dd1 is being bullied and she refuses to tell the teacher :-(

[nailpolish]

its a long story
the other girls in her class are calling her names and ignoring her when she goes to play with the crowd at playtime
dd1 reacts by shouting "you are horrible" and then storming off
the girls then tell the teacher my dd is being mean to them
i spoke to the teacher this morning as dd1 told me everything last night
i said "she is reacting in that way because the other girls are calling her names"
the teacher then gave my dd into trouble for not coming to her instead
yes she should be telling the teacher and i have to remind her ofthis daily

[hurf]

adding to my message. Also raise your childs self-esteem, everyday tell her how proud you are of her, as this tends to sway of people bullying, higher her self esteem the better it will become. And as another messenger said go straight to the head teacher if these things dont work, your child needs to feel secure at school its her right and yours as a parent.good luck.

[nailpolish]

omg i tell her all the time how gorgeous and smart and funny she is. and how proud i am of her

at rainbows one of the other mothers came over and asked me what had been going on. she is a really nice woman and we are quite good friends so i just told her. we had a really good chat and we are going to try to sort things out between us. her dd has been in trouble in other ways apart from this and i feel sorry for her a bit.

we see eye to eye on parenting stuff so that is a relief.

dd got on ok at rainbows than k goodness

she has already started saying she doesnt want to go to school tomorrow and i have been dreading that but im sure itll be ok in the morning

thanks to all who are concerned

[nailpolish]

she tried tae kwon do or whatever its called at school and didnt like it
i might mention it to her again tho as that was about a year ago
thanks
she went to school fine this morning after initailly saying she felt sick and didnt want to go
but she stormed off in a huff when i started to try to persuade her to go
when she does tha t i just leave her to have a think and she appeared inher uniform 5 mins later

sigh

[GooseyLoosey]

Ds had been a victim of similar stuff and is always the one who gets into trouble as he is large and loud (and gentle and kind - but they don't see that).

Ds (5) had to learn that if he retalliates, he is seen as agressive so we talked about the comments saying more about the children concerned that they do about him. They are also looking for a reaction and the more he appeared hurt, the more they will do it.

Now if a child says to him "You're not coming to my party" (or similar), ds will (hopefully) respond "Is that supposed to bother me?" and walk off. The other children can repeat this verbatim to a teacher, but there is nothing which ds ahs said which is horrible.

[humantoo]

Dear nailpolish, I really sympathise with your situation. I came onto mumsnet this afternoon because my DD is being badly treated at school, so I know just how worrying it can be. That said: 'teachers often ahve their favourites dont they
usually they pretty ones' REALLY? I am a teacher too! Some of us are parents as well as teachers you know. While I don't defend anything the teacher may have done, PLEASE don't make sweeping statements like this! Nor have I 'spoken to an adult as if they were 5.' One bad apple and all that.
P.S. I have two DDs too and have NEVER wished for them to be anything other than they are!