Likely pancreatic cancer. How do I tell my mum that I'm probably dying from the same thing that killed my father?

[Earlandmrsgrey]

As the title says. Been suffering with bowel problems/pain for sixth months. GP decides it must be IBS as bloods are fine, it's not coeliac disease and multiple fit test are negative. I'm not sure and carry on in more and more pain until I eventually feel a lump just under my ribs on the left. Have to wait ages to see another GP but he has a feel and sends a referral straight off for an urgent ultrasound. Ultrasound results show hydronephrosis of the left kidney with a possible tumour and more worrying of all is a mass in the tail of the pancreas.

I've not seen anyone else yet so still early on in the diagnosis but I know it's not good. I've been feeling more and more lethargic, I'm in more and more pain, my back is agony and I'm losing so much weight.

Fifteen years ago my beloved father had the same symptoms, he knew he was dying months before diagnosis and I was the only one who believed him. Eventually he got the diagnosis and lived for another fifteen days. I think I have longer than that as I'm still functioning fairly well but I know the outlook will be poor.

How do I tell my mother? I spoke to her a few weeks ago saying that I was unwell. All she could say was "please don't let it be the pancreas." I just want to protect her, that's who I am. Always the one to look out for others before herself. Then there is my husband who is not one to cope and then my young adult sons.

So sad.

Nostalgic sigh for chubby bunnies! Though tragically a woman died during a game, so it’s lost its rosy glow.

Sounds like fabulous progress (on recovery and getting rid of walnuts)

Why have I never heard of chubby bunnies? (Dont worry, I've googled it). If it's going to kill, though, maybe that's a good thing.

No useful advice, just following the recovery.

That's what did marshmallows for me as well. Chubby bunnies. Too young to be drunk though. 🤢

Following along but not knowledgeable enough to offer decent advice. Glad that some things are getting a little bit less difficult.

I’ve got a permanent stoma (colostomy) and to soften up your output you could try liquorice, beer, melon, more caffeine, leafy green veg, prune juice and baked beans! I use a deoderising oil as well in my bags that smells nice and helps the output to slide down the bag! Join the colostomy uk Facebook community as well if you haven’t already as there are lots of friendly people on there that can offer help if you need it. Best wishes for your continued recovery - you are doing brilliantly!

This thread has just been lovely despite the OPs diagnosis and surgery obviously. What an upbeat supportive comment this is. Shows mums net can be a nice place ❤️

I completely agree❤️

And the OP is so obviously lovely. So brave and strong.

I love this thread 🥰

I hope OP and others who are going through something similar are strong and keep going. Great support and encouragement here. Love this thread too.

All of you sound so so lovely, warm and thoughtful. 😍😀

Four weeks today since I had surgery! Last tinzaparin injection was this morning which is definitely something to celebrate. Apart from that little celebration I feel like crap today. First round of vaccinations was yesterday and I cannot lift my arms today and my whole body aches. Couldn't get off the sofa last night after snuggling down to watch Traitors. I need my arms to lever me off the sofa and out of bed as my abdominal muscles are next to useless. Poor DH was having to roll and manoeuvre me back onto my feet....I'm not little and tower over him as I am over 6ft tall! Today is definitely a PJ day.

There are other wins, thanks to advise above I've managed to soften my poo. It now goes into the bag instead of under it...sorry if I've put you off your lunch! I've also managed to put on a little bit of weight. Scars are less scabby and skin is more hydrated.

Thanks for being with me throughout this journey. Writing everything down is so cathartic and has really helped to keep me going.

Just a random lurker on the net, but after following the whole thread, so proud of how you've coped through all of this. You've been bloody amazing ❤❤❤

Well done you! Great to hear your updates. Another one championing you from afar :)

Well done @Earlandmrsgrey the feeling like crap post vaccinations is temporary but the rest sounds like more permanent changes for the better.

one of my colleagues had a stem cell transplant earlier this year and has had to have all of his childhood vaccines again which has really knocked him about. Good to get it done before the winter lurgies all ramp up though.

Hope you have a better night tonight xx

All about the small wins OP. Still thinking about you and you family whenever I log onto MN. 4 weeks has flown! Keep on keeping on x

That's great news OP, it's really good you are able to see the little wins, so important.

That particular problem with the bag is a right pain in the neck, fingers crossed you've cracked it!

So good that you're putting on weight too, that must feel like real progress

I'm so glad you're finding some wins amongst all the tricky bits. Good bowel movements are very underrated!

Lurker here OP. Your positivity throughout what you’ve been going through is inspirational. Hoping others going through a similar journey come across this, because I’m sure it would help them enormously.

Glad to hear the shit is not escaping now. You really don't need things to be more difficult.

You are doing amazingly well, OP. Your body is running a triple marathon and your strength and determination is awesome-inspiring. You’re allowed to feel exhausted and fed up

Hope you’re starting to feel better after all your shots @Earlandmrsgrey. Recovery from surgeries like yours are an Olympian feat. Aside from the physical, you have the practical life stuff happening around you and your feelings about that, as well as the burden of your own and everyone else’s emotional response to all that has happened. (Funny how responsible we feel for others just because our bodies turned on themselves…) What a load! Despite this, you sound so dialled in and connected. I’m so impressed.

I too am in awe of your fortitude OP. I wish you the very, very best.

Thinking of you, Mrs Grey, and hoping you are more comfortable as the days go by.

How are you?

Good, hopefully

Hi @Earlandmrsgrey . I’m really pleased to read you have gained a bit of weight and are starting to heal. How are you this week? X

Hoping the healing is going on ok. Wishing you some enjoyment of the autumn colours and many pj days.

I was walking past the Royal free last week OP as visiting my son - thought about you - do hope it’s a positive direction for you going forwards, you sound so lovely -