your child freedom formula - has anyone tried it?

[lu9months]

ive seen adverts for this on fb. they claim to be able to cure anxiety in young people. im suspicious - and nowhere does it tell you the cost. however im fairly desperate since my 16 year old is very disabled by anxiety. thanks

Good luck if it works for you and your teenager. Caution and scepticism remains- unconvinced no sale I'm afraid.

If you book yourself on the 60mins you will understand the mambo jumbo with no substance. Hard core sales pitch. Why the need to hook parents to an hr and all the videos on the Facebook page & 60 min podcast which doesn't really say anything much if this is a simple therapy that works. Why the hard work to convince and sale this programme. I dont get it. Most reputable programs and therapist dont do that.

@Noodle2571 did you also join mumsnet just to post on this thread?

Seems to be a lot of this happening along with the vague "spend £5k and we'll reach your child the physiology of anxiety" plus we'll tell you have you've been parenting incorrectly and exacerbating the problem (to keep that parental guilt ramped up and ensure you keep reaching into those pockets).

I didn’t experience this hard sell. I watched the webinar and it sounded like they were describing my child. Yes I signed up to mumsnet today after not using it for years to try and comment as someone who is using the formula. As I explained above the feed came up on my google search. Anyway I have no interest in trying to convince anyone of anything so I’ll bow out 😊

Hi @Kimchee21,
How did your 1 hour phone call go? Did it convince you to sign up your child?

I sent them a long message explaining how I would not be talking to them as they play on people’s emotions and that I could pay somebody privately a quarter of the price and they sent me back a message on how I could pay in instalments. To which I replied that I could take my level 4 and qualify myself and help people at a fraction of the cost, I then did not accept their phone call but funnily enough they keep emailing me trying to pull on my heart strings so they have been blocked.

Level 4 is what? 1st year university level?

I dealt with my dds anxiety by:

Taking the pressure off - in many ways

Getting her to understand and accept the evolutionary and physiological basis of her anxiety.

Getting her to understand she was not weird or unusual in her anxieties and daily fears. That it was actually quite normal and most people experienced it to a lesser or even greater degree.

Finding activities and interactions that
a) showed her there was actually very little to fear
b) she was able to tackle, with support, and gave her a sense of achievement once completed

Finding her a new smaller school that had more of an individual approach - support with growing independence. Mediation approach to fallings out, early signs of somone being either picked on. Individual responsibility. Regular attendance took a couple of terms, but each positive day led to a virtuous cycle of positive days and emerging bonding, friendships, trust & self-confidence. She is so happy and confident to now move up to the linked secondary school, with the majority of her new friends.

Just in case it's useful. We had a ridiculously simplistic and expensive interaction with a 'psychologist'. I figured it out for myself, and didn't go for CBT.

Nvq level 4 is higher education btec

This is very helpful thank you 🙏🏻

I think the key is to find the cause of the anxiety and acknowledge and tackle it.
For us it was a bullying and toxic environment, which we removed her from.

Double Any suggestions when the anxiety is germs in the middle of a pandemic?

What do you do when you remove them from the source of the anxiety but they still don’t want to go out? They are safe at home and don’t trust other people (social anxiety).

Comfysofa78 this is also my 2 boys' dilemma. They had experienced bullying in their old school and some sort of scare in their new special schools and the toxic children were removed from their school, but they still refuse to go to school. Their safe place is at home. Their teachers come every week to check up on one of them. My boy tells them he doesn't like the daytime. He prefers the night time because it's quiet. I'm still waiting what they can say to change his mind about going back to school.

@TeenMinusTests I am also an early retired molecular virologist (HIV, HCV, HPV, Flu) and have spent the last year decoding the news, which thrives on exaggeration and misinterpretation, for my own children and friends.
I think for you, it's important to get perspective for you and your child. Depending on what's happening in your area, to those you know & love. Keep away from the news media. Understand that the risks are very low and that it's a delicate virus that is easily killed by good hand hygiene.
Writing lists is a good exercise -
eg
What am I actually afraid of?
How likely is it to actually happen?
What can I do to minimise any risk?
What do I want to start enjoying again? How can I do these things more safely?

What other risks do I face every single day without even thinking about it?

Then small actions to face fears and see that it's ok, while taking the usual mask/hands/personal space precautions - go to the shops etc.

It's difficult to say exactly what might help as you know your child best, but making the fear a healthier and more manageable perspective/smaller and empowering to manage and tackle the fear is what I would do.

@TeenMinusTests If a general germ-phobia, understanding how our skin and body are covered in and protected by amazing bacteria. A bit of humorous grossing out ! We need them - they are pretty essential to healthy existence.

Some make us ill, but so important to have a healthy regard for 'germs' :)

@Comfysofa78 When my DD was out of school and did not want to engage with the world, I found local home ed groups with meet ups, where we found the children had a very friendly and welcoming attitude and would take dd off to play.
Also, meeting up 1:1 with a few particular friends.
Small steps - showed her how her expectations and the reality were very far apart: that she was not 'weird' and got on with anybody and everybody, was a kind and fun friend. Self- esteem building.
Again, making lists.
We would do things such as:
Words to describe myself and my personality.
What makes me happy?
Who makes me happy? How?
What makes me sad?
Who makes me sad? Why?

She found that her negative attributes (we all have them) list was much smaller than her positive qualities.
What she enjoyed much more than a small number of things that upset her.
More people and children that she got on with well than didn't.

We did this a few times over 4months, which got her started and in a good place to even think about going back to school; then school visit, tentative positivity, then bumpy reality for a couple of terms with a small level of refusal and fear - deep breathing, comics, blowing soap bubbles on way to school. A positive experience would be a small powerful building block to help build confidence back.

Also, with lists - what did she want for her future? How could we work towards getting there?

It's a lot of things - identifying triggers and physical response, rationalising, distraction, coping, facing up to! (the hardest but most powerful tool), talking things through, relaxation, fun, good sleep (we employed audio books at bedtime to avoid fretting at night), walks and fresh air.

Clearly, this was pre-pandemic for us.

@Coffeegurl70 There are so many children who hate and really can't deal with the chaos in some schools. I don't know what the answer is, unless the school can provide a quiet space to allow your boys to get back for at least part of the day?

I would also look for the national FB groups on school refusal, home ed - sorry, can't remember names but will see if I can look up.

Coffeegurl, I feel your pain. Our school unfortunately never gave any sanctions or threatened to remove the 2 bullies so my daughter didn’t feel safe or supported. After 18 months of not being at school we had a few meetings but it was too late. They should have listened when I explained we were at breaking point where she would end up not attending at all, still no support so it ended up coming true. She’s shut off from all friends, won’t go out in case she needs to speak to people and can’t consider any education or career stuff. She will talk to a few friends online but won’t entertain meeting up with them, we can also get her to the pub garden but that’s about it. We’ve had so much intervention from the LA and nobody can signpost or provide any suggestions. CAMHS discharged us at a time when she’d stopped eating for weeks as she no longer qualified for support 🤷🏻‍♀️. This was an option but I’m really sceptical and not sure of the best option as she’s so fed up with trying now.

The two FB private groups I found useful are:
Not Fine in School - Family support for school attendance difficulties

School Refusal Support Services for Phobia, Refusal, and Separation Anxiety

Thank you all! Thank you @DoubleTweenQueen for the very helpful information and the FB groups. I will certainly check them out. ❤️ @Comfysofa78 hang in there. There's got to be some support for our kiddos out there that doesn't cost thousands of Pounds!
@DoubleTweenQueen I might try that making lists idea. I have been contemplating on something similar. I am subscribed to The Big Life Journal emails but my boys dislike writing and the older one has issues touching some types of paper. Thanks again!

A session where you sit them down with a favourite snack, get them relaxed, and you ask the questions and write their answers on a large pad to show them the results?

Get them to suggest answers for each other too? :)

I would divide the page in two down the middle with pos/neg either side so an instant visual for how they compare in length.

Both my girls have The big Life Journal, but haven't gone through it much. There is some good stuff in there about negative thinking.

The saddest thing about the negative comments on here about YCFF is that, if I had read them before joining the programme, I would probably not have joined. I am so so thankful I didn’t see them. I don’t know where we would be now if I had.

Maybe those writing the reviews believe what they are saying and think they are actually helping others (or maybe not), either way what they are actually doing, potentially, is taking away an opportunity for those who have nowhere else to turn to finally get the help they need. So if the negative reviews on YCFF are having their desired effect, please think twice.

I can only speak from my families experience. It will work. They will be there for you and your family until your child is fully recovered, no matter how long that may be. You just need to put your trust in them.

I've also put this review on Trustpilot in the hope that it helps someone in a similar position in their decision making, whatever that may be.

My heartfelt thanks goes to Sam and her team. Stay strong. Don't let the haters get you down. You are appreciated.