How do you handle teenage banter/bullying when they are so sensitive?

[hocusprecocious]

I have 2 DS; eldest is 14, youngest is 12. DS1 has a very close group of friends, about 5 and they pretty much stay together in school and out. Tonight my DH told me that DS had come home in tears because one of the group had been teasing him that he had a "small willy"
The boy in question is at least 6 ft and has already started to change his voice, the others are in various stages but my DS is still very much a boy. I'm only 5'4 and my DH is 5'8 so chances are, he wont be huge in height but i also think his growth hasn't yet taken hold. From what I can gather, non of the boys are very confrontational but when one laughs, the others follow!
I don't want this to become an issue and my DH has already spoken to the Mum of one of the boys (altho not the one doing the deed)
I just wanted to ask what your experiences were at this difficult age as I dont want to go in guns blazing but i feel so sorry for my son who already has his height and puberty to challenge!

I should also have said that DS2 is already showing signs that he will be taller than DS1because we have been tracking their heights from 1 year, which i guess fuels DS1's insecurities?

Hi not really had exact experience but I have ds who is nearly 16 and at 14 was really small compared to his peers, over the last year he has shot up and is now 5ft 11 with size 11 feet and at 14 was about 6 inches shorter, I am not a great believer in short parents having short kids as I have friends where the dad is 5ft 8 and their boys are both about 6ft 4 so do not worry too much about his height at this stage, with regard to the banter, I hate that word to me it means kids you can say things and it is not bullying, help your son to laugh if off if he can and ignore it as to be honest all willy's are different sizes but all manage the same job lol. I think 14 is a really sensitive age anyway, I know it was for my ds and I remember there being lots of banter aaaah amongst his friends which has simply disappeared as they have got older. And yes one laughs and they all do, it is just a way of fitting in I think, but not nice for the guy on the end of it. Just laugh with them, they won't expect that. Good luck

Thanks for your kind words, my DS received a text from the boy in question apologising and saying he hadn't realised it had gone so far which was lovely. My DS said he was hesitant in saying its ok as he still felt a bit upset, i suggested that it was ok to say he was pleased he'd apologised but would need to build up the trust again, so hopefully all a storm in a teacup but pleased it's been sorted and that he has friends who are big enough to say sorry