PLEASE HELP ME. 2 wk old screaming all day with wind. Bfing but don;t think I can carry on.

[nickytwotimes]

DH has taken him out in the car to try to settle him.
I have tried all sorts but he is totally inconsolable and screams for most of the time.

I don't want to stop feeding him but I can't take any more. I have had latch checked by dec ent councellor and is fine. No pain, good gain in weight.

I am utterly desperate. I cannot listen to him screaming anymore. I have spent the last 3 dAYs in tears. I waNT TO RUN away. I hve older ds who I gave up feeding at 10 day. Wanted to make it work this time but I can;t carry on like this

gingerkirsty - I had forgotten about the sitting up facing you feeding - worked really well for my DS. He sort of sat up on my lap with his legs down to my side.

I find if DS2 has a big burp he needs to get out the most effective way is to lie him on his back on my lap, put my right hand on his upper thighs and my left behind his back and then very slowly bend him into a sitting position.

He usually lets out a wall shaking burp if I do this.

might be worth giving cranial osteopathy a try- either for the wind or some other possible pain associated with the birth.

hth

reminds me of DS1 who had reflux. Just something to bear in mind. Once he started on infant gaviscon he was a different baby. DS1 was also a farty baby.

Here is a spanner....
It could be reflux.
Does he poke his tongue out as if he is saying bluergh? A lot, with spit?
Is he very dribbly? Does he suck on a dummy madly? Is he more settled in an upright position?
My DD had terrible reflux, it is not about the sick and some babies are not sick with relux. They get acid rising and it burns. Hence the wriggling and screaming. My DD lost her voice at 6 weeks, it took that long to realise there was more than just constant screaming. She was pukey too tho.

The docs at hosp were not particularly nice, saying you can't bring a baby in just for screaming a lot.
Turns out she needed medicine called ranitidene and domperidone and she stayed on them till she was a year, when she finally stood and walked, it stopped.

Have a read up on gastro oesaphagal reflux.
If you suspect this, you will need a referall from your GP to the paediatrician at the hospital to get these medicines. Do not be fobbed off with infant gaviscon, it does nothing to stop the acid and is useless for the breastfed baby.

Good luck.

I'm glad that Beccas has mentioned reflux too. Infant Gaviscon was enough for DS1 but lots of babies do need stronger medication such as ranitidene to supress the production of the acid.
Cottage cheese style posseting is another sign of reflux ( the acid basically curdles the milk)

Just wondered if the HV had checked your DS for oral thrush - can can get them yanking off the boob after latching on initially.

A tip I was given to help winding was to sit the baby on knee, support them with hand on tummy/fingers under chin supporting head, other hand on the back. Keep them bolt upright not slumped over. While patting firmly on back tip slightly forward then to the right, the back and to the left and back to the front, basically rotating them by pivoting on their bottom. Hope that makes sense.

You could also try winding over your shoulder, but get the baby very high up so your shoulder is pressing up and into the tummy. This worked for us sometimes.

Echo tiger in the tree it is a very comforting time.

Tummy time is also very important and beneficial for digestion.

My DD2 was incredibly difficult to comfort right from day one. Turned out she had reflux but the only thing that improved it really was time, not a lot of help for you right now.

Get him out in the pushchair if you feel like you are going mad or strao on a sling and get some fresh air. You are 100% doing the right thing continuing to BF, I know it's hard right now. Keep speaking to your HV and don't be afraid to ask for support.

My firsy baby was like this...long time ago now. I was at my wits end, and happened upon a baby massage class whilst trying to track down my HV.

It really helped, not just with the endless, endless screaming, but with the bonding too. We "made friends".

I have a 5 week old so feel your pain.

I don't know if it is really wind but my last 3 babies have all been really fussy in the early days doing the latching on and off thing you describe.

Is he doing it more in the early evening say from about 5-10pm? Newborns have a classic period of being unsettled around this time.

have you tried carrying him in a sling, when DS is unsettled, I put him in his Moby Wrap (recommended by MN) and he settles so quick, I think at this age they are so young, with immature tummies and guts and they still think they are part of you and are only happy if they are close to you.

Reflux may be the problem as well???

Around 6 weeks it does start to get better, promise, these first 6 weeks can be hell, take it one day even an hour at time.

Plesae, please listen to Tiktok - back there on the first page! She is a very experienced BF counsellor and has heard this problem a million times. Why are we all so convinced it is wind or reflux?

I too was in this position, convinced that my DD had wind and reflux, ended up medicating her up to the eyeballs (infacol, calpol, gaviscon) for months and it made absolutely sod all difference. However, she did stop crying when I stopped trying to put her down by herself all the time. I really regret having given her all that medicine - she developed a ton of allergies and asthma at 20 months and I later heard there was a connection with calpol.

Please consider the other options - there could be a hundred different things troubling your LO - but as a society we seem to be tummy-obsessed when it comes to babies!

nicky - you need to really, really talk to someone who will consider all the options.

The temptation is to 'pathologise' normal behaviour - 2 weeks is simply too soon to be diagnosing gut problems like reflux, IMO, and even thrush. Babies scream for a reason - there is something wrong, for sure. But it might be time to chill - you say you have 'tried all sorts', but in two weeks, nothing can have been given time to work. Would you perhaps think about simply chilling with him, relaxing and letting him set the pace for a few days? Accepting his need to be close all the time and getting help with that, rather than exploring physical reasons for his distress?

Being utterly desperate and in tears yourself is something the baby will be affected by - your own tears and distress need to be listened to and acknowledged, and you need some TLC yourself. When this happens, and tensions go, often babies relax and become happier themselves.

But battling with a 2 week old baby to feed less - that's just not gonna work

Cranial Osteopathy really helped with my DD.She would cry for hours on end,it frayed my nerves so badly.
After 2 treatments she was a different baby,very calm.

Hi Nicky

Poor you I found infacol no good for my dd (who just didn't like to burp at all!) but gripe water did the trick.

I also stopped caffinated drinks and acidic fruit - raspberries, strawberries and grapes were the worst offenders. Also some fruit juices, paricularly orange juice.

I do wish I'd tried cranial osteopathy with dd...

Please please also listen to tiktok, she talks mega sense! It's so easy to get tied up in knots.

Good luck x

Oh my DS was like this so you have my sympathies. He had colic and we gave him infacol and the rest and over time that colic faded, but for what it's worth I wish I'd just banned my daily cup of tea instead and I'll do that with a future littley. Kellymom has something about the time it takes a baby to break down caffiene and I was truly shocked in adults it has a halflife of three hours but in a newborn baby it has a halflife of five days!! I think my son's colic may well have been him tripping out on caffiene which can cause stomach cramps.
As for trapped wind. We did find some great techniques - first up make sure you're rubbing low down enough, we found rubbing his back around his pelvis and just above was much more productive than rubbing around the ribs etc. And another technique hold babba tummy to tummy with yourself, climb a flight of stairs, go down again. Burps a plenty! Good luck.

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

Ds does seeem to want to be on me oall the time and I amlettinghim, but it is difficult to even get to the loo or get something to eat.
He has been slightly better today, but I have spent all day crying. I am finding it suffocating. I don't know how to cope with feeling this way. Atm I am jealous of everyone who doesn;t have a newborn baby. I ache all over with tiredness. Dh is worried about me and wnts me to express or give up. The thought of giving up makes me so sad though.

Expressing will just add another thing that you have to do.

Go to bed, take baby with you. Can your DH look after you with tea and food etc? If he has to work get him to prep a bunch of things for you so you can just grab them when you get hungry. Go have a loooooong hot shower whilst DH looks after baby, he might cry a bit but that is OK. Go for a walk around the block to clear your head. Go to the loo when you need to, it really doesn't matter if he cries a bit while you are doing necessary things for yourself. Sometimes they have to wait a bit, it isn't the same as leaving them to cry, it is family life.

There is nothing absolutely nothing more important at the moment than getting as much rest as you can and snuggling with baby and looking after you as well as bubs. You also sound like you maybe need to talk to your MW/HV?

Don't give up, it gets better really it does. DS was permanently attached to me for the first few weeks. Now at 11 weeks it is sooooo much easier, BF really becomes the easy option if you can just get through those first few weeks.

I was introduced to weak fennel tea over here (Germany) when DS2 was rigid with wind pain. All methods of winding never worked and he was in agony.

I would make fennel tea (weak for him) and when cooled to barely warm would let him drink from a bottle.

It was incredible. You could actually feel the bubbles burst if you rested your hand on his stomach, and his strained body relaxed in my arms after a few sips.

It is not a milk replacement, but having it close by after feeding saved us and him from endless agony.

stopping dairy worked for my ds3 - it takes 2 weeks to get out of your system so no harm doing that now as well

Hi Nicky

Nothing to add to everyone elses brilliant advice, but just to say I was incredibly dismissive of homeopathic remedies until I had DS3 who had colic. I had some tablets prescribed and they did the trick immediately - I still didn't believe it, so didn't bother to get any new ones when I ran out - well, I certainly believed in them then!

Anyway, my point it, they won't do any harm so definitely worth a try.

Good luck and hope you manage to get some sleep. Just try to remember that this will not last forever, every day is like a lifetime with a newborn, which means that they change very quickly. This time next week things will be completely different, I hope, and that's no time at all in the grand scheme of things.

Poor you - newborn feeding nightmares. Though I second the fennel tea suggestion.

Holland and Barratt - sweeten it with honey.

My daughter never seemed to have wind - that may be co-incidence, but I drank at least 4-5 mugs of fennel tea every day at the beginning.

x

Great advice from Morloth

You're bound to feel shattered Nicky- you only gave birth two weeks ago. So cut yourself some slack and don't do anything except sleep, eat and feed your baby for a couple of days.

Maybe having a chat with someone on one of the breast feeding helplines would be a good idea.

hey nicky - big hugs its effing hard when they are like this. all i can advise is knock the caffiene right on the head - it nothers thier liver and makes them fuss like mad at the breast. also once you have withdrawn from the caffiene i promise you will feel better and stronger to deal with your dc. caffiene is a false aid - it doesn't wake you up it just eases the caffiene withdrawl from the night before. i almost never feel crap and groggy firts thing in the am anymore.

also - are you getting enough food/rest? i am no way an expert but i had a phase of this with dd and i got so desp i rang nhs direct. a lovely nurse rang me back and said if i didnt have a break then things were never going to improve. i found it extrmemly hard to be parted from a screaming dd (about 2 months at the time) but i relented eventaully and dh took her out in the pram and i was ordered to have a bath and a meal and straight to bed. it was painful but things did improve and its a process dh and i had to go through now and then until dd was past the magic 3 month mark.

i hope it calms down and bf works out but you know what if it doesn't and you go on to ff don't feel bad xx

Nicky - Do you have a wrap or sling? I have a 2 week old DD who wants to be held constantly, initially I thought it was wind but no end of trying to wind her seemed to work, so I put her in the wrap first thing in the morning and can then get on with things with DD1 and get things done. I have come to accept that it has been and will be a while before I eat with 2 hands/pee alone/ sit down with an empty lap again and since just accepting these things and taking DD hour at a time - feeding when she needs and carring her upright but snuggled in close have made it all a whole lot easier. Can DH have him for a couple of hours in the evenings after a feed for you to get some sleep? Please listen to Tiktok - her advice kept me feeding my first DD for 18months.

Nicky it does feel totally overwhelming to have a tiny baby who cries so much. You must be absolutely at the end of your tether.

Is there a way you can just retreat to the bedroom with your baby? Do nothing at all. Sleep when the baby sleeps. Keep the baby changing stuff in the bedroom. Have your meals brought to you by DH. Just feed and sleep, feed and sleep for a couple of days.

Your hormones are probably everywhere too which is adding to the deep emotional low you are feeling. I think you need to take as much pressure off yourself as possible. Very un-Mumsnet hugs for you.

Hi Nicky - unMN hugs here too. IIRC we were posting together in desperation re hyperemesis back in October and now I'm about a week ahead of you in the newborn struggle. IMHO I think an HG pregnancy (I've had one and two that weren't) takes a much bigger toll on you physically and emotionally so you must look after yourself at the moment and where possible go to bed. There's lots of good advice here. It might be wind and it might not. I am guilty of trying to wind my new DD after feeds and she gets all stressed out because she doesn't need winding and wants back on the boob (again). Your DS's crying could wind/colic/reflux/thrush or just normal unsettled newborn-ness. Get him properly assessed without trying to guess the diagnosis. My other DD cried for 6 hours every evening and the only thing that worked at all was cuddling her so I got a sling and did skin to skin and fed in bed whenever I could. I had a 3 year old demolition expert at the time so it wasn't easy! A feed box for him full of little new toys and sticker books (Usborne did a farm series) kept him entertained when I was feeding his sister. Food wise - fruit salad, ham and toast is a easy to prepare healthy food for your toddler - get DH to help get that ready when he goes to work. Tesco delivery is necessary and include easy food for you too. Contract out housework - the only stuff I did was washing really as the rest can wait.
Don't beat yourself up - this will pass.
My newborn DD has an unsettled day every 2-3 days and I just accept this and feed her and look forward to the next more settled day. I read here on MN that our job with a newborn is to feed the baby and not go mad. That's about all I can manage right now and is excellent advice.