PLEASE HELP ME. 2 wk old screaming all day with wind. Bfing but don;t think I can carry on.

[nickytwotimes]

DH has taken him out in the car to try to settle him.
I have tried all sorts but he is totally inconsolable and screams for most of the time.

I don't want to stop feeding him but I can't take any more. I have had latch checked by dec ent councellor and is fine. No pain, good gain in weight.

I am utterly desperate. I cannot listen to him screaming anymore. I have spent the last 3 dAYs in tears. I waNT TO RUN away. I hve older ds who I gave up feeding at 10 day. Wanted to make it work this time but I can;t carry on like this

have you tried a warm bath? i found this worked wonders on my dd's windy tummy. If he is bringing his legs up (froggy style) when he cries, a warm bath might help it pass.

if you havnt tried it, i'd certainly recommend it. don't give up!

xxx

my ds used to let out burps if i pressed his tummy on his left under his tummy (so my right hand when holding him on my left shouler) so kind of under his ribcage and up. i did this while tipping to the right (me) so it tilted his tummy while gently but firmly applying pressure.

if you look at the shape of a baby's tummy here, wind can get stuck above the level of the lower esophageal sphincter, in the top bit of the stomach, and you need to tilt it so the air bubble can escape through the opening. DS used to sometimes do the most enormous burbs when i did this .

and baby massage used to help for farting, and even pooing.

some newborns really have isshoooos with digestion !

(this is totally amateur advice btw but worth a shot!)

Keeping my DDs upright literally all the time (in a carrier) seemed to help. I perfected a weird feeding hold where they dangled down my torso and eventually between my legs. Also propped them up dramatically at night. Who said fed babies don't get wind, eh?

nicky - it really doesn't sound as though giving up bf will help your problems at all.

I would suggest arranging a session of cranial osteopathy, and giving up dairy yourself. This may make no difference, but if milk intolerance is the problem then it will take a couple of weeks to clear your system and remedy it, so the sooner you start the better.
I know that tiktok thinks that it is a bit early to diagnose stuff like this, but I suffered for 16 weeks with dd screaming round the clock due to it, and managed to pick it up in ds at 3 weeks, which made life so much more bearable!

If you don't already have one then I would also yourself a sling and just put the baby in that when you want the toilet or whatever. Keeps your hands free and keeps baby far happier. nothing wrong with a newborn wanting to be attached to you in the early weeks.

Congratulations btw - you are still on the 'waiting list' on our ante-natal thread.

Just wanted to say someone mentioned sweetening fennel tea with honey. I found fennel tea to be really good for my DS, but please don't give honey to a baby under 12 months as it can possibly be dangerous to them.

I would second the advice on slings, getting him checked for reflux (DS was diagnosed at 13 days old, made a huge difference when he was on infant Gaviscon), cranial osteopathy, baby massage, homeopathy and considering cutting out dairy and wheat in your diet. That's a load of things to look at at the same time, so don't try to do everything, just see what seems feasible and try to sleep every second you can get.

Just to clarify - I am not saying that babies cannot be diagnosed with reflux early on, or that it is always unhelpful to do so. I am saying that early on, it's sensible to check for the very simplest things, assuming normality and in this case, this would mean at least a few days of relaxed, chilling, going with the flow, lowering expectations of sleep and so on, and seeing if this made a difference, before looking at medication.

Hi another baby here that had reflux, nobody listened to my problems just fobbed me off! I did some research on the net, told my doctor she had reflux!!!! (dont recommend this obviously!) They gave me gaviscon powders. My baby was on them for a year. If they are going to work they work instantly, so it is always worth just trying a sachet for babies, they will not hurt. Just a thought for something else to try xxxxx Dont be afraid to nag for help! Sadly some midwives are not always helpful

Thaks for the messages everyone.
It is helpful to know others have been through the same.
Today has been absolutely awful. He has been screaming on and off since 4 am and I am at my wits end.
Bfing counsellor was here today which helped, but things no better.
I tried the days in bed but found it made things worse - I felt even more isolated and he was unsettled and grumpy.
I honestly would be more than happy to carry and feed all day and night, that is not the problem. It's the fussing and screaming that wears me down. Nothing I do makes him happy. I wish we hadn't had another baby atm.
I've given up caffeine, tried the useless crystals, block-fed, fed upright, etc. Nothing makes any difference. I don;t know what to do anymore.
My hv is useless.
I feel totally stranded in this house as I can;t get out the house for him screaming and I am too embarassed to go anywhere when he is like that.
Today I am finding it very hard to carry on.

Hmm... Back to the GP Nicky?

I'm so sorry you are having such a nightmarish time .

I am not sure screaming for hours is within the bounds of "normal" behaviour, you really do need to get him to the docs.

Just try to remember that FF won't make this go away, it will just add another phaff.

Wish there was more I could do!

Nicky - everything you are saying sounds exactly as I was a couple of months ago with DS . It was awful. I just hated the fact he seemed so fecking miserable the whole time. I was knackered (hideous PGP/SDP and a long labour) and I genuinely regretted having him for a while.

I used Colief (just dropped it into his mouth because I didn't have the energy to faff with expressing and GP had said it would be ok) and it helped a bit. He also had a bottle of formula at 11 pm. I could then feed him all evening and get to bed for 9pm so I could at least get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep in and leave DH to cope with it for a few hours. I went back to fully b'fing from 7 weeks when things calmed down again. It saved my sanity. I also tried cranial osteopathy.

I'm not sure if anything worked. I think it was just him being a newborn with a crappy digestive system. From 7 weeks in things started getting better. He is 6 months today and is positively smiley and happy.

I know it seems like hell on earth but it will pass. Do whatever you need to do in the meantime.

Some un mnetty hugs coming your way ((((()))))

How awful for you Nicky, you really sound terribly down.

I would get down to the GPs asap and really push for some help.

Hope you get this sorted out soon, don't give up though.

I''s been a while since I was stuck with a screaming baby so what I did is a distant memory and reading up the thread I see you have had some great advice and support. I'm so sorry you are not feeling well and hope you start to feel a little more normal soon.

I had to post though as I spotted a recommendation to give fennel tea with honey. You should never give honey to a child under 12 months old due to the risk of botulism. Sorry of someone else has already advised this - I've been skim reading since reading that recommendation.

I think the fennel tea is for the mum, not the baby ...

Ha ha! I have looked down the thread and you could well be right there Tilly

Thaks again for the messages.
Today has been better. Hv was here yesterday and doesn't think there is anything particularly 'wrong' other than crappy digestive system as you say tilly. It sounds like your wee one was just like mine so I am glad to hear that he is a happy wee thing now and that things got better after 7 weeks.
I have been using colief. DOn;t know if it is working or not yet though. It is a faff mixing it with expressed milk first but don;t mind if it works.
Most feeds today he has fussed a fair bit, but no major screaming yet.
My first baby was pretty easy so I guess I am taking this hard.

Glad to hear today has been better. DD was a pretty chilled baby as well so its a definite shock (especially when everyone tells you how much easier second babies are )

How much does he sleep during the day ? I think a lot of my DS's problem was that he struggled to sleep (possibly because his tummy was a bit painful/sore) so the problem was exaggerated by overtiredness. Getting out and about in the buggy for most of the day and one of those musical swings in the house really helped as well

Congratulations and well done for continuing to bf Nicky.

Hope the improvement continues.

Sorry to say the improvement has not continued.
Almost every feed is a nightmare atm as he fusses, pulls and twists around in discomfort. I am getting very sore. I have ditched the colief as it has made sod all difference and is a total faff and makes things even more difficult having to express and mess around with drops before every feed.
I have spent the morning on the phone sobbing to complete strangers - NCT, BfN, even NHS 24.
I can't believe that this is normal behavior. People think having a baby who is fussy inthe evenign sis hard - ha! I wish he was only fussy inthe evenings.
Wrt tiredness, yes, he does get over-tired after a long windy/uncomfortable session, definitely. His sling helps sometimes, sometimes not. Or the car. But only for a wee while than back to screaming.
I feel really desperate tbh. I am at the stage where I wish we hadn't bothered. I am fidning it hard to love him, but I feel sos orry for him too.

nicky you sound cream crackered with it all! i don't know what to say except keep going .

as for advice

don't let him on if he is pulling and twisting - you will get even more sore.

i know he is crying alot but i think maybe you need some tlc yourself. have you got any oil - have a bath and massage your feet - if you have any essential oils, ylang ylang is good for feeling down, as is frankincense. rose otto helped me no end! it sounds like he will cry whatever you do, so it might be worth leaving him for ten minutes, putting your ipod in and having a good cry / sing / dance or something. or just get someone else to hold him while you listen to ipod / cry / sing / run round the garden?!... singing apparently can REALLY work. anything basically to get out of your mind for a bit!

I don't know what else to suggest except that he will probably get better overnight at some point - most people i know with babies like this, it suddenly got better without them really doing anything.

hth

Oh god I really feel for you Nicky.

I've been recommended this book by a friend with a similar sounding situation

here

I wish I could come and have him for you for an hour. Is anyone doing that for you? You really really need a break.

Oh, you poor things!

All I can recommend is gripe water, if it's wind. I also used to jiggle and bounce one of my sons up and down, up and down, up and down around the flat.

I had a terrible time DD but now DS has been a bit more relaxed. Here are a few things that helped with the second one:

• Young babies also get easily overtired and are fussy to feed if they are tired. Try first to make him sleep and feed afterwards when he wakes up more relaxed.

• Also re overtiredness, carrying him with a sling is better than holding him with your arms.it also helps you to get on with your needs (even going to the loo is possible) or go for a walk and get some fresh air.

• For colic, using a small sized warm water bottle can help to release some wind or just hold your hand in his tummy to give some warmth.

• Continue doing what you decided to do to sooth him even if the screaming escalates it will calm down later.

I hope it gets better.

Hi again.
Just had another squirmy feed.
Dh was home fir a while and i honestly cannot believe the wind that came out of ds. tonnes. I think he must be swallowing it somehow? I am being careful with ihs latching on but not any difference as he is on and off so much.
I am very tem[ted to give him formula but it would break my heart too. DH wants me to give it up as he is so fed up of me being miserable. He doesn't really get that I will be even more miserable if i give up bfibg.
I am getting help from family, but they are all keen fir me to give up the feeding so sometimes not all that helpful...
thanks for the continued supporrt, it really helps.

The following is fairly rare, but I'll flag it up just in case. DS 1 was constantly crying and colicky from birth. Terribly gassy, projectile poo (the record was 8 feet!), never sleeping more than an hour straight. When we tried formula he projectile vomitted. When we eventually tried solids, he projectile vomitted and nearly fainted. He was eventually diagnosed with something called FPIES. I became rice, dairy, soya and egg free for the duration of breast feeding, which did seem to help, then had to avoid feeding him these things in solids. He had totally outgrown it before he was two, and eats anything now. None of my other three had it.