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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Please come and tell me I'm doing well and shouldn't give up yet

80 replies

Moosy · 21/12/2009 12:00

DD3 is 15 days old and is still 4.5oz below her birth weight, she's only put on 1oz in 10 days.

When she was 9 days old I got a tummy bug and have been drained and exhausted since, I always struggle to keep weight on and lost a LOT of weight in the first 10 days but have levelled out a bit now. I'm trying to eat and drink lots but haven't completely got my appetite back after being ill, I'm trying to eat constantly all day.

MW came today and was very nice, she told me to wake her every 3 hours (she feeds every 2-6 hours if left to her own devices) and push more and more feeds in to get her weight up and boost my supply. I've also started taking Fenugreek.

I'm determined to carry on BFing her having failed to bf DDs 1&2 but it's so draining and every time she doesn't settle I feel like I'm failing her and I'm SO tempted to pack it in and crack open the formula.

Please tell me I'm doing ok and should carry on trying, DH is being very supportive as he knows how much it means to me, but being a man he can't truely understand!

OP posts:

Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 12:01

Oops, that was a bit of an essay

Should also mention that the MW's coming back to weigh her again on wednesday to see if she's gained any weight. If she hasn't, she said I'll need to think about 'alternatives' but stopped talking when my bottom lip started to wobble.

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StealthPolarBear · 21/12/2009 12:09

you are doing really well
I had a tiny vomiting bug when DD was about 6 weeks, I can't imagine coping with it when she was tiny.
Fenugreek can't hurt but the main thing is just to feed, as I'm sure you know. Can you spend the day in bed with her and just feed her every time she'll take a feed? Maybe not the easiest thing with 2 other DCs!!
If it gets really hard with her being unsettled, can your DH just take her out and dance around with her for a bit - I've always found DH can settle them better when they won't feed for whatever reason.
Is he off with you by the way or at work?
Even if you do end up topping up, as long as you get advice to maintain your supply you should be able to stop the top ups once everything is back to normal

StealthPolarBear · 21/12/2009 12:10

What I meant about topping up was it's not all or nothing - it won't be the end of breastfeeding!

tiktok · 21/12/2009 12:22

Moosy, good your midwife is supporting and visiting.

3 hrly feeding is not v often for a young baby esp one who needs to gain weight....you can feed her a lot more often than this, not so much by waking but by offering her feeds whenever and wherever, when she is awake. Not settling does not mean much - some babies like to snuggle in and snooze skin to skin with mum, and resist being put in a crib or cot.

Another good thing to do is to offer frequently from both sides (at least) - this is what drives supply and increases calorie intake in the baby.

Hope this helps.

Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 12:46

Grr, just typed long reply and lost it.

Tiktok, what do you mean by doing both sides, the MW said to stay on side 1 air as long as possible to get more fatty hind milk, do I do that then offer side 2 too?

Also she has reflux so has gaviscon with every feed and it says not to give it more than 6 times a day so not sure how to get round that if feeding very often?

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tiktok · 21/12/2009 13:13

Moosy, your midwife is one of many who has misinterpreted the research on foremilk/hindmilk.

It is really important when there is a possible issue with the baby's weight/growth to offer both breasts at every feed - sticking to one breast only reduces the baby's intake and reduces the amount of milk made...and far too many HCPs give this totally erronoeous and potentially harmful advice to deliberately feed one side only.

Babies need to stay on side one until they show by their behaviour they have had sufficient on that side. Then, they can have a little break and the second side should be offered (the baby may or may not take it, but it should at least be offered, and a baby whose weight is causing concern should be encouraged to take it).

Can't comment on the gaviscon but it is does not make sense to feed only 6 times a day in order to comply with the medication...most babies of this age feed far more often than this.

You can get info on foremilk/hindmilk here:

www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/foremilk-hindmilk.html

www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/milkproduction.html

Feeding on one side only may have been the cause of your baby's slow weight gain....I do wish HCPs didn't advise this. It's ok for some, but for others, it ends up meaning the baby has less than he needs and the mother makes less milk as a result

duvet · 21/12/2009 13:43

Hey sounds like you are doing really well, hopefully reading those websites will inspire yyou and encourage that you are doing okay too. They did me second time round.

With dd1 when she lost a weight around 15 weeks, I had similar advice from HV and because I lacked confidence and starting giving formula which soon ended up in me quitting bf altogether which I really regretted. wish I knew then what I knew then. Good on you,enjoy bf and feel proud of yourself.

rubyslippedonastraymincepie · 21/12/2009 13:49

Tik Tok has given very sound advice

with my DD she has up to 3, and maybe even 4 sides during her awake time - sometimes she has a break of up to an hour before she has side 2, but i offer her the breast as much as possible during her awake time or as and when she starts rooting (she is a hungry girl so she feeds a lot)

my supply is doing really well - DD is now 11 weeks and gaining around 4 - 8 oz per week

keep going - if you can when your partner is around, go to bed and feed laying down. I did this last weekend with DD as she was just wanting to feed all the time - the skin to skin really helped and we both had a doze as well

Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 14:32

I think I struggle with the very frequent feeding as all 3 of my babies have had reflux and have been more comfortable/less sick when feeding less often, so 2-3 hourly feeding is totally alien to me.

DD3 is now having a feed with no gavscon just to see how she gets on. If it's ok then I'll just give it every other feed.

Thanks for the support, it's just what I needed

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Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 19:57

She's fed every 2 hours this afternoon and I've managed to have a snooze on between then I ate a full meal for the first tome in 6 days!

Woke her up after 3.5 hours and feeding her now, I'll set my alarm for the night feeds too and hope it does some good.....

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TheTwelveDAISYofChristmas · 21/12/2009 22:01

you are doing brilliantly under difficult circumstance

I had food poisoning when my DS was 9 months and lord knows that was hard enough; when you are still establishing your supply it must be a nightmare

Can't add anything to what tiktok has said already, other than is it possible for you to have a bit of a babymoon and take to bed with her for a day or two? difficult with two older DC though and at this time of year as well.....I found that snuggling on the sofa with babs under my dressing gown, with my older two either side of me and watching films together helped keep everyone happy!

butadream · 21/12/2009 22:05

You are doing extremely well, agree with the above advice, hope you are able to relax together and feel better soon.

Are your iron levels OK if you are feeling so tired - might be worth trying floradix?

whomovedmychocolate · 21/12/2009 22:09

Don't give up! Try anything you can, but don't give up. There will be something in all the advice you have received which will help you get through this difficult bit. But you will get there. Just keep on going.

Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 22:13

I had my irontested on day 5 and it was 11 so not too bad and I'm still taking ferrous sulphate and drinking spatone as I do often get anaemic.

I set my alarm after the 7.30 feed but she woke up after 2 hours anyway I'm trying to get as much sleep as possible so went straight to bed as soon as the older oneswent to bed at 7.

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DitaVonCheese · 21/12/2009 22:17

Just wanted to say that you're doing brilliantly!

And glad you are feeling/eating better too

Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 22:17

Thanks wmmc, at the moment I'm plodding from feed to feed and just aiming for the weigh in on Wednesday morning.

I feel like I only have to manage until then as thenthe mw will either say "yes it's working carry on" or "no this is no good, do something else" either way it's an endpoint to aim for and I'm clinging to it!

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Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 22:19

I am eating much better now, today I have eaten Normally, tomorrow I will try for Extra.

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whomovedmychocolate · 21/12/2009 22:20

Are you co-sleeping? You need to get as much rest as possible and this can help encourage nursing as well as obviously meaning you get more kip too.

Hang in there. While it's hard at the start and it is for (almost) all of us, it does get easier. I found it terribly hard with DD but persevered and I'm so glad I did.

Weight gain at this age can turn around in a matter of days so hang onto that - DS was on the 25th percentile at birth, dropped to the 15th by day 10 and then shot up to the 99th within six weeks - and this was with no feeding issues at all!!!

humptynumpty · 21/12/2009 22:22

Hi Moosy
Please don't feel pressurised into giving up if you don't want to.
It really upsets me all this pressure to gain weight and stick to a particular line in the bloody red book chart thing.
Please listen to tiktoks advice, not saying your mw doesn't know her stuff but as long as your baby is doing ok i think taht's the main thing. You are doing a great job, keep up the good work.

jeni7 · 21/12/2009 22:28

You are doing brilliantly.

Have you tried holding her skin to skin a lot? You can unwrap your baby and take off your own top, and maybe wrap a blanket around you both if it's chilly. Being held next to your naked breast will encourage her to feed, as she will be able to smell the milk.

Breast feeding works on a supply and demand basis, so putting her to the breast as often as you can will help your baby to gain weight.

I found it helpful to think of breastfeeds in terms of courses. So baby feeds for a while, and comes off of her own volition. You can then perhaps wind her, then offer more ie the second course. Then when she's finished that you can have a little break and perhaps change her nappy, then offer more ie the third course. See what I mean?

jeni7 · 21/12/2009 22:34

Also Moosy, a babys weight is just one way of telling how a baby is doing. Is she producing plenty of wet nappies? Is she a good colour? Does she have alert periods (these may be really quite short - she's still very tiny).

Health visitors can often be very hung up on weight charts. All my babies were below the fiftieth percentile. But I'm small and so is their father..

Original poster

Moosy · 21/12/2009 22:40

I'm not co sleeping as I never feel she's safe but I do have her basket on the bed next to me.

I'm not worried about centiles but she's stil 4.5oz below her birth weight at 15 days old and has only gained 1oz in 10 days other than that she seems fine -alert, bright eyed, pink, wet dirty nappies etc, she's surviving ok just not growing!

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Original poster

Moosy · 22/12/2009 01:19

Ok now what do I do? I fed her for an hour from both sides at 9.45-10.45 then she woke at 12.15 so I fed her again for an hour from both sides then both sides again. I'm now empty and getting very sore and she's not going back to sleep, she still looks hungry. If I put her back on she sucks a bit then falls asleep but as soon as she comes off she starts squeaking and rooting again. I don't know what to do

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hobbgoblin · 22/12/2009 01:37

I'm not an expert but have experience of BF 4 babies so will try and help as it's late.

I'd say if she is awake and you are awake and she is rooting, go for it. My DD2 is 5 months now and every few days she will have a real fussy, sucky kind of day and I guess this is what keeps my supply up and her weight gain (not measured since 6 weeks check mind you) okay.

She was like this tonight - she normally sleeps through but I had her attached to me from 7pm until just before midnight tonight except for when I put other DC to bed. She really needed it.

I really think you have to consciously make time for feeding when you are busy with older DC or they just kind of drift and don't always demand a feed. That;s what I find anyhow and I keep tellign myself off!

Original poster

Moosy · 22/12/2009 01:43

But I'm getting so sore and I don't think she's really getting anything out, she seems very frustrated and pulls around. I'm just rocking her now and hoping she'll nod off for a bit so I can too. I need to mend

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