Have deceived myself enough - this is ridiculous. Still buying clothes for the body I remember and not the body I am - am likely to die of constriction at this rate but only if I manage to get the zip/buttons done. Have finally stepped on scales - absolutely rediculous how did I let it get this far? Dont answer I know theres a family size crisp packet in the bedroom bin. Time to get real so this is it I will do it and I will do it now.