It's so unfair - I just want to be able to BF my babies

[Fruitbatlings]

I so need to get over this. I don't know if I need to see someone to help me get over it. Seeing all these threads about how crap FF is and how wonderful BFing is has really got to me tonight.
I couldn't feed either of my DS's as I have crap breasts thanks to PCOS causing them to be tubular hyperplastic. It's just so unfair. I know I should count myself lucky to have children at all. I find it so difficult as a lot of friends have had babies at the same time or just after me and some of them can go on a bit about bfing their babies. It really hurts, especially as they know I'm struggling to get over it - not that they should have to hide BFing from me at all. I usually try to change the subject but it doesn't work very well. Why can't I just accept it and get over it? My two DS's are so perfectly healthy and haven't suffered for being formula fed. It's just another kick in the teeth every time I prepare a bottle.

I should be incredibly grateful for formula but it seems to be deemed the height of evilness on MN

Just ranting but thanks for reading anyway, sigh........

Hey Fruitbatlings - I read "Domperidone" as "Dom Perignon"

Battling to BF can turn the most rational person into a wreck, I howled after falling asleep and dropping my breast pump and precious spoonful of breastmilk down the side of the sofa.

I know I did the absolute best that I could for my PFB and that I am a good mother so PAH to all the judgy Mums in the breast feeding cafe!

Keep your chin up!

Did she refuse to prescribe the Domperidone? That's an outrage! I would complain TBH as it is something that has obviously affected you.

Cornish - I know, I find it hard not to type "Dom Perignon"!

Nappy - yes she refused. It's too late now anyway, my DS2 is now nearly 9 months. I doubt he'd want to go near my boobies even if there was a gallon of milk in there! She looked in her book and said Domperidone isn't used to increase milk supply, it's a side affect, so cannot prescribe it for milk supply I can't remember what it's used for now.
She just didn't take me seriously at all. Said all the usual "feed more often" "drink/eat more" "express" etc.. As if I hadn't tried all that first! Stupid damned doctor. I refuse to see her now.

I also have an underactive thyroid. How does it affect nursing?

I actually didn't know an underactive thyroid could also have an affect on milk production. Jesus, I don't stand a chance do I I thought, as my thyroid is/was under control with thyroxine, it shouldn't have made a difference? Just after I had DS2 I had it tested and it was only very slightly over so stuck with the level of meds I was on - especially as I got married in Sept so didn't want my weight to go shooting up

Yes, GP should learn more about BFing but I suppose that's what HV's and midwives are for. GP's aren't experts in any field are they. I did speak to the HV but she just kind of looked at me sadly

I still don't understand the whole thyroid issue I will look at those link Leonie but could you link me the web address as I'm having trouble seeing links when like that. Thanks

I wonder if, when I have another baby, I have any hope of BFing? What with all my hormone problems, it seems highly unlikely, even if I'm given domperidone I am planning to use the nursing system which you have around your neck but that seems a lot of bother. BFing is supposed to be easy! Or so my mother and all my BFing friends say

So when I go for blood tests it is better for them to test for TSH, T4, T3, T2 or T1?

i'm really interested in thyroidy stuff, but i don't know much about it. what happens when you're preg?

so say for example if someone thought they were thyroidy but fell within range (as i presume i did because no-one got back to me after a consultant ordered tests)... what happens in preg? i've always thought it odd that i feel Fab U Luss during preg and lose loads of weight etc, but nothing i can do keeps it off when the baby is born. i've also wondered if it's a pcos thing.

Oh lordy, that sounds confusing!
I've always felt fabulous during pregnancy too. I don't really get thyroid symptoms. The only reason it was picked up years ago (about 10 years ago) was because my periods were so erratic. PCOS wasn't diagnosed until I was trying for DS2 a couple of years ago.

As long as my thyroxine levels are kept slightly over, I can keep my weight under control. I don't get any other symptoms, although, just realised I can get very tired and snappy easily but that's probably lack of sleep more than anything

my boobs don't look exactly like the pics of hypoplastic etc but they are far apart... when i went to the bfing specialist, she was really supportive in my efforts to keep providing some milk but also very clear about the fact that testosterone and other hormonal surges during adolescence (she linked this with pcos) just mean that the riight type of breast tissue isn't laid down.

if i had a double mastectomy i don't suppose i'd bother to beat myself up about not feeding... so fact is, my tits are rotten at bfing, i'm going to keep my spirits up and thank the lord for formula. (while campaigning for more people to have access more quickly to the type of bfing support that i was only able to get to too late and after much heartache.)

Giant tits? I obviously missed the queue for those!
Not got a huge arse but my thighs and calves are out of proportionally large (climbers legs)

I would be very happy to swap but DOUBLE G's? Blimey Can I borrow them for a week to see how I get on?

So should I be asking what the actual level is rather than them telling me oh it's fine we don't need to change your medication at the moment?