Extended Breastfeeding discussion thread

[Flighttattendant]

Hi all, just tried to respond on the previous thread here

and found it was too big, so thought it might be worth starting another in case anyone else wants to continue the discussion.

In response to Cakes, two points.

First: the entire topic of weaning and milk is quite a complex one, moreso if you start involving dummies. I've never had an issue with an older child having either a bottle or a dummy - indeed my first child had a bottle of milk as his replacement for breastfeeding from about 18 months, and continued to do so, preferring milk to 'proper' food till he was about 3. I'm not certain why - perhaps my dodgy cooking played a part - but there were efforts made to encourage eating and he didn't really want it.

I've been massively flamed on here for allowing him a bottle at pre school, and a dummy which he still has on occasion at 7 (though will not in public - his choice). I see NOTHING wrong with that...he is insecure sometimes and it comforts him.

Anyway...enough about poor old ds1.

The other point was about the word 'Boobie' which you suggested some EBFers 'teach' their child to say as opposed to 'milk'. I am baffled by this assertion.

There are as many names for it as there are women who breastfeed, short term or not - I shan't go into the variety of words I have heard used but I really, really have never heard of a policy of EBFers to use the word 'Boobie'. And really, I don't see why they shouldn't - but please do try and remember that kids often choose their own word, it isn't usually a case of the parent deciding what they call the breast.

For what it's worth, ds2 is limited in his language still but my breasts are known, somewhat inspiringly, as 'This one milky' and 'That one milky'

On that note I will abandon this thing to the mercies of anyone else as crazed determined interested as I am in the whole topic...back later.

LOL

just me then

Someone has started another one on AIBU

Ah thankyou

I looked earlier but the problem is I have aibu hidden!

Will wander over and see what is kicking off going on.

DS says "mi mi"
DD says aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh nnnnnnnnnn

Which one should I post on are we leaving one for the other I think people on AIBU would probably be happier if we posted on here.

Dd is 18 months and calls mine "mores" although recently she seems to have realised that other people have breasts too and is making a distinction between "mores" and "gulk" (milk/drink).

it wasn't until i discovered mumsnet that i realized other women ebf. i found this incredibly reassuring. like many others i honestly do not judge anyone - sadly not being perfect myself, but for me the issue here is acceptability for women to feel comfortable with whatever decision they have made or rather fallen into. women and children have a right to breastfeed and be fed wherever they want to and at whatever age they are happy with.

however the only women i know who ebf did so in secret and it wasn't common knowledge in their social groups.

feeding your baby or child is NOT shameful, and should not be seen to be so. every women should feel confident about bfing in public and every women should feel confident about ffing in public.

i think that only the latter is true, and this is the crux of the issue imho.

dd1 called bf "more" as in "one more minute"
dd2 called bf "bo"
I didn't TEACH them these words. They made them up.
dd2's once said: I lika chocolate, I lika bo, I lika Charlie and Lola.
SO that's clear then.

I did find it a little odd around 12months when DD started walking. I honislty never though I'd be feeding a toddler when I started. But we've only just stoped at just under 3 years. Mainly due to DD loseing intersted and me encouraing it due to being PG with no2. Can't wait to do it again .

DD calls it 'mommy milk' but she does know that it come's from my boob's.

baskingseals - I do think your right I stoped feeding DD in pubilc when she was around 16 months, and a lot of the people I know quit well didn't relise I was still feeding her at 2years untill a friend had her baby and it came up in converstion. I did feel that it was mainly due to me feeling like I'd be juged negatively if I did feed her in pubilic. Which I know feel is wrong as why should I be ashamed of providing for my childs needs.

The thing about this phrase 'extended' bfing is that in practice you're not actually extending it, are you? You're continuing what you've always done, which is why regardless of the age/ size/ walking and speaking ability of your child, it looks and feels perfectly normal.

Yes to me it is just breastfeeding...nothing special or funny about it. The extended bit is totally relative to how long the majority of people in the UK do it for.

I prefer to think of it as fullterm BF (and I prefer to use the word nursing)

My sil bf her dd for over 2 years and I was quite surprised as at the time I had never come across anyone who bf their child for longer than a few months. Now I don't even really think of 2 years as being extended bfing as lots of my friends and acquaintances have bf for that long.

I hardly bf my two, couldn't get the hang of it with either, I bf ds1 for about 3 weeks and ds2 for 6 weeks and on both occasions it was supplemented with formula. Ds1 had a bottle until he was 14 months (only for 1 feed a day from 9 months) but he had a dummy until he was 3. Yesterday I saw a boy in school uniform pushing his scooter whilst having a bottle I was a little taken aback at first I think I would have been less surprised if his mother had still been bfing him. It hardly matters in the grand scheme of things does it? My comfort was to take an old raggedy doll to bed and twiddle my hair whilst having a cuddle with the doll. I moved in with dh when I was 18 and I did bring the doll but she was relegated to the bottom of the bed as dh found it a bit creepy.

Lots of children have different methods of soothing themselves whether its breast, bottle or dummy. I was sad when ds gave up his dummy at 3 as when he had his dummy he would always come up to me to have a snuggle on my lap, he had to stop having the dummy as it was causing damage to his teeth. I don't really understand why extended bfing is such an issue for some people.

My 2 year old DD asks for "boo" and I assume she is trying to say boob... usually saying "mummy, mummy, boo boo booo!". She still seems to feed a lot - although I dont know anyone else who is ebf (my sister did/does but she lives in another country so I am not aware of how often her DS still fed at this age) so am not sure what the 'norm' (is there such a thing?) is? Don't want to hijack the thread but if anyone who has bf a 2yo could give me an idea of how often they would feed in a day/night that would really be great!?

Mine call it boo or booa,even though I don't use the word boobs often,it was dd1's word and now its DD2's."I love your lovely silky booa mummy".very sweet.

cheezcurl My DD is 21 months so not quite two but still feeds a lot (or so it seems to me anyway!) - for about an hour on and off from 6 am onwards, then I prise her off so I can shower, then she quite often demands it post-shower as well (put her off if I can), then she has a feed post-breakfast which can be very short or go on for blimmin' ages , then she'll ask every 3-4 hours minimum through the day (usually quick feeds and often while my mum looks on disapprovingly but there is no distracting her). Oh, feed her before her nap too. We are usually busier in the afternoons so can cut down then but she usually has a big feed before bed (again I generally have to prise her off). At the moment I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor and she shares a bed with DH in an attempt at night weaning, so she usually gets to 3 am then wakes up, I get into bed and it feels as though she feeds on and off all night. Sorry that was so long It is less now than it was a few weeks ago though!

I do still feed in public too - bit nervous about it but otherwise I'd never leave the house.

And we have committed the cardinal sin of calling it boobie, though she generally says beebee or "this side beebee" and "other side beebee"

My Dd says 'boobie' and has done for several years now. I didn't teach her that and I have no idea where she got it from. I wouldn't be embarrassed to feed her in public if she asked, but I'd find her demands embarrassing! 'I want boobie!!!!' hmmmmm...she's 3.6 btw. I do feed her at family or friends homes and nothing is ever said.

DS came up the word 'mambo' when he was about 14 months old - no idea where he got it from! - and is still a mambo addict at 3.3. Friends in the know find it hilarious when I wear my hoodie with the Mambo logo across the chest

My DD christened mine 'Dubbas', it was one of her random baby babbles 'dub-a-dub-a-dub-a' that gradually became associated specifically with my breasts at about 15 months. DS (9 months) now understands it as a specific term to breast feed, along with 'have some dub', 'dubs', 'dubbing' etc. I've appreciated having a non breast-specific term, which means if they ask for it out and about it isn't immediately embarrassing in company (not that I was that embarrassed as I fed DD until 2y4m in public)

My DD(2.10) calls it noo noo. She is obsessed with my noo noo, and often covers them up if I am wearing a low cut top saying 'noo noo cold, keep noo noo warm'.

I also have a 10m DD, who I feed in public, but not older DD.

I try to only feed older DD 2 or 3 times a day, she does ask alot, but as i am feeding DD2 also, i can get very sick of being fed off.

This can cause a few tantrums and DP often says it would be kinder to just stop altogether than constantly reject her.

I am not sure its for the best though. Its really hard, I don't want to stop but I cant handle her feeding off me so much.

DS (14mo) doesn't have a word yet but has taken to sticking his head down my cleavage, waggling it side to side and blowing raspberries much to DH's amusement. He has also been known to try and lift my (38F sized) norks out of my top, 2 handed and with limited success. His other trick is to slap me gamely on the boob and then point at one or other and say a!a!a!.

If after picking up on such (unsubtle) hints I suggest he might want some milk, he gets all excited and chuckles loudly but if milk is not them immediately forthcoming he tosses a wobbler.

These are making me

I love these stories!

And I am of those of you who have breastfeeding friends... I don't know why, none of my friends are funny about me doing it (dd is only 11mo), but it'd be nice to have other people around doing it too. I don't know anyone else (apart from my mum! lucky me! ) who fed beyond two or three months, let alone beyond a year. And sometimes I want to have a moan about bf (or more the lack of sleep that accompanies it in my case), but I think my friends would just say I should stop.