Last few days of year 6 and ds is still being bullied and I feel awful...

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

this year has been awful for ds but I did not realise how bad until tonight. He fell out with a strong character from the class a few years ago this gradually led to him involving others so now a group of three strong characters have set on him daily. This has included comments, looks and accidental nudges. Ds is vulnerable as he has learning difficulties amd they know this. They stick together to lie so it looks like ds is making things up, is confused or has mis read the situation. This one character has bullied others previously and the two friends he hangs around with could easily be targets for bullying too. The worse thing is ds has been isolated from the whole year group. Whenever he plays with someone the bullies tell them not to play with Ds. when I asked if he told the teacher he said "no because it will only annoy her and she will shout at everyone. Plus she might stop us from going on the school trip". Apparently they have been following him around the playground. Ds doesn't understand why no one in his year likes him as he feels he is a nice boy and hasn't done anything wrong. He has his leavers assembly tommorrow, leavers BBQ fri and a school trip Monday which I'm worried about especially if he is allowed to go off on his own. I don't know what to do as he wants to go to school because it's his last few days but he absolutely has no friends thanks to these bullies. The girls in his class seem more sympathetic to him it the boys will want to stay away from him.

Just to add I have been in to see the teacher previously as I thought it was just one or two characters and had hoped if ds kept away they would too. When he comes home most nights he doesn't want to talk about his day so I don't always know what is going on or if any things happened. I only did tonight because his lil brother saw them following him and told the teacher.

Hi I didn't want to read and run - I've had similar - it takes a lot to build up a bullied child - my DD doesn't have and special needs - so I imagine it's a lot harder for your DS

Are any of this bunch going to his secondary school?

oh gosh, it's awful knowing your child is being bullied isn't it. I'm so sorry for what your DS is going through. Is he involved in any clubs or activities out of school? It might be good to have something else to concentrate on over the summer to build his confidence so that when he goes up to secondary school he can make new friends.

Poor ds. How did the assembly and bbq go? I wouldn't make him go to the school trip if he doesn't want to. Do something fun with him instead. At this stage the school are unlikely to be too bothered about attendance and there are so many private schools on holiday that one more kid not in uniform at a park etc won't draw attention. If there is nothing else happening this week that he would find fun then you could deregister him even. A bit of a statement maybe but if the school hasn't addressed the issues and he is unhappy then a week won't make much difference to his education.

Assembly and BBQ seemed to ok but what I noticed was that ds was very much ignored by his peer group. Apart from joining in at football which he normally hates he would run alongside somebody or a group but he seemed invisable to them. I felt so sad for ds. He seemed to accept it and was ok as no one was being directly mean to him. However today at the trip it seemed a disaster. Ds was isolated having to sit next to the teacher on the coach, no one to share a ride with again a teacher volunteering. He was very tired and emotional when he got back but said he didn't want to go to school because he over heard the bullies saying they were going to hurt him tomorrow or the next day plus he has no friends because they have turned everyone against him. Ds has special needs anyhow but I've noticed at his judo club he isn't disliked but just not favourite when it comes to choosing partners plus he tends to steer towards the popular children He isn't very academic at all and people take the micky because of this. His self esteem is at a low time low. Also to add I've booked him in in a summer school at his new secondary for a week but I'm having second thoughts as maybe now is not the right time.

My experience of secondary school is children vote with their feet!

The over confident bully children are quickly found out and the kids don't want to be around them

Lots of children including my DD and her friends have stood up for kids being bullied in the corridors

They have befriended a younger girl who has SN - dislikes groups - but she will sit with DD and just enjoy their chatter without joining in -

DD friend stood up to a group of boys bullying a younger boy )brave on her own) because it was the right thing to do - and they backed down

Please send him to high school give him a head start on summer school and make friends in a smaller group

Can't you just keep him off and treat him? Do something really nice and laugh at the others having to be in school?

Yes he is staying off. I just not sure how to tackle it with the school I feel they have failed my son in not being aware or in tune with what's going on. And now his last days are ruined.

There must be someone you can go higher to to make a complaint. Sorry it's been like this fir you and your boy - horrible to deal with. Breaks your heart - hope high school will be a new start for him.

It's hard to fix in the short term - it sounds like you are doing the right things. Assure him that life won't always be like this and try to find as many things outside of school that he can enjoy.

Good luck!