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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Please come and tell me I'm doing well and shouldn't give up yet

80 replies

Moosy · 21/12/2009 12:00

DD3 is 15 days old and is still 4.5oz below her birth weight, she's only put on 1oz in 10 days.

When she was 9 days old I got a tummy bug and have been drained and exhausted since, I always struggle to keep weight on and lost a LOT of weight in the first 10 days but have levelled out a bit now. I'm trying to eat and drink lots but haven't completely got my appetite back after being ill, I'm trying to eat constantly all day.

MW came today and was very nice, she told me to wake her every 3 hours (she feeds every 2-6 hours if left to her own devices) and push more and more feeds in to get her weight up and boost my supply. I've also started taking Fenugreek.

I'm determined to carry on BFing her having failed to bf DDs 1&2 but it's so draining and every time she doesn't settle I feel like I'm failing her and I'm SO tempted to pack it in and crack open the formula.

Please tell me I'm doing ok and should carry on trying, DH is being very supportive as he knows how much it means to me, but being a man he can't truely understand!

OP posts:
Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 01:44

And I really need to stop crying too it's a waste of water!

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hobbgoblin · 22/12/2009 01:47

Ohhhh....Moosy

Are you whacking the lansinoh on?

It doesn't matter if she gets nothing out Moosy because it's the sucking that counts and makes your body make more. In a day or two all the sucking will result in more milk.

But, of course you need to sleep too. Could you do one night of co-sleeping so she can suck while you doze?

You really need some catch up time on the old sleep so who is around during the day to help with that?

Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 02:29

She dozed for half an hour do I did too and now she's back on again. I am using lansinoh but she's feeding so much that I 'm feeling pretty chewed on. Might try and snooze for a bit now while she feeds...

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giraffespullthesleigh · 22/12/2009 05:06

You're doing really well

WidowWadman · 22/12/2009 05:23

Don't worry about the weight so much, it used to drive me crazy too, but it's no real indicator for the child's well-being. As long as nappies are full and wet and the child seems to be well in herself she's fine.

My daughter was born with 7lb 10 oz, at day 5 she was 7lb and it took four weeks until she was back to her birthweight. She turned 1 on sunday and is just about 16lb. A dinky, but healthy happy child.

I used to drive myself crazy by weighing her every week, despite her obviously being fine.

You are doing very well. Do you have a local breastfeeding support group? It helped me big time. Both with tips on how to improve technique and supply, as well as with moral support when well meaning relatives tried to talk me into topping her up with formula.

Mmmango · 22/12/2009 05:58

Sounds like a frustrating night, but don't worry that she's not 'getting anything' - your body is making milk while she sucks, so it might not be fast enough for her but she's getting something. And the constant sucking is what ups your supply so it's a good thing, really - you're doing fine

Having said that, I know that 'sucked out' feeling, it's exhausting at times, isn't it? When we have those days (usually evenings, sometimes nights) I try to give baby to dp for a bit to see if she'll settle with him. Just a few minutes with noone near my nipples helps me to calm down (!), and sometimes she calms down away from the milk smell too. Otherwise, she carries on rooting, dp hands her back after a few minutes, and I just carry on feeding. And feeding. And feeding.

All of which is just to say that you aren't doing anything wrong and she's not fussy because she needs formula (if anything, I have oversupply issues) - it's just normal. Carry on doing what you're doing, and good luck with the weigh in tomorrow.

whomovedmychocolate · 22/12/2009 06:44

Hot chocolate is your friend, comforting, calorific and makes you feel a bit better when you've had a nursling suckling for four hours at 3am! You will find you have a lot more milk tonight. Hang in there.

Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 09:25

That night was hard work and had better be worth it, grow baby grow!

She fed every 2 hours all night long and all feeds took at least an hour. I'm exhausted!

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StealthPolarBear · 22/12/2009 17:06

how has today been?

Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 21:08

Not too bad, she's settled between feeds mostly ok and went 4 hours once before I woke her up (typically her longest sleep was during the day ) and she's fed well each time. Now it'snight again so she's back to 2 hourly again but hopefully she'll settle in between and let me sleep a bit.

Only 14 hours till the weigh in........

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Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 21:11

Oh yes, and the HV came for the first time today and instantly pissed me off, she was filling in the red book and got to the feeding part. She looked at me sypathetically and said "well I'll put breastfeeding down but I expect you'll be doing top ups soon won't you?" I thought I did rather well not to hit her.

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janek · 22/12/2009 21:37

what a terrible thing to say!!! i'm outraged for you. you'll show her. you're doing great, you are doing absolutely the best thing for your baby and you will reap the benefit too if you can keep it up - healthier child, instant comfort, no sterilising. perfect.

keep at it. xxx.

amystev · 22/12/2009 21:37

Tell the HV to bugger off! I think you're doing amazingly well, loads of mums would have given up and bought a gallon of formula by now! Just keep going, I know it's hard but all that nipple-chewing your little girl is doing will pay dividends very soon xx

whomovedmychocolate · 22/12/2009 21:56

I find 'oh do go boil your head you silly witch' is a good phrase to hold in reserve for situations like when your HV calls and says something so daft.

You are really doing well, I've been there and I know how hard it is but you are doing exactly the right thing and if you keep on going, hopefully in a few days things will get better.

Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 22:01

Thanks, she really is a it shit but luckily my mw has been great so I just ignored her

I'm now beginning towonder if part of my problem is a bad latch. She seems to spend very little time actually gulping and a long time nibbling and I'm starting to get quite sore. Itryto get her to open her mouth really wide but she justpulls back and goes pinchy. I feel like I need to jack her mouth open wider and push her further on but can't figure out how?

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whomovedmychocolate · 22/12/2009 22:07

You need to get control of her neck and have her looking up towards the nipple so she is gaping towards you. It's great you are finding something positive you can do to help!

With DS I ended up taking him off each time so he got so desperate he really opened his mouth wide and then I let him on. Might seem cruel but making him get cross was the only way he learned to open his mouth properly!

sherby · 22/12/2009 22:17

there are some very good clips of different kind of latches here

Original poster
Moosy · 22/12/2009 23:09

On my phone so can't the videos now, will have a look in the morning, thanks they lol useful.

9.00 feed still going on,I think I got her latch better for a minute and she seems calmer now, not pulling off all the time

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MrsMalcolmTucker · 22/12/2009 23:23

nothing to add - just keep going, sounds like you're doing great.

my ds was tiny, less than 5lbs and gained weight so slowly at first. Agree with a previous poster that you need to be looking at other signs of health too - wet nappies, healthy fontanelle (sp?), settling between feeds etc/

Mmmango · 23/12/2009 03:26

Your HV, for example, is a twat.

Let us know how you get on with the midwife this morning - and if lo's not up to birthweight yet (but I bet she is ), stay calm, tell mw about the steps you've taken, tell her your concerns about the latch and see if she can observe a feed, and ask her what else you can do other than formula top-ups.

Or alternatively, you could come up with your own list of questions . Hope that doesn't come over as bossy/ patronising, it's just I find it easy to forget all the pertinent questions/ information when faced with HCPs, especially if I'm nervous already.

Good luck

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 03:57

Heehee, that she is!

She's just a big sleep (oop!) since the last marathon 2.5 hour feed and now I'm trying to concentrate on getting a good latch but she's still very : o and not very :O !

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Mmmango · 23/12/2009 04:05

You sound on great form for 4am - keep it up!

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 04:11

Struggling with latch still, she has the gaviscon froma bottle before her feeds and I wonder if it's made her lazy?

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Mmmango · 23/12/2009 04:35

Don't know about gaviscon - is it possible to give from a cup/ syringe instead? I know that's what they'd advise if it was formula and you wanted to avoid nipple confusion.

Original poster
Moosy · 23/12/2009 05:07

I use bottles because a syringe is such a faff to get/keep sterilised unlike bottles which are easy but now I'm thinking maybe it's worth the faff if it doesn't make feeding extra difficult. Something else to try anyway...

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