Help feeling exhausted-need support

[Sophie1106]

Hi

You've heard it all before I expect- I have a 15 week old baby that has cluster fed every evening since she was born pretty much- it was ok for a while as it used to mean she would sleep through until about 5am. She was also happily mixing 2 ff feeds a day with breastfeeding which meant I could get some time to myself. She is now refusing ff and has started waking more often in the night. We think she no longer likes the taste of the ff as we bottle fed some EBM yesterday and she took it. I will continue to try this.Part of me says that if she got more food during the day then this wouldn't happen( i.e should be getting her up earlier in the morning) but I am so exhausted that I need the extra sleep and she will often sleep in the mornings. Just feeling very low- can't talk to other mums because they all seem to have a worse time of it really and I know I should be grateful as she is fairly text book in all other ways. Just desperatelt need more sleep/time to myself and feel like i'm running on empty. Can't see any immediate solutions. I'm such a moody cow at the moment my DH spends all his time on egg shells.Really hoping someone can empathise....thanks.

Ok 4 months is hard with a bf baby - they seem to have a growth spurt around now and need to feed alot. It's exhausting, I know. But it will get better, honestly.

What really helped me was to let go of my expectations about how things should be. Accept baby will be up in the night, catch up on sleep during the day. Be kind to yourself. If you are really tired, a walk helps ( and chocolate.)

This is just how it is. X

yes you're prob right but why is it that everyone else's baby sleeps all night and goes to bed quite happily at 7pm right through until 7am the next day? or that's how it seems. To be honest i've never noticed much of a growth spurt difference as she's always breastfed pretty much every 2 hours and cluster fed in evenings apart from the odd night. I would love to just accept it- i find it hard to accept i can't get any time to myself.I can't really catch up on sleep as she'll only sleep for max half hour during nap times. If i only knew that she would grow out of the cluster feeding and take enough food during the day and go back to bottles it would be enough. BF is v. hard work and I have to say I don't think I would do it with a second. I think it would be impossible. Thanks for your post xx

Hey it is hard at 4 months, gosh I have now forgotten how hard it is but on reading your post I can empathise.

Are there any bf cafes/help groups nearby? If there are any bf helpers/peer supporters there, they can listen to you and help you work out how to deal with it. Alternatively there's the national bf helpline 0300 100 0212. Its easy to feel you have it ok relative to others who have it much worse, but you are having a hard time and you deserve some help and support, and there are people there ready to give it...

Can you lie down to feed? I found in the early days because my baby was too floppy, but I think I cracked it around 4 months and from then on every feed I did at home was in bed!!!
good luck

Can you feed in bed? I am having a lovely afternoon snuggling in bed with dd3 feeding and tapping away on iPhone, just had a nap. Also I tend to have dd3 in bed with me at night and just feed her while dozing.

If it helps I know noone whose baby has slept through at this age and even if yours did now, there is teething, weaning, winter colds and coughs etc which will all disrupt sleep.

Like I said, be kind to yourself, try to take it in your stride and accept you are going to be tired and a bit desperate sometimes.

Also weaning makes a bit difference in that you can leave baby for longer and start to feel yourself again. Just try to keep it together for the next few months.

You are doing really well btw

Everyone else's baby does NOT sleep 7-7 every night, I promise you And even if they do at 4m or 5m or 10m it does not mean that they will continue to do it. The worst sleeper I know at 3y is a little girl who slept through at a very young age. It is hard and you are doing fine, honestly.