Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

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No, not sore Lisa, I was just on the phone and bracing myself...

I think that a four year old is way too old to be still on the breast.
Never in a million would i let this happen.

Lisa, I said decades ago meaning two or more

I'm sorry to hear your friend has had a rough start to breastfeeding her baby. Do you know who she's been advised to stop by? Is she happy to stop? Because often it comes as a relief to women, especially when breastfeeding is painful. And especially when the person telling them to stop is perceived to know what they're talking about because they're a midwife or health visitor.

It is possible to continue breastfeeding with cracked, bruised or bleeding nipples and for them to heal and for you to continue to breastfeed succesfully and without pain. But it takes guidance from somebody who is trained to support breastfeeding.

A 4 year old might be too old to be on your breast Lisa. But if another mother is comfortable with it, why should anybody else have an opinion?

Lisa, with all due respect, until you are a mother of a four-year-old you cannot know how you would feel about that. I am mum to a 15mo and I still don't know how I would feel if he still wants to nurse when he's 4!

But since he won't be four tomorrow, we'll take each day as it comes.

Never say never

It was her midwife who told her.
She was put off when that happened as it hadnt happened with the other 3.
This is her last child as she had to have a hystorectomy after he was born by c/section so as you can imagine, she would have like to have nurtured him for as long as she could.
It is a shame.

Is this thread reminding anyone else of Groundhog Day?

Maybe I should go start a thread saying "I would never eat cantelope (hate it), therefore it is morally wrong."

If she stopped pretty recently (or maybe even not, as she's successfully breastfed 3 kids before) she can go back to bf. She'd need good support from a bfc, but it should be possible.

Lisa, that's a crying shame. How old is the baby now? If not very old, she may very well be able to breastfeed - but she will need expert help (and her midwife doesn't sound very helpful, tbh).

I am sorry if i sound offensive but i really really dont think i could at that age besides my other half wouldent allow it to happen.
Besides, i would hate for them to be teased and mocked about it.

lol NQC. Cantaloupe.. no problem with it...... but if you're talking honeydew, then we have a problem. Know what I mean, eh? eh?

Your other half wouldn't allow it to happen? Huh? He owns your breasts?

To be honest, it has put her off, scared her as this has not happened b4. It is a crying shame, i really feel for her. Her little one is 3 months now.

The funny thing is, Lisa2, nobody here has said "everyone should bf to 4". I weaned my DS1 at 18 months. I might wean DS2 to 4, who knows? But I'm certainly not suggesting anyone should be made to breastfeed at all, never mind until 4.

Of course he doesent own my breasts, he doesent own me at all. But he would play an equally important role being the father and we would bring the child up together, side by side. His opinion would be as important to me.

I remember my goregous 3 year old ds2 feeding on one side, wiping his mouth with his sleeve, looking up at me in almost drunken bliss and saying 'Ugga Shide'. (Other side). It made me laugh.

I also remember a time when dd1 was four, she fell really badly in the swing park and screamed and screamed. It was a nasty bruise.
I cuddled her ... she just arched her back and screamed, I tried to calm her with words .... no luck. Eventually I offered her the breast (she hadn't had any for a few months but I was still feeding her brother) and she had a lovely long suck and was soothed and calm in no time.

I remember sitting on the bench with her, relieved and deeply contented, feeling so grateful to breastmilk and in awe of its power. I also felt very proud of myself to be able to sooth my daughter this way.

Breast milk is such incredible stuff. I wouldn't pretend to understand it but I could never feel squeamish about such a beautiful thing.

Funnily enough though, I DO feel icky about cow milk.

I think the use of the word "allow" was what surprised people, Lisa.

As for the child being teased and mocked, who by? Nobody else need know - it's not like they have to wear a T-shirt saying "I still breastfeed"!

Ok, he would not like it, not allow!!!
The child could say something at school later on in life as this is normal to them etc. It could always come up in the future.

Sure. But there are always things like that. DS1 could tell his school-friends he's never had a McDonalds, or that the tv in our house only goes on when you're ill.

And of course if a child isn't comfortable bf any more, well then they can stop.

I know lots of children who have breastfed past two, quite a few to three and four - they've not been teased. The more it's done, the less "weird" it seems. And since it's not harmful to anyone - and in fact is beneficial, both health and emotion-wise, why not do it?

Also children have a very finely-tuned sense of what's likely to get them teased and they often don't talk about it if it is likely to!

I'm not just talking about breastfeeding there, just to clarify!

spidermama - that's a fab moment to be able to remember!

I think that Lisa has brought up a very valid point. For all you that have breastfed for a long time (bearing in mind that some have said they don't like the term "extended") what did or do if it's current, your husbands think about it?

I was discussing this with my dh last night, and he was horrified at the idea (of breastfeeding a 4 yr old). Were your husbands happy with your choice? Did it have an effect on sex? After all I know that some have said that our society over sexualises breasts, but the nipple is a very erogenous area.

I'm just curious, so don't feel you have to answer! I didn't go over 6 months with my two, and sex was a big issue during that time (and I think some of that probably did relate to breastfeeding)