Dreaded school report show offs…

[Newbubs]

Anyone else hate this time of year where everyone boasts about their childs amazing school report?
ive never really had a nice report for both my dc,
ds had mild asd & possible adhd and dd is just generally not nice - eithet spoilt or anxiety which makes her behave horrible at times.
i just feel like the teachers never seem to like my kids,

As a (secondary) teacher it's rarely my experience that the children who excel in sport struggle academically. For the most part, in my school anyway, those who are talented and take part in competitive sport also do fairly well academically.

on the other hand, there's always a note in the newsletter when a school sports team does well..

TBH, school reports always tell me what I already know, so where the stars are at on the scale is rarely a shock, and I'm realistic about my children's strengths and weaknesses.

Meanwhile, yes, in one subject my eldest's teacher told me he was top of the class, the only one he'd describe as gifted. Meanwhile he's easily bottom in other subjects (and would be in far more if the school wasn't accommodating around terrible handwriting) - what's that saying about comparison being the thief of joy?

They're no different to the people complaining about report day 🤷🏻‍♀️

God forbid we are allowed to be proud of our children's achievements, whatever they might be.

I cringe when I read the social media school report brags (unless they are posting about something specific or an area their child really struggled with previously) . It's always the same people year on year too so it's not even vaguely interesting now

That's a very sweeping generalisation and most likely untrue. Where is your evidence for this? In my opinion, most (not all) intelligent parents have intelligent children. It's called genetics.

This is really interesting.

When I was at school it was absolutely the case that you were either 'sporty' or 'smart', with very few all rounders who were bascially treated like unicorns!

But I've noticed with my DC that this generally isn't the case anymore. Not sure how I feel about it TBH.

Agree with the teen thing. My super competitive friends dd was the first to get drunk and be paralytic which gave me a small amount of karma.

Evil laugh 😆

LOL...yes. The relief when you hear that someone else's kid got 4 million C (consequence) points when you've been wondering where your sweet child that would do anything for a sticker has gone!

nb mine has not got 4 million C points, but there has certainly been, let's say, a drop in focus, in year 8.

I wasn't going to say anything as clearly the mum needed it, until she said 'it's a shame littleraging isn't as gifted or popular isn't it?' so I happily brought her down

Blimey....I cannot believe someone would openly say that to another person.
Sure, we need to be our kids' biggest fans, but not at the expense of other people's children.

If your DS has a diagnosis of ASD and ADHD it’s possible that your DD isn’t ‘just not nice’ - girls are hugely underdiagnosed and it might well be more than anxiety.

I think it's a shame when teachers can't find any positives. My colleague had negative reports until her son was in year 6. His year 6 teacher described him as quick witted and a natural people person. Explained how he could be disruptive early in the year but had been working on learning when it's appropriate to joke and was now a joy to have in the classroom. That he made her and the class cry with laughter some days. Commented on his confidence and his ability to get the quieter pupils to join in. The fact that he had gone up two years of reading levels in the space of a year. The hard work he had been putting into maths and how he managed to get over 50% for the first time. My colleague was so proud to finally have a teacher say something nice about him and he was on cloud 9 himself.

Then year 7 came. After his last teacher's encouragement he started to really knuckle down and try his best but his next report was back to comments about how he was behind his peers with reading, his maths wasn't up to scratch at all and how he needed to stop trying to be liked and focus on his work. There wasn't a single positive comment.

My children are all adults now so this is all behind me.
Both my sons were clever at school.. SATS results off the scale..
My daughter a summer born child - less so.. but conversely, the only child in her reception class who could tie shoelaces despite some of them being almost a year older.. was not as successful in exam situations...
All three treated the same and no boasting to other parents by me. Not ever.

My ds is autistic.

I took school reports with a pinch of salt as they always reflected a teachers understanding of asd than my ds.

Secondary reports were the best.

9/10 subjects a short comment in each. Again - it was all dependent on teachers understand because it could be like reading about 2 different children on one page!!!

I didn't think you could get "bad" reports. My 9 year old who has learning difficulties will get a tick in the "working below the expected standard" column for most subjects and score high in the effort section. Then there will be a little comment from the teacher about how he is helpful and kind. My 11 year old who has adhd will get average in most columns and exceeding expectations/high effort for maths. He will probably get low effort for either writing or homework and a comment from the teacher that he is lively and chatty.

My older dc in secondary school will just have a list of subjects and columns with "predicted grade based on year 6 sats (although how they can predict my son's music gcse result from his sats results I'll never know)", "current working grade", "predicted gcse results". Then there is his attendance percentage, number of positive behavior points, negative behavior points and a generic comment from the head teacher like "a pleasing report" or "well done".

My dc are far from perfect but I would consider those as "good reports". Not that I would be bragging about them on facebook. I always thought that even if a child blew up the school then obviously there would be phone calls and meetings, referrals to professionals etc but their school report would still be fairly positive with something like "negative behaviour points 33421" in small letters and then "X has made good progress and has developed a keen interest in chemistry this year".

I think there's definitely insecurity of the part of the parent that is constantly bugging up their children.

on the part*

I'm lookin forward to the annual game of how many ways will DSs report euphemistically say 'good god this boy never shuts up'. Key words/phrases we look for are enthusiastic, eager, keen to share his knowledge, enquiring, can alway be relied on to supply an answer and one year the less than subtle 'I always know when small Otters has arrived in the morning'. I could share any of these (OK maybe not the last one) on social media as a sign of praise but we know they actually mean that DS's SEN mean he has no filter, no off switch and no volume knob.

Oh and yes to the teen thing. We live in a small town with 1 secondary school so I've known lots of the children in dc1's year (year 11) from when they were bumps. My non sleeping baby who was into everything as a toddler has made it to 16 without getting drunk or arrested. Many of his peers who slept through the night at 6 weeks and were lovely calm toddlers have not.

bigging up* 😅

@OttersMayHaveShiftedInTransit your son sounds like he would get on very well with mine

Aquilegia of course yes often the case that intelligent parents have bright kids. Only they don’t boast about it online or in real life. That is what the thick parents of bright kids do. Hth.

I only know one person who boasts about report cards on social media. She’s a knob.

We celebrate good results (and effort as our school scores both) by sharing with the grandparents. I don’t even discuss it with my sister!

This is so sad. we have specifically chosen a school for DS (we are lucky enough to have some choice) that is less well known for brilliant academics and sports and more for being good at looking at the whole child - supportive and encouraging etc. DS is never going to get straight As. So I'm far more interested in whether he's working hard, is making progress, has found things he enjoys and IS good at, is improving his social skills etc. And a school that only banged on about the academics would really upset me.

StClare same. Plus it’s a breach of confidentiality of your non consenting child. I boast to my hearts content - to the grandparents only.