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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Please come and tell me I'm doing well and shouldn't give up yet

80 replies

Moosy · 21/12/2009 12:00

DD3 is 15 days old and is still 4.5oz below her birth weight, she's only put on 1oz in 10 days.

When she was 9 days old I got a tummy bug and have been drained and exhausted since, I always struggle to keep weight on and lost a LOT of weight in the first 10 days but have levelled out a bit now. I'm trying to eat and drink lots but haven't completely got my appetite back after being ill, I'm trying to eat constantly all day.

MW came today and was very nice, she told me to wake her every 3 hours (she feeds every 2-6 hours if left to her own devices) and push more and more feeds in to get her weight up and boost my supply. I've also started taking Fenugreek.

I'm determined to carry on BFing her having failed to bf DDs 1&2 but it's so draining and every time she doesn't settle I feel like I'm failing her and I'm SO tempted to pack it in and crack open the formula.

Please tell me I'm doing ok and should carry on trying, DH is being very supportive as he knows how much it means to me, but being a man he can't truely understand!

OP posts:
Mmmango · 23/12/2009 05:36

hmm, have you seen the "no need to sterilise" thread? A mumsnetter was told by peads not to worry about sterilsing bottles etc for her preemie, just to wash thoroughly in hot soapy water. Might make the syringe less labour intensive. Will look for thread...

Mmmango · 23/12/2009 06:15

here

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 07:06

That's interesting mmmango, I think I might go back to syringing and see if it makes a difference.

Only 2.5 hours till the grand weigh in, will she have grown? Place your bets now!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2009 08:26

I hope she has
What an idiot your MW sounds - if you are topping up, what does she think you'll be topping up?? BREASTMILK.
You are so determined, if she isn't up to her birthweight, please don't let it get you down to the point where you give up if you don't want to.
It sounds as though you'd benefit from getting the latch checked - is that something your MW would be able to do?

StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2009 08:31

The thing I find helps with a poor latch is to pull the baby's body in as close as you can, I tend to find that makes her snuggle her head in too and gets her further on the breast. Just my experience but might be worth a try?

QandA · 23/12/2009 08:57

Have they checked for tongue tie?

You sound like you are doing an amazing job. Hope it goes ok today.

JingleBellsBatmanSmells · 23/12/2009 09:49

Good luck for today! I used to have to shove my nipple into DD's mouth using my finger when she was tiny because she didn't open very wide - probably not the best way, but worked for us and we're still going at 15 months

StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2009 10:04

health visitor sorry, not midwife!

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 10:26

Her latch is much better this morning and I'm being strict with her again, will stick at it.

Well, the mw has been and she has gained..............

TWO OUNCES!!!!!!

OP posts:
hanaflower · 23/12/2009 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2009 10:31

two fingers to your HV!

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 10:34

Indeed, I shall take great pleasure in telling her when she comes next week

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givecarrotsachance · 23/12/2009 10:52

moosy I am so impressed with your commitment and given how things are going, it will be fine in just a few days or a week.

Your HV, as people have said, was absolutely out of order and I would personally make a formal complaint (if you have the energy) as that was an outrageous comment. Sure, she could have carefully talked around it then given you support, not undermined you. Stupid cow.

Anyway I wanted to post because my son had bad reflux and had gaviscon. I gave him the gaviscon in a bottle which was a hassle, but fortunately didn't have any nipple/teat confusion. If you think this is a problem, use a cup as someone has mentioned.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that the Gaviscon stays in their stomach and will mix with the next few feeds so don't worry about it. You will know if it's working as she won't be pucking it all back up. If she's not vomiting (as opposed to posseting) then you could even try to reduce the gaviscon (but you may want to wait until you've settled down so you don't waste any milk).

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 11:13

Well I gave her gaviscon at 3.30 this morning but not with the 6.00 or 9.45 feeds and she's been ok without so far, so I might just give it to her every other or every few feeds. She hasn't been sicky anyway, she was screaming and wriggling after feeds but maybe it will settle down quicker than with DDs 1 and 2.

Thank you for the support everyone, I was this || close to quitting and every post has helped me be more determined. Now that she's grown I know it's been worth the hard work and hopefully as she grows and now I'm feeling healthier it will get easier

OP posts:
Mmmango · 23/12/2009 11:59

SO pleased for you, Moosy, great work!

(And glad to see someone here who knows about gaviscon, too)

givecarrotsachance · 23/12/2009 13:18

Excellent moosy, I'm delighted for you

If she's not throwing up, "just" screaming (and I obviously don't mean "just" like it's not a problem) then you could easily reduce the Gaviscon and see how she reacts without worrying about losing milk which would be good. It's perfectly safe, but it's relatively high in salt so is best to cut down/out when possible. Plus it's a PITA.

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 13:22

Right, so now that problem number one (weight gain) is sorted, how do I go about sorting problem number two?

I woke and fed her just before 10 this morning when the MW was here. MW said she had a good latch and she seemed to feed well while mw was here. After she left, baby got hiccups, then fed ok from the other side but she hasn't settled since. I fed her again (with gaviscon this time) at 12 and she fell sound asleep on me and I thought she would stay asleep in her basket but she's been crying ever since.

At the moment I've left her to cry for a few minutes while I eat my lunch then I guess I'll have to feed her again. How do you get a baby to settle if she doesn't feed to sleep?

OP posts:
givecarrotsachance · 23/12/2009 13:28

She last fed about 1/2 hour ago then? Hope this doesn't sound stupid, but are you sure she needs to sleep and she doesn't want to play/be stimulated?

Have you tried a baby carrier? Some babies just like to be hugged all the time and it means you can get on with stuff while they're in it.

I'm just saying, if she fed 1/2 hour ago, and everything else is checked - nappy, heat/cold, etc, maybe it's nothing to do with feeding?

Are you sleeping her propper up? If you are laying her flat she is likely to be regurgitating stomach acid which will hurt (as she's got reflux). Try propping her up a bit at the head end (everytime she's put down to sleep). You can buy special reflux wedges for this but you don't need them. I used to lift DS's cot about 2" at the head end with books, which worked well.

givecarrotsachance · 23/12/2009 13:29

propper propped

tiktok · 23/12/2009 13:35

moosy - she may not want to settle in a basket/cot at the moment. This is normal She can be held/fed/cuddled as often as she wants at this age.

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 13:36

I've got her propped up and she doesn't sound uncomfortable, she sounds cross.

I hadn't thought that she might want to play, she's only 16 days old so I'd have thought she'd still be in the eat/sleep/eat/sleep phase, maybe not?

I have a sling which she loved the first two times I used it, now she hates it and cries and flails so hard she actually climbs out the top!

She hasn't really slept since I woke her up this morning so she really ought to be tired by now, maybe she's overtired?

Trouble is I'm such a control freak that I have to know WHY she's crying so I can fix it. Aaaaaaargh, why didn't she come with a digital display?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 13:37

Maybe you're right tiktok (you probably are!), perhaps I've been so worried about her weight that I assume all crying is hunger-related.

OP posts:
tiktok · 23/12/2009 13:39

I don't agree she's likely to want to play - not in a stimulating, jigging sort of way, and maybe carrots just meant 'be talked to, sung to' sorta thing....

Just hold her and talk and whisper and sing and offer her a feed, as well

You cannot know every time 'why' a baby cries, but holding and feeding usually fixes it ;)

ruddynorah · 23/12/2009 13:58

you just kind of have to try a few things. try holding her upright against your chest, sort of over your shoulder ish, with her tummy against your heart so she feels the beat. then walk around, maybe talk to her in a very low voice. with ds (4 wks) this calms him down nicely. then once he's calm i offer him a feed. sometimes then he'll nod off and i can pop him in his basket.

sometimes this doesn't work, so i pop him in the sling and get on with housework. sometimes he'll nod off then and he just stays in the sling unyil he wakes up.

sometimes that doesn't work either and i'll prop him up on against his feeding pillow, or lately in his rocker chair. and he'll have a little look around for a few minutes. then i'll try offering a feed, or do the sling.

it's all just trial and error at this stage, getting to know each other. sometimes just moving to a different room can help. or clocing the curtains, or putting the radio on.

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 14:22

Well it turns out that she'd done a sneaky poo (it wasn't there when I checked earlier!). So I changed her and held her and she's now asleep on me.

You'd think I ought to know all this by now, what with her being my third! Poor dd1&2 are being so neglected these days and the house is a tip! I'd forgotten how hard work a newborn is, I want to cry and sleeeeeeep

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