Breastfeeding till the age of 4 - what do you think?

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

Given that the only bra which approaches fitting me is a 40K, I doubt they can be any more hanging off me than they already are!

Anyone can do what they like IMHO, its none of my business.

Having lived in a very poor 3rd world country where it was very normal (and in fact necessary) to feed as long as possible nobody raised an eyebrow at a 5 yo or older feeding and therefore you get used to it. Its just unusual here because of the appalling BF rates (oh yes, and the constant sexualisation of breasts)

Breastfeeding is NOT just about feeding a child, it is an entire parenting STYLE. I have found that those who do not like the parenting STYLE associated with breastfeeding, do not like breastfeeding. They also do not approve of breastfeeding beyond a certain age.

However, having lived in lots of different countries and knowing lots of different cultures, physical intimacy with a child (and let's face it breastfeeding is the most physical aspect of parneting) is only a hang up for the British.

In other countries whether you breastfeed beyond a certain age or not may be a topic of discussion, but the term "yukky" which I have read on threads like this would only be used by people who have a problem with their bodies and a hang up about how much or how little physical contact you have with a child.

No sex please we are British ! No breastfeeding in public please, we are British ! No breastfeeding beyond xxx months please we are British ! Yukk !!

I breast fed my DD til she was 14 months - though not out of choice she just simply refused a bottle. It made me feel very trapped and as she was, in my eyes a toddler, it didn't feel right to me at all, I would dread having to feed her. It also made intimacy difficult with DP afterwards too as I felt my breasts were just feeding machines at first.

I agree that people shouldn't feel ashamed of it if thats their choice, but it just makes me cringe a bit.

kissalot - thanks you are just another one who has proved my point !

Its only that I associate breast feeding with babies, not children. I used to b/feed in public, I've got no problem with that or anyone else for that matter. I would not think 'uurgh you sicko' if I saw a woman feeding a 2 year old, just personally its just not my bag baby.

tell me more about this style I want to know if I fit it...

bobbybob - most women who breasfeed do it because they really, really enjoy it and beacuse they are fully aware of the benefits to the child (both physical and emotional).

Therefore it is a parenting choice or "style" of parenting. A woman who says I find breastfeeding "yukky" or even "yukky" beyond a certain age clearly does not enjoy or approve of this style of parenting.

I wasn't using the term "style" to mean "fashion" - are you taking the piss ?

Oh I don't know whether women do it because they really really enjoy it beemokha. Just because it's good for the kids and once you've overcome the difficulties, it's simply far easier and more convenient than bottles.

uh, dd is nearly 2 1/2 y and won't say I "really really" enjoy bf. But as mentioned before somewhere, she just gradually became older and older. Just seems illogicall to bf one day and completely stop the next day.
As regards to British, well just come back from the continent and people over there thought it "strange" I was still bf dd.

My parenting style is path-of-least-resistance, and BF is totally compatible.

Definitely not the organic cloth nappy brigade, in case that's what was inferred.

Not taking the piss at all - I just was making sure that you weren't suggesting that I knit my own lentils.

I also don't breastfeed because I love it. Sometimes I do enjoy it, sometimes I actually quite resent it, but I do it because I can, because of the benefits to my children and because it is so incredibly convenient.

Knitting lentils - sounds like hard work although I gather some BF mothers do that sort of thing too...personally I buy tins of organic lentils from Tescos

But I still think that BF is a parental choice for most people.

I think that it is up to the mother really allthough i couldn't see my self feeding my DD who is 15 months old now...... i only breastfed her for 2 weeks when she was born but then had to stop (health problems) she was perfectly happy going from breast to bottle allthough i did express for a while and she is totally healthy now. If a mother wants to feed their child for that amount of time its totally up to them and they shouldn't have people judging them.

lailag - you are right I too have met Europeans and North Americans who don't like the idea of BF. But the "we don't want too much physical conatct with our child" is peculiarly British.

Yes and you can have BF "lactivista" credentials like me and still not be an earth-mother tree-hugging lentil-eating sort.

In fact you could be the public school educated, designer clothes wearing, City sort and still enjoy BF.

BF mothers fall into all sorts of social categories. I think what they all have is lots of common sense.

I have met many, many esp. middle-class British men who say they were never "hugged" by their mothers when they were small children. My ex- Oxford-educated boyfriend is one of them.

Needless to say he had huge complexes and hang ups with physical initimacy as an adult.

I think most other non-Anglo Saxon cultures would find lack of physical contact with a child quite shocking.

There certainly is an attitude here about physical contact with kids. I remember they took a photo of a man surrounded by a girls football team. They asked people what the photo showed. French people said, "an involved father". English people said "a pedophile".

NQC - yes quite !

That is why most British men will avoid physical contact with a child that is not their own.

Go to Italy and men who are total strangers will pick up you child and kiss him. And no one will accuse him being a pervert for doing so !

I think it is up to the individual!

Tried ds last night (now 13 months,s/weaned at about 11mths)to see what he would do. Looked from boob to me,then back again,utterly perplexed and then blew a rasberry.
Obviously the memory has faded.

but also
At least I can put my subconscious feeling that I may have encouraged him to stop to early to rest.

Like others here,b/fed not because Iam a complete earth mother but because Iknew it was the right thing to do.

I wanted to breast feed as long as possible but they all gave up themselves around 9/10 months! they had huge appitites and ate loads so obviously didnt need me anymore!!!

I would rather have knit lentils than breastfed any day, given a free choice. sadly the latter appears to be better for the baby than the former.

I tucked away my nipples for the last time ever a month ago as dd3 turned 14 months. such a relief....

am I strange?!! I loved it!! loved pregnancy too

dont answer the am I strange bit!!!! Obviously am by the reactions I get to my posts on here!!!