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Bullying

Find advice from others who have experienced school or workplace bullying on our Bulllying forum.

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Original poster

Is name-calling really serious?

22 replies

Mmmmcoffee · 23/09/2009 00:19

DD came home from school Friday saying a couple of boys had called her names - one of which was "Nazi". We lived in Germany for a while and she's picked up a bit of the language, and has probably been showing off a bit in her German class. She wasn't upset, but I wrote a note to the teacher asking her to talk to the boys. Apparently she read the note, her eyebrows shot up and she took it straight to the Head of Year. Might just be me, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal, I just wanted it nipped in the bud. Is it more serious than I thought?

OP posts:

Macarena · 23/09/2009 00:26

When the name-calling can be classed as racist, then yes, definitely serious.
If the teacher wasn't to act upon it, there could be serious repercussions for the school.
Glad your dd was okay about it though.

Original poster

Mmmmcoffee · 23/09/2009 00:33

Hmm. I didn't know nazi could be classed as racist?

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 23/09/2009 00:36

ofcourse its serious!
glad your dd wsnt upset by it.

Macarena · 23/09/2009 14:12

I would say so Mmmmcoffee

AMumInScotland · 23/09/2009 14:28

If they're calling her a Nazi (which is an insult) because she speaks German well, then yes it's racist. Because they're effectively saying "All German-speaking people are Nazis"

Original poster

Mmmmcoffee · 23/09/2009 15:50

Thanks MuminScotland, seems like I had the wrong attitude - I really didn't think it was racist. Well hopefully I'll find out what happened when she gets in from school today. I hope they don't go making a mountain out of a molehill.

OP posts:

bruffin · 23/09/2009 18:06

Shouldn't matter if it's racist or not,any name calling is not nice and should be taken seriously.

Original poster

Mmmmcoffee · 23/09/2009 18:23

Ok,well she came home and apparently the teacher took the two boys out of class today for a few minutes, when they came back in they came right up to DD and apologised. She said they looked a bit shameful. Hopefully that's the matter closed now.

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HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/09/2009 18:26

I think it is very important to stamp down at once on such things. It's great that your daughter wasn't bothered by it, but by not stopping it, the teachers give the message that it's ok, which it is not, and these kids will eventually find someone who is not able to shrug it off.

So teacher did the right thing, imo.

SolidGoldBrass · 23/09/2009 18:30

Well, up to a point. A certain amount of general name-calling is pretty much universal (though racist abuse is more problematic obviously). However, the current trend towards teaching DC that being called a 'poopoo face' is a Major Incident requiring intervention from parents, counselling, school meeting etc, is not good as the more you teach DC that running bleating to Authority for everything is the way to handle life, the more wusses and inadequates you are breeding.

BertieBotts · 23/09/2009 18:33

Yes name-calling is serious and can damage self-esteem badly, especially when it's related to a character trait of the victim.

For example a group of kids used to follow me around at school and say "Rather!" in a posh voice because I was more well-spoken than they were But I still hate my voice now, and I probably wouldn't have thought about it if it wasn't for that I didn't feel that bothered by it at the time but now realise the effect it had.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/09/2009 18:33

I see what you mean, but I think it's more important to teach children that it is unacceptable to name-call.

"Sorry Hecate, you have not been successful in this job application."

"you POOPOO FACE!!!"

You can't go round name-calling and the sooner they learn that, the better.

Original poster

Mmmmcoffee · 23/09/2009 20:35

Well in the note I gave the teacher, I did say that some amount of teasing and name-calling is to be expected in children of this age, but that I found that particular word to be unacceptable and offensive.

I'm hoping I didn't come across as a mum who'll be up the school every 5 minutes because someone called my little darling a rude name. Sticks and stones, you know.

OP posts:

SolidGoldBrass · 23/09/2009 22:46

I think it's a matter of intervening when it's persistent ie bullying rather than kids having a brief loss of temper. After all, plenty of adults make scathing remarks and witty put-downs to people who have annoyed them and that isn't necessarily an arrestable offence, either. Let's not forget that sometimes someone deserves to be called an unpleasant name, because they have done something unpleasant - or just been thoroughly annoying.

deaddei · 27/09/2009 16:48

(not stalking you Hecate honestly!)
Persistent name calling is wearing and tedious- sometimes all it takes is the "victim" to tell the person they'd rather not be called that- it's getting boring etc.
I agree with Solid Gold brass - children do tend to tar every bit of banter as bullying, which devalues proper bullying incidents.

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 18:54

yes yes and yes..as a child who was called names continuly at junior and senior school, i hated school and did not do too well. Name calling can be as bad as physical bullying especially if its constant and prolonged. My son is being bullied and im having trouble trying to get the school to recognize this and they say my son is being aggressive, well yes if he is being bullied then he may get aggressive..i know i did..if you say something to a child enough you actually start to believe it..sad but true..i speak from experience

ToccataAndFudge · 23/02/2010 19:06

well I was bullied pyshically and name calling/verbally for almost my entire school life.

I remember one or two specific incidents that involved physical bullying but not much of it really...........but what really affected me was the name calling, the taunting, the teasing. That hurt more, and affected me for much longer. No it wasn't the same people ever day, it was different people, (but still mostly every day), and yes they were allowed to get away with it because it was "just banter".

Problem was that nearly 13yrs of "banter" left me with no confidence and low self esteem and still haunts me at times today depending on the situation I'm in.

shonaspurtle · 23/02/2010 19:10

We gave our school friend the nickname Natsy (her name was Natasha) when about 7 or 8. Her mum told my mum and I was given a dreadful row.

Slightly unfair as we were completely unconscious about any offence (I did know about the Nazis but thought it was pronounced Nazzi)

Anyway, yes it's completely unacceptable and they need to know that. I think the school should take it seriously.

shonaspurtle · 23/02/2010 19:11

Read the thread properly now. Sounds like the teacher dealt with it well.

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 19:55

ToccataAndFudge i totally empathise with you. It really isnt sticks and stones, names can hurt and really damage a child.

griffiths · 23/08/2010 09:51

Yes it is racism, and the boys should be in serious trouble for this. This sort of name calling happens all the time and the kids doing it don?t realize the damage of what they are saying. They also might not understand that it is racism therefore reporting this strait to the head is the way forward. Making sure he understands your anger about the racism in his school. The boys need a serious talk to about the things they say and the damage of it.

highlandspringerdog · 25/08/2010 14:30

Yes it is serious and you are SO LUCKY the teacher dealt with it so well and so quickly. Reading some of the other threads on here it seems children are suffering constantly at the hands of bullies and parents are having to get down on their knees and beg for effective action from schools.

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