Extended breastfeeders - come and answer my 1 question poll

[theyoungvisiter]

I've read a number of posts recently from extended breastfeeders who mentioned that they've pretty much had enough, but their kids are keen to carry on.

I thought it was an interesting contrast to the stereotype that extended bfers are just needy mums are forcing breastmilk down their protesting children's throats.

So my 1 question poll, if there was a magic button to make your child/toddler self-wean, would you press it? At what age?

Or, if you've stopped bfing but used to be an extended breast-feeder, would you have pressed it and if so at what age?

LeninGrad, it absolutely did for me. I'm sure you will be fine.

A bonus to feeding two was when I became painfully engorged I had DD1 to help out.

oo yes, that brilliant toddler-suck when you are burstingly engorged! I had forgotten that. The relief almost cancelled out the pregnancy pain

I would press it now. 13 months and I'm 3 months pg. Very impressed with those of you managing to keep feeding throughout - it's already driving me up the wall.

I don't know why it was so easy, tbh. He was still having a morning and bedtime feed and seemed pretty attached to them. DH and I went away for 2 nights so he obviously didn;t have any while I wasn't there so the night we came back and he asked for it at bedtime I just said 'Oh you've drunk it all, there's no milkies left' and he just sort of said 'Oh', snuggled into me, had a cuddle and went to sleep. He didn;t even ask on the second night, asked the 3rd night but accepted it as soon as I said no and never asked again.

If he'd shown any sign at all of being upset or wanting to carry on I would have let him, like you all say, it's such an easy source of comfort for all sorts of ills but he's just as happy with an ordinary cuddle these days so I'm happy that we gave up at a mutually good time.

Hulla well the thing is, it happened for us gradually, she went down to one feed a day, then missed a day, came back, then two days, now we are up to five days and actually, you keep thinking that they will ask today and then feeling strangely rejected that they don't.

Especially when DD climbs up for a cuddle and she looks at my boobs and then she goes to say something and then stops.

Would definitely have pressed it, probably at 2 and a half. When dd was 2.5 I really thought she would self-wean before too long, but she is 3.9 and still feeding once or twice a day. I've sort of given up on the idea of her self-weaning now and have agreed with her that she can continue until she is 4 and that then she will stop.

It's of course not a huge hardship when it's only 10 minutes a day. If I'm honest, if it were more socially acceptable I expect I would be happy to let her self-wean whenever. But it is difficult to explain to a child that saying things like "mummy I love your milky bosoms" is not so good when you're having lunch with the inlaws, without giving the message that there is something bad about the whole thing.

I think I would press the button just about now also. DS is 2.2 and I am 23 weeks pg so its a bit painful. I also had to count to 10 tonight and then tell him it was cuddle time, which he accepted happily (we only got to 4) and asked for some milk (cows milk) which I went away to get, and he was happy with that.

I'm a bit worried about having a new baby who wants to feed all the time and DS feeling left out or jealous of the baby because he's not getting the same.

I would press it now too. Ds is 2.6 and I'm also nursing dd who's 5 months. I force weaned him during pg (and then nursed him when he asked to after dd was born) and with hindsight I wish I'd carried on regardless of the pain. I am really not enjoying bf-ing at the moment and really don't enjoy feeling like a martyr to my breasts!

2.5 seems to be about the average button moment so far. Where are all these women levering their children's mouths open with crow bars then?

UrbanDryad, so sorry to hear it's still not going too well. Did the pink milk help at all?

I'm happy just to continue as long as dd wants - so no need for a magic button.

I pressed the button when DS1 was 20 months. I was 4 months pregnant and finding it excruciating. He was only feeding in the morning and at bedtime so I distracted him for a couple of days and he seemed to forget pretty quickly. He only asked once or twice in the following few days and wasn't too upset to be told no. I would have carried on if he'd been really upset but like someone else said,it seemed like a mutually acceptable time and I'm really happy that it happened when it did.

He did ask to nurse when DS2 was a few days old, I just said that big boys drank from cups and did he want some milk in a cup? (He had previously totally refused cows' milk.) He said yes and now will happily drink cows' milk, so that's a win!

TYV - he won't touch it. He does have a drink of milk from a cup before bed but then wants his milkies too.

We are having some success with, "Milkies is a sleepytime drink," (ie only for before and after bed/naptime) for when he asks in the day, but I'm still struggling with mornings when he wants to nurse at the same time as dd, but I just keep repeating, "This too shall pass," and I know we'll get through it eventually!

Makes me soooo mad when people tell me I'm only doing it for my own benefit!

I would press it at somewhere between 2 and 3 yrs old.DD is 22 months and I am 18 weeks pregnant and althought feeding was painful in the 1st trimester, I am finding it ok at the moment.

I am hoping that tandem feeding will not be too
difficult and that I will be able juggle two of them as the thought is making me a bit nervous at the moment.

I don't think I would press it, no.

Ds2 is 2y9m and still bfing. I thought I would like to let him self-wean, but when he chose not to feed I felt bereft. But OTOH there were times when I was begining to feel fed up with bfing, and wanted to encourage him to wean. Very mixed-up. I didn't feel quite so strongly about this with dd, but then ds2 will be my last baby.

A few weeks ago I cut his hair with clippers, and suddenly he looks like a boy, not a toddler. Two weeks ago he toilet-trained. Suddenly I do'nt feel like I'm feeding a baby any more, and when he chooses not to feed I don't mind. Suddenly I know that I was right not to wean him actively. Everything will fall into place at the right time.

Can I ask you ladies a quick question? At what point do you become an 'extended bfer'? DS is 10mths now and still enjoying his boobie. I intend to feed him till he's around 2yrs ish. Sorry for highjack.

I would have pressed it when she was about 1 year or 18 months. My dd loved boob and wanted it all the time and wouldn't eat much solid food, I felt like she was permanently clamped to my nipple! I'd really had enough by around 2 years and prised her off. She wasn;t very impressed now but settled for putting her cheeks against them and lots of cuddles!

Gwarch - at the point when others think you're weird for still bfing.

There's nothing 'extended' about feeding into toddlerhood and pre-schoolerdom. We're only doing what we and our dcs are designed to do. It's people who stop at 6m who are doing 'curtailed' feeding!

This is a tricky question.

I was ready to wean ds when he was about 2. I thought I had done my bit and he would be fine and I could get on with ttc no2 (breastfeeding shortened my luteal phase to the point where I couldn't conceive).

But, a couple of months before his 2nd birthday, he developed a dairy intolerence, so that was the main reason I decided to carry on, as well as the fact that I know he would have been having none of it!!

He is 3.9yo now, and some days I would cheerfully press the button!!! I reckon if the button could also cure his dairy intolernce then I would probably have pressed it long ago.

If there was a seperate night feeding button, I would have pressed it at about 2 weeks.

lol Leningrad.

What do you have to do to get parole?