Is anger normal after a breast cancer diagnosis and recent bereavement?

[Maisy7]

I had my breast cancer confirmed on Thursday....10th
Out of nowhere I was so angry last night - it was horrible!
Emotions all over the place....is this normal?
I feel terrible....I had a go at my Mum on text...asking her to give me space to let it all sink in. I only lost my Dad to cancer a few months ago...and think I'm not over that yet, and it's brought up alot of bad feeling.
I've apologised to her...but feel awful!
Just wanted to share this somewhere safe....

Yes. Perfectly normal. It is the shock and a bit like your body has let you down. I found after my diagnosis dealing with others’ reactions is hard. People hear cancer and immediately jump to certain conclusions. You will feel more settled once you have your treatment plan. Do not google too much. Go for lots of walks to dissipate the cortisol. I am 9 years all clear now. Thank heavens for a good pathologist and surgeon. I didn’t need chemo, fortunately . Your emotions will be all over the place for quite some time even when you are out the other side of it all. You don’t have to tell everyone. You just do you.

Oh Maisy! So sorry you are feeling angry, I expect it's completely normal- you've had a massive shock and you've lost your dad too!
I hope you are feeling better now and starting to get your head straight.
Sending love, sausages (from the other thread) xx

Awww 🥰 @Sausages123456 Thank you!
yes feeling less angry, more all over the place!!
I too am on another thread, but tbh all the support is much appreciated.
Hope you are doing great.

I’ve got lots to sort and process before Lumpectomy, 5 weeks away.

Going to prehab my heart out!!

Yes, absolutely normal. Just one of those things happening can make you feel anger so both, together, I think your reaction is totally normal. I know when DH was told he had cancer not long after having lost his dad he had spells where he was angry too. Good luck with your treatment, I hope it is kind to you.

Yes, completely normal.

Very normal. I found “The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer” really helpful in the first few weeks.

I lost my dad 2 months after my active treatment ended. I was very angry about it all for a long time, so I know how you feel. I just tried not to tell it take over. A specialist said to me that a cancer diagnosis and a bereavement are two of the most traumatic things you can experience, so experiencing them together makes it that much worse. Hope your treatment goes well, you'll find lots of support and advice in here x

I posted on your other thread.
I don't remember being angry but that's not me. Definitely emotional. I found it hard to tell people especially my mum and my DC.
Later on I got a bit resentful of the brave/ warrior type comments and pretty annoyed with some friends who melted away.

A book called Ticking Off Breast Cancer by Sara Liyange was very helpful.

@SunnyValemin
Sorry to hear you lost your Dad too....even though my Dad had been ill for a long time and been through chemo/immunotherapy, it was so horrid. He was such a fighter. Then I had to help mum through the whole funeral/probate etc. and we are still sorting things out..I personally think this contributed/stress...to my own diagnosis, but who knows and I'm certainly not going to blame it on anyone. It is what it is...

It definitely has been very traumatic, so I'm keeping it in the day atm, avoiding stress and trying to keep positive as much as possible.

Thank you for your kind words or support.

xx

Absolutely normal, I got into needle felting when I was having treatment, meant I could have a good stab at something!

Yes, normal. Your world has just been turned upside down.

Sending love and hugs.

I'm really sorry, that does sound really tough for you. Your dad does sound like he was a real fighter. My dad's death was a real shock, but it's not easy at all however it happens. Just make sure to look after yourself - I think we all instinctively want to look after others at times but you have to come first. My consultant has said he thinks me staying positive has helped (not that I felt positive all the time). I just kept saying well I have to get on with it or I won't be here. Sending love x