PLEASE HELP ME. 2 wk old screaming all day with wind. Bfing but don;t think I can carry on.

[nickytwotimes]

DH has taken him out in the car to try to settle him.
I have tried all sorts but he is totally inconsolable and screams for most of the time.

I don't want to stop feeding him but I can't take any more. I have had latch checked by dec ent councellor and is fine. No pain, good gain in weight.

I am utterly desperate. I cannot listen to him screaming anymore. I have spent the last 3 dAYs in tears. I waNT TO RUN away. I hve older ds who I gave up feeding at 10 day. Wanted to make it work this time but I can;t carry on like this

hi nicky - when you feed him is his head higher than his tummy - this helped my DS swallow smoother sort of - without gulping so much. it meant less wind i think.

keep going - this WILL pass, and you will be left with a bonny bouncing baby . It really will pass. It will.

That IS hard, your family keen for you to give up . Can you talk to them. Because they are not supporting you in this and you really need it. You said it would break your heart this is something that you really want to do! It WILL pass, and you and your baby will come to an understanding. BFing was SOOOO difficult at first, I wept, but it does pass, and it becomes delightful. Its annoying at times - I am not saying it is totally idyllic, but you might love it in the end.

hth

Not sure that giving him formula would help Nicky....I thought they often swallowed more air that way.

I think you mentioned that you had
a quick birth. When I visited a cranial osteopath for wind problems (no where near as bad as your situation) she suggested that sometimes a fast birth can mean that everything in the stomach gets a bit 'squashed'. I had a very fast birth too and the cranial osteopathy did help. Might be worth a go?

I also found popping him on to his back and bringing knees up to chest. This usually did the trick beautifully.

I really don't think it's formula that you need here. The way your family can support you best is to give you an hour to get some fresh air or a bath while they look after ds.

Did the helplines give you any advice?

I think it would help you to get out with the baby in a sling, take a little walk, and try to relax a bit. Don't feel a bit embarrassed -- this is nobody's business to comment upon. A sling can be a great place for an over-stimulated baby to relax and get away from it all, close to you.

I found it helped very gassy and screechy DD3 to do the high shoulder burping mentioned previously, and also to lay her on her back as Crikeybadger says, bringing her knees up to her chest, plus tummy massage. Baby massage in general worked wonders for her -- I was always amazed at the amount of unsuspected gas that she produced while rubbing her little back during a massage. I also second the advice to have something like a large pillow to support the baby and keep her as straightened out as possible, not folded in two sideways, during feedings, plus reduce the strain on your shoulders and arms. And yes, no more caffeine.

Formula is a drastic move here, with only a small chance that things would change. A shortsighted idea to magic the crying away?

Try to sit your DH and family down and tell them ffing is off the table and they need to support you in what you want to do, not add to your distress here.

Sending you both a big hug and hope things are improving.

My DS had horrendous wind as well until about age 12 weeks or so when he improved. He is still windy / refluxy but is far better at dealing with it as am I. Have come to the conclusion that's just the way he is.

Here's what we tried (it all helped to some degree):-

Get him checked by your GP just in case something obvious has been missed.

Cranial osteopathy. Certainly helped.

Infacol every feed double dose

If I had curry powder, onions and tomato it really triggered the wind (and still does) - he is now 24 weeks. Have also switched to decaf tea and coffee

Bicycling his legs and singing at the same time (made him calm down).

Baby massage.

Going for a walk in the buggy - used to calm both of us down and the screaming is more removed!

Getting someone else to take him while you have a bit of time out out of earshot.

Meeting up with other friends with babies the same age.

This will probably sound nuts but I wrote ITS ONLY A PHASE on a piece of paper and looked at it every time I felt I couldn't cope and it made me feel better.

sympathy. poor you. if it is wind/colic, just to say that nothing worked for us. cranial, burping, infacol etc. but it stopped at 12 weeks. colic is common from week 1 to week 12. classic starting and stopping times. i know that sounds like an age away, but when you really think about it, 3 months is not long. not that you ever wnat a baby to be in pain, but ...its not an endless tunnel. HTH's

DH just taken him out int he car afteranother unsettled day and screeching evening.
All I have thought about all day is whether to give up feeding or not. It is so so hard when it is like this but I would be so sad to give up.
I am already on antidepressants (been on them for years). My mental health is taking a battering though.
I feel like it's a lose/lose situation tbh.

Just read most of the thread and wanted to reply to your latest update. I have had two refluxy DSs (the second of whom is now 4 months and still dealing with it). Whether it turns out to be that or not, I know some of the difficulties you are having and how sometimes I wish it just didn't happen to me (twice). I am still limping on with breast feeding now and it is a day to day thing at times. I tried formula last week in desperation, he took one sip and spat it out! I guess the only positive about giving bottles is that someone else can share the frustrating feeds and resulting screaming.

I hope you have a better night and encourgae you to take one day at a time and try to fit in some cuddles with DH for reassurance. I found we never had time for this even as one was always holding DS! This doesn't add much for you really I'm afraid, but just wanted to say you are not alone and you will get through it.

Thanks.
Yes, I realised today that dh and I have not had a hug or cuddle for weeks as one of us is alwyas holding ds2 and we are in seperate rooms as at least on of us should get some sleep.
It is SO hard.

my ds did this i thought it was wind, it was me taking lactulose advised by hv, and then also he was intolerant to milk, so i gave up milk and it got better

My DH and I got into bed at the same time for the first time in 4 months last week, which is why I said about having a hug. All we can do from here is empathise and send you are best wishes. Personally, from a completely uneducated 'just a mum of 2' perspective, I don't think it is normal for babies to cry like this and I wish I had been more proactive in sorting out DS1's reflux. DS2's is much worse but because I knew what I was dealing with and reacted quickly to get it sorted, he is much happier and we are a much happier family as a result.

Keep looking for an answer but also remember that it is for a finite amount of time - if it's colic then the worst will be over in a few weeks. Reflux could be a while longer but can be managed well. Needing comforting - again not that long. Believe it or not, this awfully difficult time will fade in your memory. I haven't forgotten what we went through with DS1, but at 13 months we started trying again because I was in a position to do so - getting enough sleep and enjoying my boy.

Keep posting if it helps. Sending unmumsnetty hugs..

Hi Nicky,

Sorry to hear things have been so rough.

Defo worth going down the non- dairy route as Kalo and some others have mentioned.

My friend went through the mill with her second child,same things going on with him as yours.Hospital etc insisted it was colic.She gave up bf and went onto ff and he was worse than ever.He never settled at all and she ended up with pnd.
Finally one hv told her to try him on lactose free formula and bingo ! What a turn around! HAPPY contented baby and one very happy mum.It finally came to light that if they had realised when she was still bf that he was lactose intolerant ,she could have given up on dairy products and carried on with the feeding and the result would have been the same.
She is actually in hospital today being induced with dc3 & preparing to bf again and give up dairy if need be.
Worth a thought .....
Good luck.
xxxx

hi guys.

having bloody awfuk day again after reasonable daym though dreadful evenong, yesterday.
HV just been, says worst colic she has seen in ages.

I can;t do the dary thing - I am veggie and would have to go vegan and the hassle is just far, far too much for me to contamplate atm. I haven;t got the energy to cook meals from scratch. Tbh, I haven't got the energy to evenheat stuff up and wouldn't be eating anything if dh didn't make it for me. If he is lactose intolerant I'd rather put him on lactose free formula. Can he be tested doyou know?

hi nicky, hope you are getting on ok, please do suggest to gp that it may be reflux, gaviscon can work straight away if that is the case and will not harm baby to try. I had to nag about it because the gp didnt believe me, but my goodness they worked immediately, so please consider it if things havent improved xxxx

Nicky - I agree about trying the Gaviscon. My GP prescribed it for DS. It didn't work but we only had to try it for about 2 days and when it had no effect at all, we were at least able to rule it out.

I'm not sure whether they can be tested for lactose/dairy intolerance. My GP was very skeptical about the whole thing (wrongly probably) and I was too exhausted to try and survive for 2 weeks without chocolate and cheese . She did offer to prescribe dairy free formula and said to try it for a couple of days (whilst expressing to keep up supply just in case) but this was when DS was about 8 weeks so my supply was a bit more established. I was considering doing it but that's when he started to improve a bit so didn't bother in the end. Again, I believe 2-3 days should rule it out, if that's the problem.

We also tried cranial - again - it didn't have any effect - but it made me feel like I was doing something. Our osteopath told us that if there was no difference within 3 sessions, then it wasn't worth carrying on

I'm convinced in our case he was mainly overtired and I tried to feed him every time he cried (i.e. all the sodding time) and he was actually taking too much milk which was making him grumpy because his digestive system couldn't cope with it. Will yours take a dummy ? I kept perservering and he started to take it at around 5 weeks which was another break through. We brought the buggy in the house and I kept putting him down in eat at least every two hours and rocked him to sleep (he never went longer that 45 minutes but he did have lots of short naps and that made a massive difference)

Sorry for the massive post but I really feel for you. Its so so difficult

I alwasy like to throw in Reflux at this juncture.....three out of four of mine had it, only one diagnosed the other two were dismissed by Gps.

Reflux signals...

Arched back and massive discomfort after feeding, vomiting, frequent feeding, screaming and pain and won't latch, won't be put down at all.....

We went to stage two of reflux meds and they had a little effect(probably stopped dc4 from being thrown through a window) and I would second that switching to ff is really not the way to go with a vomity baby, may just mean you're endlessly making bottles.

I can fully empathise as I had four dcs 6 and under!!

well, all of you nwho suggested reflux were spot on!
spent weekend in hospital. ds was so much better on rinitidine and gaviscon - total transformation. however, not quite so good since we got home so a bit worried.
gp was useless - suggested bottles - for a baby who is putting on a pound a week ffs! i stood my ground and he sent us to a and e. diagnosed almost immediately.
poor soul been in pain all this time
thanks forv all the help - you lot are fab!

Ah nicky - I am so glad he has got his diagnosis. Its obviously not easy having a baby with reflux but at least you know what it is and with the right meds and support, life will become so much easier

Oh i am so pleased for you, i hope it all settles now now xxxxx