can anyone help me understand what happened?

[pippel]

when dd1 was born I was 21 and a bit clueless about babies tbh.

She was exclusively breastfed from birth until nearly 6 months. She fed constantly, and I dont mean frequently I mean constantly 24/7, people who didn't see it have trouble understanding and say things like babies do feed alot. If she wasn't feeding for example because I was in the shower she was screaming to be fed and it was proper feeding not comfort sucking. She was sick quiet alot which isn't very pleasant when they are still attached at the time!

So at nearly 6 months I had enough and put her on a bottle, I stopped suddenly but it didn't hurt the way it did when I stopped feeding dd2. I had no problems with the actual feeding and it never hurt. When she went on the bottle she suddenly became the happiest most settled baby you have ever met. Then she started to try and pinch peoples food so I weaned her and with in a couple of weeks she started to scream if you tried to give her a bottle other than first thing in the morning and last thing at night and has hated milk since.

4 months ago I had dd2 and I got myself in to a state about having to bf, I just didn't want to do it. In the end she was bf exclusively for 6 weeks and mix fed until about 12 weeks.

No one has ever been able to tell me why she was like that does anyone have any ideas? If Im honest it still affects me because I wasn't able to enjoy dd1 as a baby, in fact I hated those first 6 months so much Im surprised I ever had another one.

It sounds really tough and I think you did very well to feed her for 6 months

When she was first born, did she feed straight away and have lots of feeds in the first few days? Also did you have lots of skin to skin contact and her near to you initially? Straightforward birth?
I suppose I'm wondering if these things didn't happen then your milk supply may have been affected and she needed to feed often to get enough. For some people, bf will be established without all these things being 'just so', but for others it can have an impact.

The other reasons could be reflux or silent reflux, or possible cows milk intolerance.
How long did she formula feed for before she stopped wanting the bottle?
I am not surprised you were anxious about your DD2's feeding, I expect your confidence took a big knock.
Could you chat to your HV and ask them if they remember what it was like- they may have other ideas.

she fed within about 20 minutes of being born, and wasn't very interested I think because of the pain relief I had. Once I was on the ward she started to feed and that was that for 6 months . The midwife in the hospital showed me how to feed lying down and that was the only advice anybody had apart from the hv who said if you dont think shes hungry then leave her to cry

She had a bottle for a maybe 6 or 7 weeks before she stopped wanting them, and at the same time as giving up the bottle she refused to nap anymore and I had to use cc to get her to sleep in her own cot during the night. She was a very difficult baby, happy and lovely but definitely difficult

Ive moved since I had dd1 so I have a different hv team now, and when I talked to my mw when I was pregnant to dd2 she just seemed to think I meant she fed frequent feeding rather than constant.

how was her weight gain?
Feeding constantly makes me think bad latch, but nothing else does, you had no other pain / problems....
well done for feeding both dds for as long as you did, you did well, must have been so stressful. I had one of those babies who fed 'constantly', but as you say i mean a lot, every 2 hours or so - not literally constantly!

Ive got her yellow book here and she started on the 50th by 2 weeks she fell to the 9th, followed that until about 28 weeks when she went back up to the 50th then I seem to have given up getting her weighed

I remember though she put on loads of weight and got quiet chubby then when she became more mobile went back to being on the skinny side, the next time I had her weighed at about 1 shes back to the 9th, and I know shes still there because they weighed her at school recently, shes on the 2nd for height so shes just little

sound like she was growing well then!
how/when did you sleep??

we co-slept and she just fed all night so at least I had a full nights sleep! I just woke up in exactly the same position i went to sleep in

with dd2 when we where co-sleeping I she used to wake up and I had to put her back on so I got slightly less sleep

I have a blissful baby free bed now with pillows and a quilt and everything

i co sleep with d but never sleep that well, snuffling, wriggling, losing the latch, nappy changes....and then there's her problems

thats what dd2 was like dd1 just fed and fed and I just slept!

Blimey, I don't know how you managed really!

I don't know what was up with DDI- unless like stealthpolarbear says, her latch was not quite right, which had a knock on effect on milk supply??

Did you ever try cranial osteopathy? That helped my friend's very unsettled baby.

Constant feeding for such a long time is unusual and you must have amazing stamina .

I think I might have found the reason! She is waiting to be assessed for dyspraxia and apparently the earliest signs are feeding problems and extreme fussiness when babies I think this counted as both

Wow, never knew that!
Good to have a possible answer . Hope her assessment goes well. How old is she now?

shes nearly 6. We seem to have been waiting for the assessment forever, but I didnt know that either.

I just hope that if I ever have dc3 having an idea of what might have caused it might give me more confidence about b feeding

I should think you'd be a bit of an expert after all that