Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Day 3 and nipples look like a war zone

73 replies

BeckyBendyLegs · 17/11/2009 07:17

I'm trying to BF number 3 after failing with numbers 1 and 2 children (at 3 weeks and 6 days previously due to soreness and hungry, big babies) and I was determined to make this work this time but last night my lovely new DS has fed constantly and today I am in agony. What should I do? My DS fed from 7-12pm last night every hour and he just wasn't satisfied so we gave him a bottle at 1am and he's been asleep ever since (now 7am). Not sure what to do. I want to persevere but I have two other DSs to think about, I am in agony every time he latches on, I am in tears all the time and I have had 2 hours sleep every night. It is only day 3!!!!! I wish I were made of stronger stuff.

OP posts:

joyjac · 20/11/2009 18:40

Pattern is normally drop a little weight in first few days, then a few days plateau and then start to gain from about day 10 or thereabouts.

If you think about it logically colostrum is available in very small quantities and baby is producing meconium and pee. Gradually changes to mature breastmilk so gradually quantity increases and calorific content increases. The more the baby nurses, the more and the quicker the milk is produced. This is where formula MAY be a problem as it is one less time of stimulus to your body to make more milk.

Health professionals get hung up on weight gain because of box-ticking IMHO. And sometimes (whisper) because of lack of knowledge as to how breastfeeding works. There are some marvelous midwives and health visitors out there, and then there are the other sort........

Everybody has a "better" breast IME: easier to latch, quicker letdown and less sore. Don't know why that is the case.

blinder · 20/11/2009 19:32

babies are expected to lose up to 10% of their birth weight in the first week - this will be written on the growth charts in your red health book. midwives shouldn't get into a paddy unless they LOSE more than that. Any weight GAIN is a success!

blinder · 20/11/2009 19:35

btw Becky, are you regularly being brought drinks and food? show your partner this thread if you like. You need practical support to be able to devote yourself to feeding, especially for the first couple of weeks.

Poledra · 20/11/2009 20:43

Just popping in to see how you're doing - well done you for keeping on going!! It is getting there - you've got one good nipple now and one warzone. That's an improvement!!

mollybob · 20/11/2009 22:03

I found breastpads dried me out and all nipple creams seemed to wipe off. The mw I had with DD recommended kaltostat dressing for the nipples and it sped up the healing. I scarred badly on R nipple but once it healed it was fine and the kaltostat was thrown away. I managed for 14 months in the end but the first 2 weeks were horrendous. You are doing brilliantly.

RubyBuckleberry · 21/11/2009 19:42

WooHoo Becky - getting there! That is brilliant that you have one good one because the baby will stimulate lots of good hormones to make you produce good milk and you can let the other one heal! Don't worry about the weight - he is gaining - my DS had slow weight gain at first (which isn't really 'slow' anyway,) and then proceeded to put on a pound a couple of weeks later - they will get what they need! They are very clever!

And good for you for sticking at it despite being told to give up! Imagine, in a months time or so, you will be out and about with no bottles or anything - VERY convenient !

Littlemai · 21/11/2009 21:52

Oh I was going to recommend lansinoh and kamillosan too!! I am only on baby one but had very sore bleeding nipples by day 3 even though my latch was apparently correct- got very worried as DS was then drinking blood and at day 3 when you are already tearful was a bit of a disaster but was recommended those 2 creams and nipples were better in 24 hours!! hope they help you as much!!!
My friend had some real problems with feeding and found out after she was really sore that her DD was tongue tied and therefore not able to suckle proerly ( sorry haven't read previous posts as just grabbing a minute while DS is sleeping but very nearly feed time again)
I hope you find something that helps x

merrymonsters · 21/11/2009 23:27

The constant feeding and not seeming satisfied is completely normal for a newborn. It does not mean that you don't have enough milk. It's necessary to build up supply. It's exhausting but it's normal. I wish someone had told me that when I had DS1.

My third child had tongue tie, which made breastfeeding horrible because she couldn't latch on properly. I had the tongue tie cut when she was 9 days old and that solved the problem (it still took a week or two for my nipples to heal though). Has anyone checked for tongue tie?

Original poster

BeckyBendyLegs · 22/11/2009 07:42

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your help and advice. I'm afraid though that after a horrendous couple of days (on top of a pretty awful week) I've given up. I feel totally and completely wretched about this so you can't possibly say anything to make me feel worse, and this happened with my other two DSs too. I could not take the pain any longer and the constant feeding with unsatisfied baby and no weight gain and family pressure from mum, MIL, even stepmother said 'oh for god's sake give him a bottle' and even harder than that was the sad faces on my two DSs as they hardly saw me for the whole week as I was either feeding or asleep. DS1 was particularly upset as it was his birthday this week.

I am in bits about this as I so wanted to get to the stage where it was working and wonderful and lovely. I love the idea of breast feeding and I really wanted it to work this time but the reality was just horrendous for me in these early days. I feel so guilty and such a bad mother but I simply could not take it any longer and I was miserable, my family were miserable, DH looked miserable, so surely DS3 was feeling that too. I felt physically sick with the pain when he latched on on the one side and only slightly better on the 'good' side and was in tears all the time and pumping produced so little milk, which he gulped in no time, that I didn't know what else to do except just give up. I wish I had persevered with feeding DS1 beyond 3 weeks (6 years ago) as I think if I'd had more help and support back then, like you guys and BF support in the RL (didn't really exist that much then where we lived), then I could have got through and fed DS1 successfully and therefore had more chances of doing it with DS2 and DS3. I wish I were made of stronger stuff but I'm not.

I'm sorry One week's effort is pathetic.

OP posts:

StarExpat · 22/11/2009 08:13

Don't be BBL. You gave it a brilliant effort and gave him a whole week of your fabulous milk You tried very hard and did what is best for you and your children.
I wish I'd seen this earlier. What saved me were silverettes mini cups. They might help you heal.
here
I thought I'd mention them because I know it can take a while for cracked nipples to heal and thought they might still help you to be more comfortable. I felt better literally overnight with these. I kept them in my bra as I continued to feed for a while because it was such agony having them touch cotton or breast pads or anything. Lansinoh did NOT do the trick for me...at all. Silverettes were the only thing that really really healed them.

StarExpat · 22/11/2009 08:15

just seen they are out of stock. I have some that are sterilized. CAT me if you'd like them!

Original poster

BeckyBendyLegs · 22/11/2009 08:31

StarExpat thanks so much, they sound amazing, I've never heard of them, but I fear it is too late. Milk almost all gone now

OP posts:

ErikaMaye · 22/11/2009 12:15

Becky don't be so hard on yourself, hun. Its obvious from this thread, and the November one, how hard you've tried, and how much pain you've been in. YOU HAVE NOT FAILED YOURSELF OR YOUR DS. Breastfeeding, even just the once, is a brilliant thing, and an achievement. But reread what you have written - it wasn't working for either you or your little man. You can't force it to happen. I'm sending you the biggest of big hugs. Enjoy the time while your DS is this small and you can have endless baby cuddles. You're a fab mother who adores her children. Be proud of yourself for continuing as long as you did through all that pain. x

joyjac · 22/11/2009 12:56

Becky, you have given your baby a great start, and that week's worth of breastmilk will continue to benefit him in the next months. I'm so sorry that you're giving up in despair and in pain, but do not feel guilty. We can only do the best we can.

And it is possible that in a few days or a week when your nipples have healed you might like to try putting the baby to the breast again. No pressure, but a possibility.

Enjoy your baby and look after yourself.

Original poster

BeckyBendyLegs · 22/11/2009 13:42

ErikaMaye thank you so much.

OP posts:

Original poster

BeckyBendyLegs · 22/11/2009 13:43

Joyjack would that work? I thought that once the milk has gone, that's the end?

OP posts:

GColdtimer · 22/11/2009 16:51

becky, I could have written your post a few years ago. You poor thing, I do feel for you - I remember standing in the shower just sobbing when I finally admitted defeat. Do try to put the regret and disappointment behind you. You did your absolute best, so many people woulnd't have lasted as long and you have done the right thing for your family. I really found that when I stopped bf, whilst feeling really sad about it, I did manage to start enjoying my baby. I also took a very demand led approach to bottle feeding - didnt count ounces, fed her when she wanted, fed her whilst cuddling her really close, had lots of skin to skin contact, did lots of baby massage, etc. We then went on to do BLW. I hope this is some comfort.

Oh, and I did try putting her back on but tbh, it didn't really work for me. put you never know - i might be worth a try for you. I hope you feel OK.

lucasmama08 · 22/11/2009 17:03

Don't be hard on yourself (although I know it's easier said than done!) you did your best and at the end of the day you have to take your other 2 LOs into account as well.

Really hope your poorly nipple heals and that things start to look brighter soon.

Original poster

BeckyBendyLegs · 22/11/2009 17:23

Twofalls your post has really helped me . It's true actually I am more content now and have had lots more cuddles with him over the last couple of days (before I only seemed to hold him when we were feeding). He is much more content now (for whatever reason, whether he senses I am not so stressed any more which I am sure he must do) and I am starting to enjoy him much more than I was last week when I was dreading the sound of his crying and needing a feed 24/7. I have complete and utter admiration for all the successful BFing women out there though. I think it is a marvellous thing to do if you can see through the bad times and get to that stage where it is lovely.

OP posts:

GColdtimer · 22/11/2009 21:41

Glad my post helped a bit becky, I honestly did feel closer to DD when I stopped dreading every single feed and being in such agony and whilst I still felt overwhelming regret over my failure to bf her, the bond we developed was lovely and she was so contented. (I would never use my experience as a reason for someone else to stop by the way, but seeing as you had already made that decision I wanted to share with you how it was for me).

Hope you are managing to get a bit more rest and are enjoying your baby.

Laugs · 22/11/2009 22:06

Becky, you poor thing. I hope you are enjoying your time with DS3 more now. I am positive you've done the best thing for all your boys.

blinder · 22/11/2009 22:10

don't feel bad Becky - you are doing what's best for YOU in your unique situation. It's hard to make choices like that as a mum but I bet it IS the right choice.

lovely that you are enjoying your little one! have lots of gorgeous hugs with all three DCs mmmmm!

beepbeep · 23/11/2009 13:40

Hi Becky, so sorry you've had such a nightmare time. I was similar to you with DD, I felt really guilty stopping, but we were both so much happier & chilled when I did. I didn't dread the crying, DH could help get me more rest and I actually enjoyed her! The first few days are the best stuff and you have done well in persevering to give him this. Enjoy him x

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread