Day 3 and nipples look like a war zone

[BeckyBendyLegs]

I'm trying to BF number 3 after failing with numbers 1 and 2 children (at 3 weeks and 6 days previously due to soreness and hungry, big babies) and I was determined to make this work this time but last night my lovely new DS has fed constantly and today I am in agony. What should I do? My DS fed from 7-12pm last night every hour and he just wasn't satisfied so we gave him a bottle at 1am and he's been asleep ever since (now 7am). Not sure what to do. I want to persevere but I have two other DSs to think about, I am in agony every time he latches on, I am in tears all the time and I have had 2 hours sleep every night. It is only day 3!!!!! I wish I were made of stronger stuff.

I'm sorry you're having such a rubbish time. I really really struggled BFing at the start, just like you my nipples were cracked, sore and bleeding and I used to cry before, during and after each feed!! The good news is that I got there and BFede for 9 months in the end - but it did take a few weeks to settle it down.

Here's what helped me:

1. DS had a tongue tie. Visiting professionals had missed it, and it was only a visiting friend who happened to be a midwife who spotted it. We had it snipped at our local hospital (took seconds and they don't feel a thing) and that resolved 80% of my pain immediately.

Get someone to check.

1. Are you putting anything on your nipples between feeds? Use Lanisoh cream - it really is the best. It helps them heal without drying out and cracking further.

1. Expressing - when my nipple damage was at its worst - I honestly thought part of one of them was falling off! - I expressed for 24 hours to allow them time to heal (with lanisoh) whilst keeping up my supply. Other times I expressed for the late evening and overnight feeds - it did mean for a few days I was either feeding or expressing a LOT - but it gave my boobs 12 out of eveyr 24 hours completely off from feeding, again to help them heal.

1. Positioning. Get everyone who knows about it to watch your position whilst feeding - one of them might hold the key for you. For me I struggled to get enough of my nipple into his mouth cos of the tongue tie. I also found the upright feeding positions they tell you to use really difficult - reclining worked much better for us.

I hope that helps. The nipple DIDN'T fall off and they are now back to their original state both in terms of appearance and sensation if that comforts you. Look through the BFing threads on here, there's loads and loads of advice. It's still really early days and you're both learning each other so if you want to persevere, keep on here for support and I know you'll make it. (I'm not trying to pressure you by saying that but it seems like this is what you really want to do and it doesn't seem like you've got loads of support IRL so just trying to give you the other side of it).

Best of luck - oh, and congratulations

Cassarole thank you for this and your kind words of encouragement. My BF councillor friend checked for tongue tie so I know it is not that. I have just watched that breast feeding DVD they give you again and despite all the 'oooh it is so easy' stuff on there (I honestly feel they should make a DVD which includes people who struggled and saw through it rather than people who had an easy time, anyway, another issue) and I don't think he is getting breast enough in his mouth each time. Hence why he isn't satisfied as well as the cracked issue. WEll off to Burps now to see what they say. They are supposed to be pretty good. Just taken two parcetomol!

BTW just spoke to my mum who urged me to give up! Mothers!

Oh, Becky, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, and it's made more difficult if everyone around you is urging you to give up. I had a terrible time getting BF established with DD1 and I don't think I'd have managed it if DH hadn't been so pro me keeping on trying. She had a formula top-up for 6 weeks before I managed to get to exclusive BF, and then we kept going to 10 months!

Have you tried aiming your nipple at his nose rather than his mouth when he's latching on? It can help make him tip his head back slightly and take a bigger mouthful. Also, I used to shape my nipple to get it into DD's mouth - I know you're not supposed to do that, but it worked for us. I used to put my thumb at the top of the areola and push in, so that the nipple was pointing up to the roof of her mouth. It's hard to describe without showing you! I also found a V-pillow massively helpful, as it supported the baby and allowed me to use both hands to get her latched on properly without worrying about dropping her.

Hope you're getting some help at the bfeeding cafe. You're doing so well!

just popped in to see how you are doing.
will check back later to hear about the bf cafe.
well done for getting through another night!!

You are all so lovely to me. I had some good advice at the BF drop in and still feeding! Off to take DS3 to pick up DS1 from school now and will keep feeding this evening and tonight More toe curling to come.

I'm sure there are other people out there going through this too.

nice one becky - well done

i used to bite a flannel for the duration of the toe curling bit.
i remember it feeling as though i was being eaten alive
there is breastfeeding stuff on you tube, tips, checking the latch etc.
you sound really posotive!
go girl!

Well done for keeping up feeding, especially since some people around you are encouraging you otherwise. I know just how hard it is to feed through the terrible pain of damaged nipples!
I too advise lanisoh cream it has been found to actively help healing along with easing the pain too.
Regarding having enough milk to satisfy a big baby, my second baby born 9lb 12 oz has been solely breastfed. You might have to feed a bit more often ( especially to start with) but trust your body, it will produce enough milk providing you continue to nurse on demand. newborn bf babies should not sleep for great long stretches as they need to fed often. Breast milk is digested much quicker than formula as it is the perfect food for your baby. Ff babies tend to sleep for longer stretches as their bodies kind of shut down in order to process the food. It doesn't mean they are more satisfied. If you do express don't be surprised if you don't collect only an ounze or so. Expressing is no indication of how much milk you have.
Anyway, whitter over, you are doing so well keep it up, take each day as it comes. I found after 3 weeks the damage healed & feeding became more comfortable. Good luck, eat lots of chocolate & cake

I can completely sympathise - you poor, poor thing! I've nothing practical to add I'm afraid just wanted to send hugs and let you know there are people out there who care.

Really hope things get better for you soon [more hugs]

You sound exactly the same as I was with both my DS. DS1 had a tongue tie, but not DS2 and the pain was just as bad. I remember one feed in particular that I had cried all the way through, only for DS2 to vomit it all back - he had reflux - and there was nearly as much blood as milk .

I also recommend Lansinoh, but I don't think anyone has mentioned yet whether to try to let your nipples get some air? With DS1 my MW said I needed to get air to them to let them heal, so I dutifully walked about with my norks out as much as possible . However, I saw a wonderful bf counsellor with DS2 who pointed out that this advice is now seen as wrong and research has shown that it is better to keep the nipples soft and moist between feeds i.e. cover in Lansinoh and use a breast pad. This allows them to heal from the inside and made perfect sense to me because otherwise you'll keep scabbing over and your ds will have to break through the scab - not nice. I found that my nipples sorted themselves out much quicker with DS2 as a result of this - after a couple of weeks it was painless.

Please keep going in the knowledge that it will improve and you'll be so proud of yourself if you manage to keep going - I did several months with each of mine and it remains one of the things I'm most proud of myself for.

it gets better! my dd is 9 weeks and it is so much easier than making bottles up. it even feels nice to feed her. i love doing it now, even though your post could have been written by me 9 weeks ago.

please don't give up. in just one week you will be feeling differently. it IS agony at the moment but soon it will be bliss.

have a read of this to cheer yourself up and on... boobies!

Blinder your post cheered me as I was all set to give up at 5pm and told DH and spent the next two hours in floods of tears but have since fed again and despite the toe curling (it was the most cracked nipple) feel better again now. Poor DH has to put up with so much my emotions are all over the place. My other DSs also don't know what to make of their mummy and seem quite accustomed to seeing me walk about the house boobies on show and finding my 'purple cream' for me. So another day done: day 5. On to day 6!

I think our latch is mostly ok but then now and then (usually middle of night) we have a bad latch and that does the damage. I really hope that in a week's time or whenever it will feel better. I have given myself until the end of DH's paternity leave to see if things improve. I really hope they do as I want to beat this and get to a stage of BFing and loving it. At the moment I love the idea of it but the reality is not there yet.

Day 6: still at it! Still crying, still toe curling, right nipple still cracked and bleeding (god it looks awful - I've just fed him from that side and I think he wasn't quite latched on properly). Ho hum. Every day is another day. Feel sooo tired though as he is sleeping better in the day than at night

I can't believe I was still pregnant this time last week: waddling around town and frightening the woman behind the till in Marks and Spencers when I told her my due date was the following day. Seems weeks ago now!

It takes time for you both to learn, try to live in the moment.
you will never regret this!
give it your all!
good luck for today, will pop back later.

google exagerrated attatchment, until you get the latch, you cant heal.
is there someone from the bf cafe you can call on?
the midwife / HV?
someone in RL who has breastfed to come over for the next few feeds?
you need some support, get help asap.

Midwife due 'sometime today' for heel prick test. Thing is it feels like nine times out of ten we get the attachment right and then all it takes is one bad one and bang we're back to square one! Nipple a war zone again.

I will google.

Becky I'm sorry to hear you're suffering still Is there anyway you could express and feed by cup for a few days? The midwife suggested to me to try that if it stayed painful. They can lap the milk like a kitten was how she described it to me if you put some milk in a bottle top.

I know what you mean about one bad latch. LO has decided he likes to feed to two hours straight at night and be changed three times during that sighs Ouchie.

I hope things get easier soon.

well done becky - know exactly what you mean - it sometimes seems one step forward and five back... but you are still going and that is brilliant! I found expressing an absolute joy - what a relief from the pain - it gave my nipple time to heal and DH could feed him too which gave me a break. It was a bit of an arse at night cos I would have to get up before he was hungry, but with enough time for milk to be there and sometimes he was crying at me while I was expressing with me rocking him with my foot while furiously trying to express as much as possible... I also really tried to concentrate on my latch and get him to too he wouldn't ever open his mouth wide enough and the BF cafe lady said be realy strict with him - he protested at first but now it is HIM that latches on really well. Once it is healed though, you won't look back, you'll be well away!

Another reason to keep going - I eat shed loads of cake and crunchy nut cornflakes (and other, more healthy stuff) and am still losing kilos!

Keep going, you'll get through it

DH has gone to get a pump: am going to try to express from poorly nipple and keep feeding from healthy nipple. I tried to feed him from poorly nipple earlier today but he just screamed and screamed and I couldn't get him on don't know what was up with him. He was hungry (too hungry perhaps). He drinks from other nipple fine.

He was weighed today: not gaining much. Sigh.

Everyone still urging me to 'just give it up already'. I have total, complete admiration for anyone who makes a success of BFing.

everyone urging you to give up think they are helping but when you are able to feed in your sleep you will be glad you ignored them!

i found that i had to keep taking her off if the latch wasn't quite right, sometimes six or so times until it felt right. Being really disciplined about that for a couple of days will pay off. It only takes a couple of days to heal the nipples.

have you phoned these guys la leche league?

they can give you expert coaching to sort the latching issue out and will cheer you on too! they've been where you are!

Rest assured though that as baby grows he will get better at it! wish i could tell you face to face how lovely it will be soon . keep going - you're doing great!

You say your baby is not gaining much. He is 6 days old! If he is gaining at all you are doing really well.
Well done you for keeping going. It will get easier. You've discovered yourself that being incorrectly positioned for even one feed can cause trouble, so it's a case of being careful and allowing the sore side to heal.
Real life help important though, lovely and all as everybody on here is
Take it one feed at a time. Maybe start on the least sore side and then when he is not quite so ravenous slide him over to the ouchy one?

If that is so why do midwives get in a paddy about weight gain at this age?

I'm going to feed him from the good side when he wakes and pump the poorly side. See how it goes. I'm much better at latching on my left side for some reason.

becky, I really feel your pain. It was like this for me with DD. Bloody awful. I actually gave up at 5 weeks but I think that is because I started topping up more and more and my supply dwindled and then I got food poisioning which completely knocked it on the head. I really wish I had found mumsnet when i was having my problems because there is so much great advice and support on here.

Good luck - there is a whole army of MNers wincing and curling toes with you (and I am due in March so will probably be on here loads myself then).