your child freedom formula - has anyone tried it?

[lu9months]

ive seen adverts for this on fb. they claim to be able to cure anxiety in young people. im suspicious - and nowhere does it tell you the cost. however im fairly desperate since my 16 year old is very disabled by anxiety. thanks

dappled That is what we are hoping. DH and I are novice cat owners though which is why we need to be in a good place too, in case we end up being the main carers. Hopefully though DD is off to study Animal Care in Sept so a cat is 'educational' as well as therapeutic.

@TeenMinusTests Cats are quite low maintenance once settled in :D Sounds like an absolutely lovely plan.

@TeenMinusTests

Are you getting a kitten or adult cat? We rehomed an adult from cats protection, much lower maintenance then a kitten (although kittens definitely have the added cute factor) & you'd think he'd lived here forever, well and truly settled in.

dappled Plan is for a rescue cat aged 6-11. Old enough so we're not stuck with it for ever after DD leaves home, young enough not to die of old age in next 3 years.

@TeenMinusTests sounds perfect, our boy is 7, still playful enough to be entertaining but also happy to chill.

We had an 18mnth old cat from blue cross - black, and he chose us. Best cat ever.

Some of the advice on here is invaluable. @mibb2 thank you for all the info you've posted, I've actually set aside a few hours tomorrow to properly look into the info you and others have posted here.

On another note, there seems to be a crowdfunder set up to fund YCFF also, I wonder why this is? Especially seeing as they told me they're overwhelmed with parents queueing up to hand over 5.5k for their formula!

I could be wrong about that actually. It seems to be somebody associated with them who wants professional training to help sufferers of childhood anxiety.

[quote GoodButNaughty]@MumOf2Teens2020

I don’t see why you aren’t able to state the aims in a short paragraph??

My therapist friend uses CBT to help young people with anxiety. I just googled this:

CBT aims to stop negative cycles such as these by breaking down things that make you feel bad, anxious or scared. By making your problems more manageable, CBT can help you change your negative thought patterns and improve the way you feel.

If you aren’t able to state what their formula is, is it possible to get YCFF to provide a succinct paragraph that states their formulas aims..??

Sadly I doubt it ... My DH had a try (following me explaining my friends situation):

YCFF aims to take disproportionate amounts of money from desperate parents of anxious teens who ideally have anxiety themselves and provide the same message repetitively to them in different formats to help do what CBT does (read above) and if there is non-compliance in the formula to belittle and criticise parents and teens for not fully engaging in the process this rendering it impossible for them to claim their money back.

Please feel free to correct him...[/quote]
I’m really not sure why people on here don’t sign up for the week’s free trial to see for themselves what YCFF is all about. That’s what I would do if I were really interested rather than just wanting to find fault. The things that some are saying on here is really quite offensive to those of us who are giving this course a good go and believe that it is helping our children. I think that’s a shame. Conventional CBT did not work for my son, neither did group therapy nor psychodynamic psychotherapy. I have spent more on all of the above over the years than I will be on this course, which offers support for as long as we need it. I decided to invest in something that I believe is actually helping my son. This is a family effort whereas all his previous therapy has been just for him - I think that is key to recovery. I’m not saying you can’t have family therapy but to keep talking about past trauma worsens anxiety rather than helping it. I’ll turn off notifications now because I don’t feel there is any point in me remaining on this thread. There are many who seem to think anyone posting a positive review of YCFF is affiliated with them 🤦🏼‍♀️. No - I am a pharmacist working in retail and receive no money from the company. I’m just someone with a teen with an anxiety disorder who believes this course is the right fit for him and my family. Goodbye all and good luck!

OK thanks Sam

The working with the family aspect I think has a lot to recommend it.
One of the things we really struggled with in the early months last spring/summer was gauging how best to react/respond: should we by sympathetic / or push back / or say don't be daft / how not to get exasperated / how much to push on schoolwork etc etc. Help was either for DD or for me, nothing 'joined up'.

The more I see of the posters using the formula, the more I think the YCFF are selecting based on parental anxiety and desperation. The posters all come over to me as at breaking point, clinging on to the lifebelt that has been thrown at them. And I can absolutely see why. I also think it would be quite possible to improve things quite quickly in a household where the parents have 'caught' the anxiety from the children. It is remarkable (which is why I am remarking on it) how some posters/reviewers are giving 5 star reviews before their children have even engaged in the process . So the parents are reviewing based on the change in their own behaviour and hope, not on any lasting impact on the child.

Personally I don't much like any product or service that doesn't have 'reasonable disclosure' up front (e.g. double glazing sales). I am always very wary of anything where you have to have a long phone call as the first exposure. I am wary of getting caught up in a wave of emotion or fancy sales techniques that stop me thinking clearly. The incoherence of the proponents of the formula as to what they are really benefitting from just re-enforces this to me. This is why it is not for me.

The video linked above disquieted me. I didn't like the idea that they had essentially 'tricked' young people into meeting them, by getting parents to take them out in the car and having clandestine meetings in a car park. It seems not the upfront and honest way I would want to start things off in helping my teen.

If this was sold as an intensive support group working with the families to advise and support, with a bit more visibility about process and pricing then fine. But it isn't.

So for me, I will keep away. I may be missing out on the best thing since sliced bread. But I suspect I wouldn't be the type of parent they want anyway.

MumOfTeens "I’m really not sure why people on here don’t sign up for the week’s free trial to see for themselves what YCFF is all about. That’s what I would do if I were really interested rather than just wanting to find fault. "

Good, whose message you quoted, is here to help a friend who has been through YCFF and had a bad experience, not out of interest in trying it for her own child / family, as fas as I'm aware.

At least 2 of the regular posters on this thread are here out of concern for parents who are vulnerable, as we can remember being in that position ourselves fairly recently.

As I've mentioned quite a few times now, I would have been interested in the long term regular support provided by YCFF. Having taken part in a parenting program myself I understand how valuable this would be But the passive aggressive, emotionally charged language on the website, videos, and trustpilot replies, and some of the posts on this thread have put me off. I would not be prepared to put myself or my child through a week's free trial.

Teen I found the secret technique video unsettling as well.

Have any of your watched the parent drop in footage on the website? I found some of that unsettling too, the focus seems to be in changing the parents behaviour and not reacting when the child is anxious, which in some situations may be appropriate but there is a woman who is obviously struggling with this when her daughter has self harmed and is blaming herself for not reacting in the "right" way according to YCFF. Also Sam has a tendency to shut parents down when the conversation is going down a route she doesn't agree with.

Good morning and thank you @Mibb2 for restating the whole purpose of me joining this thread. I’ve been aware of YCFF for some time via my friend and was completely neutral (actually I was interested and curious initially) about their practices until I started hearing concerning things about them not only from my friend but from social media too. I came across this Mumsnet thread only when doing research for my friend.

I have no desire to sign up for the free week (save for research purposes and to add to my file of info and evidence I’m gathering, although that does not feel congruous to me as I’d only be able to do that if I created a pseudonym and lied about my circumstances).

@dappledsunshine - I’ve not watched this video so I will and I’ll also send the link to my therapist friend and ask her to watch it too.

Someone called ‘Alex’ had posted negative comments on a YCFF FB thread yesterday and Sam responded (in her usual style) and then negative comments were deleted.

A further question I have relates to their business practices: does anyone know if TomWill holdings is VAT Registered as doing the maths on 150 users paying £110pcm (as per there own website info) this is well over the VAT Turnover threshold and I’m pretty sure the service they offer is not exempt.

@GoodButNaughty
@dappledsunshine
@Psuedoshoes
@TeenMinusTests
@DoubleTweenQueen
@Mibb2

This thread is just getting worse and worse, where as I stated yesterday is your compassion for anyone but eachother? We’re all struggling here with the same issue, if you guys are starting to put unhelpful bitchy comments about fb etc why don’t you make a group chat somewhere not on here and stop this, it’s not kind, kindness is the only way forward I think, you all have stated that you don’t want to sign up more than once, you’re all struggling too, people are trying their best as parents and as a mum myself I hope you mums look back and think what could I have done to be more kind to people, that’s all.

#bekind is a way of telling people to shut up when you don't want to hear opposing views.

I for one have not mentioned facebook etc. The thread has been pretty respectful and calm on the whole.

Someone coming fresh to YCFF can read the thread and decide for themselves whether they want to give it a go. Their money, their child, their choice.

To be honest Jungle you keep saying you are leaving the thread, yet keep coming back. It just seems to upset you. You may be better off doing what I did with the CV threads and just choose not to read further.

I think those of us who are skeptical are unlikely to change our minds unless users come on and explain more clearly about the formula. But apparently that isn't possible for some reason, so we are unlikely to have a meeting of minds.

Again jungle, you're imagining bitchiness where there just isn't any. I have no clue as to why you're taking this so personally when the criticism is aimed at YCFF. I have zero criticism of parents who have signed up to this, I nearly was one myself. Thanks to the info on this thread, I am not - yet I have some great info, some books ordered and I'm not five and a half grand out of pocket.

One jokey sarcy comment I made does not equate to bitchiness. It's just very very strange how people who claim they are not paid by YCFF are taking the criticism of YCFF personally, it makes no sense to me?

As an aside, has anyone been quoted the cheaper costs? Mine was the 5.5k, spread over 2 months. When I stated I'd need time to think, she told me places were so limited that I may miss out. Surely anyone can see these are dodgy sales tactics.

@TeenMinusTests
To be kind- having or showing a gentle nature and a desire to help others : wanting and liking to do good things and to bring happiness to others. —used to say that something does not cause harm, is not harsh or unpleasant, etc.

There are so many people on here who have told you it’s impossible to recall everything step by step because this is about you’re learning as well, if you don’t want to try the week free trial like I have then don’t ask you said it’s your choice, however if some of you are on it for the soul purpose of ‘putting people off’ because of a bad experience and posting just to detour people from getting help, then this is not justifiable, I keep getting sucked back into the thread as I feel my voice should be heard and not be put to sleep by the 6 of you mums. But because I feel like I am a bigger person I am now letting this go to allow myself some peace and start moving on in the right direction as this thread of nasty comments is not for me.

@JungleMum40 - you are missing the point entirely of why I’m posting what I am. I’m not speaking for anyone else accept myself and in doing my intentions are to:

• inform those parents who might be thinking about doing the formula of the things that I know that they might not know and need to know
• call out unscrupulous/unfair business practices which are misleading, or intimidatory/harmful or otherwise

Hopefully that is clearer and you and others can understand my intentions and reasons for spending my precious time on this

@GoodButNaughty
You stated that you were posting for a friend.
Okay as are you missing the point of why I started commenting on this thread in the first place. Goodluck all

Pseudo It's just very very strange how people who claim they are not paid by YCFF are taking the criticism of YCFF personally, it makes no sense to me?

I can see how it happens. It is like when people take other parents' choice of schools personally. As if by choosing a different approach you are criticizing their choices, rather than just doing what seems best to you.
We have 2 schools in our town, I was always very careful to always start discussions with 'they are both excellent schools' (which they are) and then say 'we think X will suit DDs better''.

@TeenMinusTests
And we have all stated our opinions so if you know you’re not going to try it, why feel the need to comment on people’s experiences, makes no sense, if someone said Ada I want to get fit or loose weight but I don’t want to sign up to the gym, then I would look to personal Train them at home but they still have to work to loose that weight. My husband is very much the drive of our gym, Thank you.

@TeenMinusTests
People are taking it personally I think because you are belittling their experience and then picking it apart as I have said before, and if they feel it is helping them, then they are going to get defensive about their children, as would you.

Any post on this thread will keep this at the top of the child mental health forum. As they say, there is no such thing as bad publicity.

Anyone mumsnetter visiting the website for this commercial child mental health enterprise should note that it will push up the company's website presence on Google search results. All websites gather user click stats and I wouldn't be surprised if this thread increased the traffic to the child freedom formula business that essentially sells solutions for child mental health. Any click and visit is very useful data for this organisation as someone unthread has said, all comments on this thread, positive or negative are valuable 'focus group' type of insight.

I would always be extra cautious about any private provider dabbling in child mental health services as a commodity. Ideally such services should have the utmost transparency and rock solid governance. Any service that wants to get closely involved with anyone's family life (as this provider say they do) should undergo the utmost scrutiny. Think about what you would ask if you interviewed a nanny. I'd want even more independent references for any mentor that gets close access to a child's innermost fears and thoughts.

The posters who, for lack of a better expression, advocate for the child freedom formula seem very invested and defensive. I'd like to say to them that no business is above criticism and that how a company deals with critique shows their intentions and approach.

Having read all the comments on this thread, I'd urge much caution.