Support thread for parents of children with MH issues [title edited by MNHQ at OPs request]

[blimppy]

DD(16) has been taken to A&E by DH having cut her arm badly and with suicidal thoughts. I'm at home with younger child. DD has been assessed by CAMHS, has anxiety and Depression, and is being treated by GP with anti-depressants while we wait (forever it seems) for CAMHS to actually provide some treatment. She sees a private counsellor who is concerned that the ADs are not working properly, and we have a GP appointment next week to review the medication. I just wondered if anyone might know what we might expect to happen now?

Dd has been on it for a year, she is up to 2 mg. I was told to drop by .5 every 3 or 4 days. She's feeling a little dizzy just now but she's in a calm happy mood.

She's on 200mg of Sertraline also but I'm unsure about that at the moment!

It does feel like guesswork with the meds doesn't it! That's a much higher dose, and longer time, than DD had on Respiradone, so I guess some withdrawal symptoms are likely. I'll keep my fingers crossed that they don't get any worse for her/you.

maybe this can be our new thread.

dd14 just doesn't seem to be responding to the 10mg prozac as well as i thought. Has been on Prozac 6 weeks, but went very slowly up to 10mg, which she has been on for 2 weeks.
Is it too early to tell yet?
Been pretty low myself last few days, not seeing much improvement. Dd been ill for 18 months now, and out of mainstream altogether. Has cbt, but that's pretty sporadic, due to camhs person being unable to be at all appts made.

very frustrating. psychiatrist want us to give it longer on 10mg. How long i ask.

dd still flipping between bearable to suicidal. :(

Hi "thesunwillout", welcome to the thread! That sounds tough with your DD. I'm not sure quite what the difference is between Prozac and Fluoxetine, but I know our GP said to give Fluoxetine 4-6 weeks before you can judge the effect it is having. So hopefully, it may yet improve things for your DD (and you!)

Agh, I need a rant! Dd is coming off the Respiridone and last night she had a huge meltdown about school tomorrow. She attacked me again.

I am so torn. I hate her being on the drug as its done nothing for her except reduce her aggression. It was at too big a cost to her though.

I'm struggling with the idea of managing her violence again. On the plus side I have a SW coming out to assess us so finally we might get some support.

I have a follow up GP appt tomorrow and then I have another 2 weeks off work. I really think I need more time off but I'm nervous to ask the GP.

thanks blimmpy, i was another user name further down. just needed to change it.

Prozac and Fluoxetine are the same thing. dd has been on it 6 weeks in total.

I think i have held it in so long, that i am starting to crumble, and it alarms me, but trying to tell myself it's got to be normal to feel like this, and just pray it's part of our process.
I feel very ill, down, exhausted (am on Prozac myself).

thornrose, glad you have an appt tomorrow, go back and get signed off again, you need to. x

Oh Thornrose, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with such aggression again. Keep looking after yourself. This is all so hard, and you're not the only one who feels she's crumbling thesunwillout! I'm resisting ADs at the moment, but trying to get some counselling to help me cope. I'm sitting here in tears at the moment.

We had a meeting at the College today. DD is determined to leave at half term without sitting any AS exams. She wants to go and do an apprenticeship, and probably some voluntary work experience beforehand. We are supporting her in this, but she just doesn't seem able to take any steps to make it happen at the moment. I've even provided her with draft CVs, covering letters etc and contact details for her to approach, but she still won't actually send an e-mail to make anything happen. Just stays in her room watching YouTube videos of other people playing computer games. I know she's ill, but sometimes I feel really angry that she is throwing her life away. Obviously I don't show her that, and other times I just feel so sad that my clever, cheery DD is now a shell of her former self. I just have to keep reminding myself that the important thing is for her to get well, and the future can then be sorted out. But I am sure that if she has no work (voluntary or paid) lined up when she leave college, she will just live in her room and that won't do her any good!

Sorry, that was a bit of a ramble.

I am sorry that your teenagers are having these problems. SSRIs (which includes sertraline and fluoxetine) are known to have the potential to increase suicidal thoughts, especially in younger patients. They do need very close monitoring - and teenagers do not like that.

Sadly CAMHs are very patchy around the country and very poorly staffed.

What a dreadful worry and stress this must be for you all.

Blimppy I can totally understand that feeling of wasted potential!! I would give anything to go back 18 months to the smiley, funny, motivated girl I used to live with - I miss her! It is really important to look after yourself though...were it not for the citalopram that my GP put me on almost a year ago, I don't think I would be coping as well. Mental illness is so hard on everyone around the child involved, but I can't even begin to comprehend how it must be for them! My DD used to aspire to be head girl, thrived in school and had a plan for herself. She is now in a situation where those things are the very least of her concerns...I truly believe she is getting through each day one struggling step at a time. All we can do is be there for them, and to do that we must be as strong as we can. I learned that getting emotional doesn't help. Enjoy the good days but be prepared for the crashes. I find drinking wine helps!!!

I struggled so much to accept dd couldn't now take part in all the things she was so good at.
As a parent I have had to reset my mental 'course', for her if that makes sense?

Can i ask, do your children go to mainstream school? What support have they had, what has been offered. Half days? A separate place to study? Any in school support at all?
How about attendance, the dreaded Welfare officer?

I feel i have fought so many battles with the above all along the way, as well as the mental illness.

My dd came out of mainstream (tho still registered) and is temporarily at a learning unit, many miles away. She is lucky to have this. It got to the point where she hadn't been able to go in for months, and then a slow introduction back, didn't work as her health got worse. Have any of your children been offered similar, because i don't know how dd would have survived in mainstream.

She doesn't 'do' much work where she is, but it's somewhere to go when she can.

DD goes to a sixth form college, who have been brilliant. They have gone to great efforts to try and put in place support and allowances. Despite all that, she hasn't gone in for her lesson today. They are offering to support her in applying for work experience and an apprenticeship also, but it still needs her to make some effort! Right now, it seems to me that she will be living out her life in her bedroom. I can't see any end to this currently.

blimmpy, I hope tomorrow is a better day for her (and you)
It's so draining, you just want a 'normal' day, half day, hour don't you.

my dd is still in yr9.

blimmpy, reading your previous messages on the thread, your doc described your dd as being sensitive to ssri's?

what did doc mean, and how did you feel it was affecting your dd.

My DD (Yr10) is now on a 'reduced timetable' at a mainstream school. Her attendance has been shocking over the last year or so. The school had given her a 'pass' to leave lessons if she felt it was too much for her but the only provision was to sit with the children who had been internally excluded from school. This was causing more stress than being in every lesson.

It took camhs creating a revised timetable, with French, RE, and sadly History, taken out, for the school to really sit up and take notice! Although the school agreed to it, and it initially seemed to be helping, they are now backtracking. I am not sure what the outcome will be and I have meetings due to come up with school, camhs and educational welfare.

We have been lucky, so far, as our attendance officer is lovely, and has taken a real shine to my DD. She is very understanding and all absences have been authorised. Sadly, as her attendance is hitting the 60% mark, 'meetings' are being arranged. I feel lucky to have camhs on board and they really seem to be in my DD's corner, which I know isn't always the case.

It has taken a while, but I am now a believer in health and well being taking presidents over exam results. The fear of failure and knowing that you are not achieving your best are soul destroying. Schools will always add the pressure on, so I think that if it is coming from home as well it can be too much for a young person, who is already suffering, to take. When I watch my DD unable to get out of bed some mornings, and I know that if she were an adult she would be signed off work, it breaks my heart. Like I said, enjoy the good days, but don't be fooled, anxiety and depression are always lurking. If you are lucky enough to have an understanding school embrace it!

thesunwillout, the fluoxetine had seemed initially to help lift DD's depression a bit, but her mood became very volatile, veering from very up, to very down with bursts of irrational anger. Poor DD didn't know if she was coming or going! How much that caused the escalation in the self harm, I'm not sure. The psychiatrist seemed to think it probably wasn't a cause. But DD certainly had some increase in suicide ideation, which I know can be a side effect in teens. I didn't actually think to ask any further questions at the time (doh!) so I am not sure whether this means all SSRIs are a no-go for DD and, if so, whether there is any medical option left?

Seriouslyworried - we have been really lucky with DD's college. They could easily have washed their hands of her given the amount of lessons she has missed, the subjects she has dropped. Even now, with her attendance at best sporadic, no intention to take the exams, and a plan to leave in a couple of weeks, they are still trying to support her. I don't think her secondary school would have been anywhere near as understanding! I know you are right that her health has to take priority, but I'm so anxious about what future she might have. I can't currently see her doing anything!

I am not even sure that my very able DD will be able to scrape the grades to do anything at all post Y11. It terrifies me, and I know it terrifies her. But every time she thinks too much about it it causes her to be sick. It's a vicious circle that we keep going around in. The only thing that keeps us all sane is an out of school theatre group that she is a part of...we are hoping she may be able to volunteer with the younger classes which would be something positive to put on any applications. It's a bit of a nightmare, but we have to take one day at a time..."Tomorrow is a new day" seems to be the motto of my life!!

I agree, it's terrifying, like looking into a black hole where her future should be. I know it's counter productive to try and nag her, but it's sooooo hard. It's good your DD has something she is still part of. My DD does dance, and volunteers in classes for younger kids. I think she gets quite a boost from it, so it's definitely worth trying for.

blimmpy, would you be able to ask MN to perhaps re name this thread, as I think it is helping us all to support each other in a situation that is very isolating?
I have done many searches across the web, and on MN for other parents such as yourselves, for similar situations,
especially schooling, medication, etc.

It's uplifiting for me, to not feel so alone.

I agree, the pressure of school in itself, whether you feel supported, understood, or not is such a weight on our young people. It's catch 22 isnt it.

I am ringing dd's psychiatrist today to ask again about the Prozac, it's not doing anything to life her mood. Dd really doesn't know like you said if she is coming or going, and it's affecting me too.
I am not sure that 3 weeks of 10mg is enough, if it's not long enough to see yet. She started on 2.5 for one week, upping it to 5.0mg after one and so on.
I know doc will proba say to wait, but dd is getting worse.

will check back soon to see how everyone is doing. x

Happy to get it renamed, but don't know how to do it! Grateful if you could let me know what I need to do. I agree entirely about how isolating this experience is. I have friends in RL who are supportive, but all their kids are doing just fine and I am finding it really positive to be able to share with others who (sadly) are going through the same stuff. I had a very negative day yesterday so am trying hard to be positive today. DD has actually gone into college, but today's worry is that she has had a row with her girlfriend and it looks possible that she might get dumped! I think we've locked all the sharp things away, but can't be sure that there's nothing hidden in her room. I hate having to think like this!

I hope you have a helpful chat with your DD's psychiatrist today.

Using this as a long running support thread would be great for me too. If you report the thread to HQ with a request to rename it they can do that.

My dd has AS and other issues which means her future was always uncertain. I get scared just thinking about it. I see her life being so, so hard it makes me want to weep.

She lost her dad, she has no siblings, no friends. She has a new online "boyfriend" which seems to be making her happy but I even worry about that!

I went back to my GP yesterday and I'm signed off for another month. I started my Sertraline today. It feels odd taking the same medication as my dd. I feel a bit if a fraud but it's breaking me.

hiya, just waiting for the psychiatrist to ring me back.

Am glad she has gone in today blimmpy, I know it's so gut wrenching when you know they are facing a traumatic 'thing' and you just don't know how it's going to impact.
Then you don't know how to ask them how things went, etc, for fear of making them worse.

Thornrose, my dd has lost all her school friends, it's very tricky because bonds are made thru class etc, but she's not there with them anymore. She has no siblings either, and a dad who is not in her life anymore(this has been the main problem of her mental health)

Maybe blimmpy you could call the thread, The Thread of Support for Parents?

oh Thornrose, I am glad you got signed off x

Thanks thesun.

How about "Support thread for parents of children with MH issues"

Thornrose - you are definitely not a fraud, so be kind to yourself!

I've asked for the thread to be renamed.

I feel for you both watching your DDs struggling without friends. My DD went through most of secondary school without friends. The ironic thing is that she has made friends at sixth form college, and now I worry about her losing them once she leaves college. They will be focused on A levels and uni, and she'll be doing nothing/on a different path and out of sight is often out of mind.

Right now I'm still waiting to hear from DD about when she is coming back. Not sure if it is good or bad that she hasn't contacted me yet!

Any news from the psychiatrist thesun?

hello, thornrose you have to be well yourself, and i too am on antidepressants, and do well on them otherwise i wouldn't be able to be here for dd.

blimmpy, I hope your dd is ok, you never know she may well stay in touch with 'someone' even if it's a text now and again?

The psychiatrist isn't in till monday, have discovered, so glad i rang back.
I lost it slightly, and was put thru to dd's counsellor who was very good, and he will try and speak to or email psych, also there is another doc there who he is going to try and speak to.
I need to go out the house for an hour and have asked them to call me on my mobile if no answer from home. Sat here all morning to fearful to go for a wee in case the bloody phone rang at that moment.

hey ho