feeding my 3 week old

[willowstar]

Hello

I am looking for some reassurance I think...this is probably going to be long!

My LO was born 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I have bungled through this period with a mixture of good and bad advice which was not at all helped by me reading Gina Ford while pregnant and expecting her to feed for a little while then settle...she is nothing like this and I realised within a week or so that she needed to be fed and held a lot more than I was doing. So...now we are in the situation when I am feeding on demand, but she is demanding enormous amounts at a time but is falling asleep on me and not making much of an effort.

So, for example, this morning she woke up and fed at 7:15. She dosed off after about 20 mins. then snapped awake so had nappy change and second breast...then continued to feed until 10 when I finally managed to settle her for a nap by sticking my finger in her mouth for her to suck. She woke 20 mins later and fed until 12. In that time she does off several times but the moment I move her to put her down she is wide awake again. I finally settled her just now by waiting until she was asleep, putting her in bed and when she stirred I put on the vacuum cleaner. This may sound horrible but I really wanted her to sleep and also needed to get some lunch sorted out for me.

She seems to really need to suck. I tried a dummy 2 nights ago and it made a big difference, but I think it affected her latch as it was very sore yesterday so this isn't an option, at least not for now.

Any suggestions? Just not sure what is going on and getting sore nipples and worried that she isn't getting enough sleep.

Sorry this is long, I just so want to get things right but a baby who feeds for hours (it will happen again when she wakes up and again at night) doesn't seem right, does it???

Is she gaining weight?

I believe the recommended guidance for bf babies is to wait until at least 4 weeks until trying a dummy to avoid dummy/nipple confusion.

It sounds well within the normal spectrum to be honest - some babies just like the snuggly closeness of that contact. Will she settle if you do anything else i.e put her in the pram and walk round the block until she is asleep, if she has just finished a big feed?

I don't know if your DD will do this, but DS fed for hours at a time, while he was asleep (yes, he really was feeding - if slowly!). He got sleep and milk that way.

If you have the choice, can you just take to bed / camp out in front of the TV and let her stay latched on as long as she wants?

DS fed for hours for the first few weeks - perhaps 10 or 12, but most people find it starts improving at about 6 weeks.

If you can learn to feed in a sling, that will help you feel like you've got a bit of a problem with spending too long sitting down.

DS used to be better in the mornings so we would go out for a walk / a bit of shopping then and camp out in front of the TV later on.

Also, when I got sore nipples it generally helped to unlatch him and let him re-latch as he would slip back a bit as he was dozing.

HTH. It might not be what you want to hear, but mumsnet telling me to just sit back and enjoy the snuggly time together was what got me through those first weeks, and now DS is 21mo, I'm really glad I did

Hi, my DD is 3 weeks, and is as you describe! I have found that I have to take her out for a walk in the pram or in the car to get her to sleep.

But, just now I have been brave, and let her just cry herself to sleep. She cried for only two minutes as she was so tired. But, if I feed her to sleep she just wakes up when I move her and we have to start the whole thing over again.

This is my second DC. It will get better!

DD was also as you describe for the first few weeks. The finger sucking (her on my finger) worked for us until I fell asleep one night and awoke to the sound of her choking - scared myself half to death
I desperately wanted breastfeeding to work for us, so I gave in to it all eventually and then we used to spend an awful lot of the day just snuggled up either in or on the bed, watching TV and continually feeding. If she fell asleep I'd leave her on the bed out of harms way. I'd manage to sneak off to make a quick brew every now and again, but not much more until DP came home from work. No proper housework got done in that time TBH except a very brief flick around with the hoover once a week. I started having a monster breakfast to keep me going during the day - most days I wouldn't get much more.
Anyway, she's remarkably fast now (14 weeks) the long sucky phase is long gone (presumably until the next growth spurt ). It started to improve gradually around 5 weeks for us.
I always keep the house "noisy" during the daytime so either the radio or TV is on even when she sleeps - I didn't want her to need silence to sleep or I'd get nowt done. It's only silent here at night and maybe it helps her differentiate between night and day - she's a very good sleeper.
I suffered terribly with sore nipples. Lansinoh helped but mine were fixed by using whisky . Tiktok would be horrified but a midwife recommended it and it worked for me within 24 hours I would dab it on with cotton wool after feeding and wipe off with water and cotton wool before feeding.
I use a sling for DD - she seems to enjoy the closeness - I bought a Close sling which is fab and also picked up a Baby Bjorn on ebay for less than a fiver and honestly it's been a bloody Godsend - she loves being in it and regularly falls asleep. I can't do all my jobs with her strapped to me but I'm surprised what I can get done

Hi

my ds is 17 weeks now and i remember when i used to spend hours with him attached to my breast and dozing in between in the first few weeks. most days I couldnt even put him down til the afternoon and had to even take him to the toilet with me! i mostly spent that time infront of the tv, don't even worry about the hoover!! i sympathise it feels terribly restricting and of course is exhausting but it will get better. From the hours he used to take he now gulps down his feed in about 10 minutes. although i did give him a dummy at around 3 weeks and he's been fine with it and latching on.
but until 6 weeks my nipples were sore, which i think is to be expected to some extent, i think as his mouth got bigger and he got better at latching on things healed up and now he even latches on in mid air as im swapping him over!

I have a close baby sling which my ds loves. Sends him straight to sleep and I have two hands to make lunch!

thanks everyone...I think it is a bit to do with me accepting my new role too...suddenly I have a whole other job which is more that full time!!! I have a million things to do in the house (we are renovating) which I have to just let go of until she is a bit older and just spend my time with her, getting her established, making her feel secure etc...I feel better reading these responces as I don't know any other babies like mine and thought I must be doing something wrong.

I have ordered a Kari-Me sling, can't wait for it to arrive now so I can lug her around with me, I think she will like that.

thanks everyone.

willowstar - great choice. My Kari-Me enabled me to go to the loo without stress in those early weeks!

It is only a few weeks, a tiny amount of time in the scheme of things, and it'll be gone before you know it!

My little mantra all the time is "She will never be this little again" - over and over again. Helped remind me in those early days that it passes very quickly in the scheme of things