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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Extended breastfeeders - come and answer my 1 question poll

80 replies

theyoungvisiter · 25/07/2009 20:02

I've read a number of posts recently from extended breastfeeders who mentioned that they've pretty much had enough, but their kids are keen to carry on.

I thought it was an interesting contrast to the stereotype that extended bfers are just needy mums are forcing breastmilk down their protesting children's throats.

So my 1 question poll, if there was a magic button to make your child/toddler self-wean, would you press it? At what age?

Or, if you've stopped bfing but used to be an extended breast-feeder, would you have pressed it and if so at what age?

OP posts:
Cadmum · 26/07/2009 08:05

I would push it today!

Dd2 is 3 and only feeds very occasionally but I have absolutely had enough.

I think that 2 1/2 is really my limit but we have moved frequently and dd2 was quite dependent on the guaranteed quality time with mummy. (Thankfully she has only fed at home from about 20 months.)

flimflammum · 26/07/2009 08:37

I pressed the button the day after DS's second birthday. I was 7 months pg and knew I wan't up for tandem feeding, and also didn't want to stop feeding DS just before new baby came along, as that would obviously make the jealousy worse. I just told him he was a big boy now etc and it would have been fine (it was only twice a day) except he got ill a few days later, and then wanted it again. I stuck to my resolve as I didn't want to give a mixed message about it, but felt horribly mean.

DD, on the other hand, is just self-weaning now at the age of 20 months, and I'm quite happy about that. She had already refused booby at bedtime for some time, and was only having it if she woke in the night, for comfort, now and again. I've just realised that I haven't fed her for about a week, so that's probably going to be it.

I'm quite happy to be getting my body back again, tbh.

kidcreoleandthecoconuts · 26/07/2009 09:07

I bf my DD until 17 months, I actually stopped this week. DD was getting to the point where she didn't seem to be bothered whether I fed her or not. And I felt the same....I thought I'd feel upset at stopping but I don't at all. i think I saw an opportunity and took it. If I had carried on feeding it may have got to the point where she would become reliant on it and it would be harder to stop the older she became.

Hulla · 26/07/2009 09:11

Thanks WMMC, I can understand why that would be hard.

PuzzleRocks · 26/07/2009 09:56

After no milk yesterday DD1 woke in the night and asked for a feed. I obliged but she still threw a tantrum when her sister woke and I had to feed her. Now I just don't know what to do.
She also fed this morning like it was the last meal of a condemned man.

VulpusinaWilfsuit · 26/07/2009 10:15

Yes. Now (at 23 months). And would have pushed the button about 6 m ago TBH.

Though a teeny tiny bit of me thinking about swine flu is wondering whether carrying on might be better.

But every day I wish I could wean him off his love of LoLo. We have cut it down to 'bedtime' though, which equates, when he's not at nursery, to three times a day: once coming in bed with me in morning, once before nap and once at bedtime...

VulpusinaWilfsuit · 26/07/2009 10:23

Have to say also though - having completely stopped BF at 1 y and 6m with older two, I so wish I had carried on with them... I found it relatively easy to just gradually limit feeds away from 'on demand' towards, a few times a day with limits (more if poorly etc)

I had assumed that going back to work it would just not be practical to carry on BF and also I hadn't even considered it. But this time round it has been great. And he is deffo the healthiest of my 3 kids (no constant chest infections or sub-asthma in particular...)

bundle · 26/07/2009 10:25

dd1 was 2
dd2 was just over 3

different strokes for different folks

would never have imagined I'd bf for so long before I actually did it iyswim

LeninGrad · 26/07/2009 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

electra · 26/07/2009 11:11

I breastfed dd2 til she was approaching 3 -- think I would have pressed it then!

FaintlyMacabre · 26/07/2009 16:27

I would definitely press a button to make my 20 month old DS cut down to 3 feeds a day ( morning, nap and bedtime). But I don't think he's ready to wean completely yet. We did (sort of) night wean him a few weeks ago- mostly in an attempt to kick-start my ovaries than because I was fed up of night feeds. It did work, in that I had my first period for 2.5 years. However, the increase in daytime feeds has been marked, and I find daytime feeds are much more hassle than nightfeeds (we co-sleep.)

I don't know when if I'll be ready to stop breastfeeding before he will be- I would like to be pregnant within the next 6 months so I wonder how that will change things (if it happens).

Original poster
theyoungvisiter · 26/07/2009 19:31

thank you for all the replies - I didn't expect to get so many!

It's very interesting - and quite heartening too, to listen to all the different perspectives. It's good to know that there are women out there feeding happily until whenever, and also women who find it's more complicated (as I sometimes do).

OP posts:
pasturesnew · 26/07/2009 19:37

At 20 months, actually stopped 2 years 3 months by saying all gone, he still asks about it now at 2 years 10 months and I am worried he will be put out by new baby soon. I just started to feel a bit manhandled, the latch was all right but he would grab my other boob a lot which I didn't enjoy. Also DH was a bit uncomfortable with it when DS could ask for it.

LeonieSoSleepy · 27/07/2009 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LeonieSoSleepy · 27/07/2009 08:56

This reply has been deleted

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StealthPolarBear · 27/07/2009 09:04

well ds is 2y3m and if I'm honest I'd press is now, but that's because I'm 8 months pregnant and my nipples are agony.
Otherwise, assuming this pain goes in a month or so then I'm happy to feed as long as he wants. I personally can't see me feeding him past say, 3 and a bit, but I remember saying that about the age he is now so not willing to press that button!

mawbroon · 27/07/2009 09:30

Today is not a press the button day for us. DS has a temperature and is a bit clingy, so this is one of the days that I would be cursing the damned button had I pressed it earlier!!

wahwah · 27/07/2009 15:21

Iwould push button at 2 as I found feeding ds and dd at the same time just too hard. Ds showed no sign of self weaning at 2.6, so I pushed the button for him. Very occasionally he pushes his sister off and latches on for a few seconds, but he's pretty much done.

HoppityBunny · 27/07/2009 16:28

3 years on the birthday dote.

claireybee · 27/07/2009 16:49

DS is only 20 months but I'm starting to hate it

The actual feeding isn't too bad but I can't stand the way he has to fiddle with the other boob, switch from one to the other every 2 seconds, stick his hand down my top every 5 seconds through the day...

I've mostly stopped him feeding through the day but this hasn't at all stopped the constant nipple twiddling.

DS wakes for the day at 5am and spends at least an hour and a half just switching from one boob to the other-I HATE it and have sometimes pushed him off me because I just can't stand another second of it.

He gets really upset if I refuse a feed or stop him playing with my boobs though so I don't know what to do

mawbroon · 27/07/2009 17:01

Claireybee, the twiddling etc is just a phase. I promise you. He will stop if you just leave him to it. I know that when I stopped my ds twiddling, he got really upset. It seems to be an essential part of the bf experience for him. He is happy to compromise now by just putting his hand flat on my other boob which is a relief!!

claireybee · 27/07/2009 17:03

Really? I hope so...he's been doing it for months now

puffylovett · 27/07/2009 17:07

i bfed till i fell pregnant, which was about 20 months, he still has the odd feed but not getting anything I don't think.

TBH I would've happily continued feeding had I not fallen preg, it's only now that faced with the prospect of bfeeding for another 2 years at least that I'm thinking, maybe I'lljust formula feed - I WANT MY BOOBS BACK !

PiggyPenguin · 27/07/2009 17:10

I stopped at 20 months with dd, we just moved onto cow's milk one feed at a time and did it really gradually. I think it is harder if you leave it longer. Ds2 is currently 13 months and I have no immediate plans to stop but will before he is 2.

My dnephew at 3.5 refused to stop and continually pulled his mum's top down during the day, and was very upset if she refused. In the end she got desperate and started to put marmite on her nipples so they tasted funny. It did work!

cazzybabs · 27/07/2009 17:12

about 2 - dh has had enough by then and wants them back as his and I don't like feeding in public by then --- get odd looks when they pull up your jumper and they themselves are all wriggly and on/off