Day 3 and nipples look like a war zone

[BeckyBendyLegs]

I'm trying to BF number 3 after failing with numbers 1 and 2 children (at 3 weeks and 6 days previously due to soreness and hungry, big babies) and I was determined to make this work this time but last night my lovely new DS has fed constantly and today I am in agony. What should I do? My DS fed from 7-12pm last night every hour and he just wasn't satisfied so we gave him a bottle at 1am and he's been asleep ever since (now 7am). Not sure what to do. I want to persevere but I have two other DSs to think about, I am in agony every time he latches on, I am in tears all the time and I have had 2 hours sleep every night. It is only day 3!!!!! I wish I were made of stronger stuff.

Has your milk definitely come in?

That cluster feeding is horrible, I totally sympathise.

Is there a bf clinic you can get to? Has anyone seen your latch?

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time.

Hi Becky,
It is awful, isn't it, Sorry to hear you are sore.

I'm 8 1/2 weeks in, and really struggled through the first few weeks (then I got thrush in my breasts, but that's another story).

Things that helped:

Taking painkillers. Paracetamol is ok. I also took codydramol because I had a c section.

Making sure the latch is right, though in my experience it can bloody well hurt even when you have a great latch. Signs of a bad latch are strangely shaped nipples when they come out, especially if they are flattened at the sides. If it feels like baby is rasping at the breast like a snail, unlatch, regroup and try again.

Counting slowly and doing labour breathing for the first minute or so (if it's not a latching problem, the pain will lessen after the first bit of the feed). I also did a bit (a lot) of biting down on muslins and curling my toes.

I found night feeds and early morning feeds worst. It helped me to have a cup of tea and a snack while I was feeding. I think my pain threshold is lower when I have low blood sugar.

It's great to distract yourself with tv etc, but make sure baby stays properly latched and doesn't slip back while you are not paying attention.

it really helped me to start expressing and build up a stock in the freezer for if you just can't face putting baby to your breast. MUCH better to do this than give formula as it helps to maintain your supply. I have only ad to resort to the frozen stuff once, but it really helps knowing it is there. If you do this, though, you must express too, after the feed of expressed milk, to maintain your supply.

Last of all, try to think about one feed at a time. Repeat "this is not forever". Just a tiny part of your life, but a vitally important part for your baby.

You are doing a really brilliant job. Hope some of this is helpful .

Me again. Reading through, I don't think I conveyed just how painful I found it and then came through the other side. I pretty much sobbed my way through about 2 weeks of feeds at 2-3 weeks, or spent 10 minutes with DH holding one of the bawling, hungry babies (I have twins) with me howling "I can't put him on, it hurts too much".

Not trying to be competitive about the pain - just trying to reassure that it was absolutely awful for me - and now it is fine (most of the time - as long as I pay attention to the latch instead of Strictly / MumsNet ).

Good luck .

Hi Zippy thanks for your kind words and it sounds as if you are doing a wonderful job, esp with twins. I am full of admiration for anyone who continues to BF desipte difficulties.

This is my third attempt and the same problems are occurring and now my two other little boys need me too and I am torn between new baby duties and existing two boy duties. I have a breast councillor friend coming round today. Not sure what will happen though.

Glad to hear you have a breastfeeding counsellor coming around - if she's someone from the big four organisations (NCT/ABN/BfN/LLL, in no particular order) then she should be able to help.

Pain can be ok, or pain can be a sign things need to be changed a bit.

Problem is everyone here, family etc, is telling me to give up. I've had six hours sleep in three nights too ... that doesn't help. Ahhh those damn baby blues!!! He just doesn't seem satisfied on my milk??

My friend is from Children's Centre Services and an organization called BURPS which I can't remember what it stands for!

Ok, well, obviously your family don't have the same priorities as you do. If you don't want to stop BFing, then don't.

Has your milk come in? The baby sucking so much should bring it in faster. I wouldn't keep offering bottles of formula, just let him suck, if at all possible.

If your friend isn't able to help you, then there is plenty of free BF advice out there. If you're willing to say whereabouts you live (which town) I can have a dig to see what I can find ...

(Is sleeping with your baby possible? That can help with your sleep ...)

New babies are kinda cranky. He probably isn't as full as he would be on formula, particularly if your milk hasn't yet come in, but this will settle down.

Hi again Becky,

If you are having plenty of wet/dirty nappies then your baby is almost certainly getting enough! I know what you mean about 'doesn't seem satisfied', but he's just working hard to get your supply up, that's all. At the end of some feeds DT1 does this too, writhing around and punching the boob (quite comical to watch, as if he thinks it's broken!), but within a couple of days the supply has responded and there is enough. He put on 1 1/2lbs in the last 2 weeks, despite the writhing, pulling off and going back on and the frustrated boob punching!

Within the bounds of being sensible (wet/dirty nappies etc), I think breastfeeding is a bit like flying in Peter Pan - hold your nerve, keep believing it is working and you are making enough milk, and you will.

(a bit 'out there', but it works for me )

Hi Becky, keep going - I had an awful time the first few weeks and genuinely wondered if it would always be like that! I had a crack on one side and would weep when DS was feeding, and began to dread that side. It stung so badly. It would start to close and then he would feed and bosh - it would open up again! The other side was just generally sore from having a little barracuda attached to it every three hours! In the end I expressed from the cracked side, and just had to grin and bear it on the other side. After about four days of expressing and using Lucas Paw Paw Ointment - they use it in Australia and its brilliant - I had another go and was really strict with making sure he was opening his mouth really wide/chin to boob etc and it worked... DS gaining weight rapidly - he's a very 'efficient' feeder and can't quite believe it is working so well after such a painful start. My nipples look a bit 'worn in' but they don't hurt anymore and I am loving the breastfeeding!

Hi guys

I've kept going and in terms of pain it has been ok today, I'm pleased that I've done more feeding today, but he just doesn't seem satisfied at all! He's lost just under 10% of his weight (weighed today) but I'm hoping it's just because he's a hungry baby and it's taking it's time to get kicking. But I've fed him loads since lunchtime and he won't settle at all! He falls asleep on me and after about three times I try to settle him but it's a no go. Hmmm. What's the deal?

Would a smile help at all? Because I read your thread title and had a vision of the UN camped out on your areolas, Gordon Brown writing misspelled letters of sympathy for your nipples, and Kate Adie reporting from your cleavage.

Seriously - have you contacted your NCT breastfeeding counsellor? They might be able to help. Nipple shields help some people too, and putting cabbage leaves in your bra is supposed to make things a bit more comfortable as well.

Also remember you need to look after yourself - drink plenty, eat a good diet and rest when you can - easier said than done, I know.

Have you tried using a sling Becky? One of the across-the-body ones. With my needy DC4 I found it a godsend, I would feed for aaages and then stick baby in sling and could do stuff with my other 3 DCs, even cook dinner and do washing up. Babe was soothed by touch and smell of Mom and heartbeat and it got me out of the headspin place of "how do I juggle everybody's needs?"
Your milk should be coming in now so things will hopefully ease. The first few weeks are the hardest, and then they get different.

Hello! Day 4 and still here and still feeding - war zone still there - Katie is about to report on the size of the mammouth mammeries today.

I do have a sling - need to work out how to use it! I will use it I am sure during the evening getting tea ready etc. Chest a bit too painful at the mo.

Hi Becky,
Sounds like your milk has arrived!
How is it going today?

Becky, don't get too hung up on his weight - with my 3 DDs, they were weighed at birth then not weighed again until they were two weeks old. The mws/health visitors in my area said they do it that way because it worries mums too much if the babies get weighed a lot in the very early days, since they all lose weight after birth. I second the sling - I used a Close sling with DD3 and, although I never mastered feeding in it. she spent many a happy hour snoozing away in there while I made tea/played/helped with homework for my older 2.

Hope it's going well today.

Hi ZippysMum - better today, thanks, although he refuses to settle for a nap except on DH's chest today! Milk is in, woke up with two footballs in my top, nipples still sore and cracked but we're doing it with those toe-curling ten seconds at the start to get through. Only day 4. I did 6 days with DS2 so when I pass that milestone I'll be proud of myself. My mum has just left, she was here for five days, and has been driving me a bit mad with her 'oooh just give him a bottle' comments. These things are here to test us! Poledra I might get the sling out now, I can hear him crying! It's so hard isn't it? And when you have a generation of mothers, mother-in-laws, etc who just bottle fed because in the 1970s that what they did it is even harder.

i just want to add, that the babies not seeming satisfied is normal.
you are giving him perfect, complete nutrition.
its normal for them to drop weight too.

dont worry, keep going, you are doing brill.
look at Kellymom site, hang around these boards and youll be alright.

keep going becky - ouch i remember the the curling! at one point, i had to count out loud to block out the pain - reminded me of labour!!! It does get better - you just have to keep going... make sure he gets a good mouthful of boob too

kellymom.com is brilliant and these boards are too - so a search for tiktok, a poster on here who knows loads - i think he/she might be a breastfeeding counsellor?

Hey Becky Day seven here, and it has got a lot better. Still flinching a little when he latches on my left, but after about ten seconds or so its okay. Know what you mean about mums. I was bottle fed, and so was my brother, and I can see my mum physically having to restrain herself from getting in the car to go buy formula.

Have you got plenty of nipple cream and cups of tea? I've also been getting DP to feed me marshmellows during each feed - something to bite down on if it hurts, but also something yummy to look forward to through the pain!!

Have you tried Lasinoh BTW? Nipple cream of the gods, I tells ya. Expensive, but worth it!

...and forgot to say - my LO sucked and sucked and sucked around day 14 or so, it was exhausting, my nipples actually started to ache and he never seemed satisfied, and I was worried about my supply - turns out it was some kind of growth spurt or something as he put on a pound the following week after the milk supply responded with a vengeance - like someone else said - don't give him formula - let him suck - the baby is the one who regulates your supply - how clever is that! (of course it doesn't feel clever in the midst of nipple pain )

DO keep going, every day you breastfeed your baby, he is getting SO much goodness from you - you are setting him up for life! And you are doing so well to keep going despite hideous pain!

Zippysmum - LOL at your LO punching and writhing around - mine does a similar thing - paticularly before bed - he sort of jumps about and gets excited, and his arms start going - at least I thought he was excited, but your description sounds more accurate...

Oh yes - they have growth spurts at a week and at two weeks, he might just be having his a little early. And Lasinoh is worth every penny - you can get it on prescription as well

Please tell me to carry on and that it is worth me carrying on. Day 5 and my nipples are both very cracked and bleeding and feeding is agony. DH thinks I should give up now. DS3 is just not at all satisfied with me at all. Here is how last night went:
Fed during the day from just me and he slept fittfully between feeds.
Fed at 10pm from me then formula top up. Slept.
Fed at 1pm from me and formula top up. Slept but woke at 4am but went back off again.
Fed at 5am from me (tried to avoid formula top up but he cried and cried until 6.30am). DH has just fed him a bottle and he's asleep now. So I feel like a complete failure now never mind the pain and bleeding I am putting myself through.

My nipples look horrendous. Am I flogging a dead donkey? Serously? Is it worth it?

oh becky you poor thing! what a nightmare! Did you see the breastfeeding counsellor friend? Have you got a baby cafe near you - there are breastfeeding gurus which attend and help. My sister had a right nightmare and they sorted her out. Don't give up yet - all the breastmilk you are giving your baby has massive benefits!

Have you thought about expressing to find out how much milk you are producing? When I had a cracked nipple, I expressed and realised that I did have a fair amount of milk. It ws really reassuring and gave me hope! It was just a £15 pump from Boots too. That way you will know if is something else that your baby is crying about. The formula might just be knocking him out - it is harder for their little bodies to digest, which is why they fall asleep. It doesn't mean it is good for them. You could express, which I found less painful, and allowed my nipple to heal, and then give it to him in a bottle. It took three or four days.

Put lansinoh or kamillosan on too.

Don't give up yet - breastmilk is too valuable to your little one! It is what babies are supposed to drink! Take painkillers too to dull the pain. It all sounds so easy doesn't it, but I know it isn't. I would weep when I fed DS but now its fine!

I'm going to BURPS this morning (local BF drop-in) but I cry whenever I look at my poor nipples they look so awful. I don't think I am latching him on properly - and he fidgets when he is on which hurts. I dread each feed at the moment!

DH is fed up of me obsessing! He's being a saint though and holding my hand through the tears.