SAT results - I openly "bragged" to the two groups who I knew would appreciate it: her grandparents and her godmother!

DS got fairly average SAT results which means, by his standards, HE NAILED IT. I have been desperate to send those details to the world because I'm so proud of him. But instead... you guessed it... grandparents and godmother! I did text a very close friend who also knows him well when I got them because I was crying I was so proud of him. It was embarrassing!

I'm a teacher and I always try to remember that the child about whom I'm writing is somebody's baby (even if they aren't technically babies anymore!). I always try to find something special or unique about them and put it into the report. I try to see each child I teach through a mother's eyes, even if the child in question struggles a lot or has a lot of issues. I always want the parents to be able to pick something out that they can hold onto. I hate the thought of parents feeling really down after reading their child's report. There's always something positive to mention.

I don't brag about my kids' reports. They are generally pretty good but myself and my husband share the delight. I don't think anyone outside the family would really care tbh!

I don't know how you can gauge how well your kid is doing compared to the rest of the class in a report. The teachers only write about yours, and often the comments need code breaking.

I know DS is a chatterbox who loves the limelight. You can say that, you don't have to tie yourselves in knots saying it without saying it.

Having said that, he won a prize for something recently and we were so happily surprised it was all I could do not to pay for a billboard by the station

If you're not always boasting, I think it's nice when you show off about your kids.

I don't really understand this. DS is well aware that we love him to bits no matter how he does.

But he also knows the fancy ice-cream has to be earned.