Help-4 wk old that won't concentrate long enough to feed properly!

[Sophie1106]

Hi Ladies

Hoping someone knows what's going on-at about the same time every day (between 11 and 3 i'd say)she will feed for a couple of minutes and then start looking around and then i'll put her down and then she'll cry for food and the same thing repeats itself over and over until she'll finally have a small suck and nod off. The amount of time between each encounter at the breast can vary from a couple of minutes to half an hour or more(she can fall asleep for a bit)She seems so distracted by everything around her. I'm now doubting myself that she's actually hungry/ thirsty as today she virtually puked back up everything she took down.There's also the added pressure that because we've been giving her a bottle once a day she seems to have got used to that and now doesnt really want to work for her food on the breast and I startde breast compression yesterday. Although today completely the opposite seems to have happened with the flow now seeming too fast for her so if she's not distracted by something else she's pulling off because my flow is either too fast/ slow.

Really confused by all of this-can anyone shed any light as feeling v. frustrated.

Can you hold off the bottle feeding for a little while. From what I remember NCT recommend avoiding the bottle for at least 6 weeks after birth, will get her better accustomed to 'working harder' for the good stuff! My DD used to fall asleep on the boob, so I had to tickle her to keep her awake. Have you considered leaving her to cry for a short while after she has had one of her micro-feeds? I do mean a short time - she might cotton on to the idea that she has to concentrate a bit! Good luck with it, I also found NCT helpline very re-assuring.

Sounds like she isn't really hungry maybe doing it more as a comfort thing ?

When she starts to grumble don't pick her up straight away - you might find she just settles by herself when she finds something interesting to look at - if she carries on then check everything else that could be first before feeding (nappy, too hot/cold etc). With my first I always went for food first so no1 was a bit of a chubby fellow....now on no3 (3.5mths) and by the time I've got round to his crying he's often stopped unless he really is actually hungry then he doesn't stop

Also, I find a muslin over the head as they feed works quite well - easiest thing is to tuck a corner under your bra strap at the shoulder and drap it over their head - they then don't have anything else to look at/get distracted by !

Also thing holding off on a bottle until you've really got the bfding nailed would be a good idea. Both for baby and for getting your supply/flow well established. If you think she's breaking off beacuse youre flow is too slow that may have something to do with the bottle - she doesn't have to wait for the let-down to kick in so can make babies lazy & impatient

My little once sometimes get caught out especially if he's skipped a feed for some reason and I'm full to bursting - his eyes go really wide and you can hear he's forgotten to or just can't get a breath in then he'll break off spluttering milk everywhere.

Try contacting your local NCT breastfeeding councillor - I have always found themto be really helpful.

Hiya

thanks for your advice . everything you said makes sense. I had a visit from the bf counsillor yesterday who was lovely. She also suggested avoiding bottle bit it seems also that it's not the milk flow that's the problem it's the fact that my boob is too hard for her mouth which is uncomfortable and she doesn't like it. So now i have to express more before feeding to soften things up a bit. I had screaming all night last night every time she went to the boob even though she was hungry- it was a nightmare until i realised!and then calm...

It also seems that the distraction was her way of getting out of getting on the boob when she wasn't really hungry but just wanted comforting- so it seems i have a sling baby who likes lots of cuddles! We have put her back to sleep in her moses basket in our room and she doesnt cry at night for 'food'(not but a cuddle) as she was in her nursery due to the amount of newborn gruntng she did in the first few weeks(no sleep). she just grunts loudly and it was only once!

Thanks for all your help and I couldn't praise the bf councillor enough for her help. She was lovely- didn't force anything on us but just made us think. We were worried about her being too attched but realy she is too young for that and just wants her mum.