Cancer pain dragging me down

[Enigma54]

God the pain from this fucking bloody cancer is dragging me down! It’s so so so hard to “ live with” these days. I’m 2 years in and honestly l wish the end was in sight. I’m off my chemo as heart isn’t behaving. My fear is that heart is fucked completely and that will be the end. My kids are only 21 and 18. None of this is fair, none of it!!!

I'm so sorry you are suffering. I think you need to tell someone who can help such as your specialist? Do you have a nurse looking after you who could help or maybe your GP

Yes im under the pain team. They are calling on Tuesday.

My heart goes out to you. No one who has not experienced this will really understand how you feel, but I just wanted to say it must be so terrible for you to have to think about leaving your children. Its every parents dread.
Being in chronic pain is bound to affect how you act, I am a right bloody moaner at the moment because I have a sore knee 🙄and that's incomparable with what you are going through physically and emotionally for two years.
Sending much love from a MN stranger and wishing that you find some respite from your pain. xxxx

@Enigma54 I’m so sorry you are in so much pain. I don’t have much but it’s over my liver on the right upper side and I tell my oncologist every time I see her but nothing shows up on tests so idk🤷🏻‍♀️. The US isn’t until October!!! I hope your pain team comes up with a great plan for pain relief. If they don’t make your voice loud!
When I was first diagnosed with this three years ago I didn’t want to find out how long I had to live. My dad died of this. Google said 15% chance of 5 year survival. I didn’t realize there were all kinds of things related to cancer that could kill me. Sure enough my heart is wonky and I’m praying my chemo won’t be stopped. I had to skip this past Wednesday’s dose due to low platelets. It’s been happening quite frequently now and Dr said the chemo could be attacking my bone marrow 🤬. She said i can’t be on chemo forever. Yep, she’s right. Sorry this was so long. However I believe where there’s life there’s hope (I hope). There’s still so many things i want to see 😢!!!

Thanks all. It’s such a hard road to
walk and the pain, well it’s just a constant bloody reminder of this disease.

I shall tell the pain team on
Tuesday and hopefully they will advise on what I can do.

I know I need to help myself a bit more, with exercises etc.

Agree entirely. Where there’s life, there’s definitely hope. We have to hang onto that mantra!

Theres so much I want to see and do too. My kids need me around for a lot longer than this. I HAVE to keep
going. I hope you won’t have your chemo stopped. We forget how toxic these drugs are and what potential damage they are doing to our organs. None of this is fair.

Thankyou for your lovely kind words, that’s so nice of you. I hope your knee gets better soon. Pain is truly horrid x