i saw a real life hooter-hider

[wahwah1270]

in an uber baby friendly south london pub today, the sort of place where no one bats an eyelid that i feed one year old dd, a woman put this ridiculous lime green hooter hider on to feed her young baby son. if she hadnt worn the hooter hider i doubt i'd have noticed her feeding. i sooooooooo wanted to tell her not to bother with it but bit my tongue. am i alone in not getting the hooter hider concept?

I agree with Boffinmum, I think the growth and promotion of these products is really problematic. Sadly marketeers do not simply notice a need and then supply it, they actively create need too. It's all about gaps in the market and expanding product portfolios.

Of course there is nothing wrong with feeding your child however you wish, but if everyone is sold on the idea that showing your nipple for a few seconds or your flesh for a little longer is a terrible thing even in the context of feeding your child then I think that takes away a great deal of one of the key advantages of breastfeeding (simplicity), making people more stressed and fearful, not less. I also think there is a significant risk that such covers will become required or at least a strong societal norm like make up or shaving, things that many women now feel are absolutely essential.

The 'Hooter Hider' name is indeed hideous.
And I'd rather they also came in plain colours like black and navy so as to blend in with winter clothing rather than whizzy patterns.

But still a million times better than having to lift up my top and expose my sore squirty breasts and wobbly white cold tummy whilst I grapple with a sticky muslin and a wriggling, pulling baby (yes, I have watched my SIL do this).

BTW am I right in thinking dark colours will hide squirts and stains better?

Also am moving to hot country when DC1 is 12 weeks so will mean I can wear light sundresses etc and not have to wear endless layers or funny BF tops. 35 quid for an item I will probably use at least once a day is good value: I have things I paid more for and wear far less, and I expect most other women do too.

I will be BF-ing (hopefully) because it is best for me and my baby, not to make a political statement. If I want to make political statements, I will, and I do, but I'd rather not have to make them semi-topless, when I am tired, stressed and vulnerable.

And if anyone had the temerity to give me shit for wearing a cover and feeding, I'd make a political statement by telling them to fuck right off.

Mine was from Mothercare and called bebe au lait... NOT a "hooted hider" FFS. And a nursing cover!!

When I was pg bottles were heavily marketed everywhere I went. And handy little on the go formula powder holders... Yet, shockingly, I didn't see them as a must have essential, but as a choice that existed if needed. I also viewed the nursing cover this way....

And didn't buy it until I had ds... I saw several women freely bfing at his point, I was proud to bf, just had my OWN reasons for wanting the cover. Should I have worn a sign explaining those reasons so that someone, another bf mother no less, wouldn't think "oh that's prissy" ?!?!

Pregnant women are not idiots and can make informed choices and do what is best for them. Yes, advertising is powerful but it is in every facet of our lives and we learn to filter throughout our lives. You speak as though a pg woman can't think for herself once faced with advertising.

This gem is on the Bebe au Lait website

"Bebe au Lait was recently mentioned on The View, a popular daytime TV show featuring Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar, Sherri Shepherd, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. The episode of What Would You Do? featured a woman breastfeeding in a cafe, where several people expressed their disapproval to her. The ladies on The View discussed the situation at which point Elisabeth Hasselbeck encouraged breastfeeding mothers to use Hooter Hiders."

Why not encourage them to tell the interfering people to bog off ?

I went out with another BFing friend when DD was about 2 months old and we were both feeding in the cafe (very baby friendly place). She had recently been given one of these apron things and despite being a proud public BFer of two chidren she put it on to feed her DS2 as she had fallen in love with the fabric. The stupid thing drew far more attention than if she had just lifted her top. DH said that it was obvious she was feeding but he hadn't realised I was - and he was sitting next to me !

I think these things are a bad idea as you don't practise discreet feeding in public - I don't like waving my boobs around so feed as discreetly as possible. If I had one of these things I would never have leart to do that as you rely on the cover to provide modesty. At least I don't have to worry about forgetting it

I have a couple of maxidresses that I have to fold down to feed - I just use a cardigan and a strageically placed muslin to secure my modesty

I would have used one with my first born, had i known they existed.
it took about 4 months of blood, sweat and tears to get the technique right.
i had to have access to the whole breast, and go through all the steps one by one to get the latch right.
was home alone a lot of the time.

anything that raises awareness of bf is great.
the tents are great for the early days.
must be quite tranquil for baby to be in its own little space with mum.

Miffster - "I will be BF-ing (hopefully) because it is best for me and my baby, not to make a political statement. If I want to make political statements, I will, and I do, but I'd rather not have to make them semi-topless, when I am tired, stressed and vulnerable.

And if anyone had the temerity to give me shit for wearing a cover and feeding, I'd make a political statement by telling them to fuck right off."

That's brightened my morning! Totally agree. And katerum, the danger of ending up feeding at home alone is a really important consideration, I think. If it's a choice between that, with the likelihood of becoming miserably isolated and discouraged, versus wearing something - anything - that makes a woman feel more comfortable about feeding in public, and which gives her a bit more freedom as a result... well, come on.

There are lot of inconsistent attitudes on this thread. Someone who uses a 'cover up' seems to be derided for being both overly 'modest', AND 'drawing attention' to herself at the same time. I'm also not getting the 'these cover ups are ridiculous! I use a muslin' arguments. So... you are covering up, then? And I'm guessing you bought the muslin...?

And that's FINE. Nothing wrong with it! The more every BF-ing mother can do what suits her best, and makes her happiest, the more she's likely to keep BF-ing. The more hoops she has to jump through to satisfy someone else's agenda, the harder it gets.

Of course there are inconsistencies, MN is not one person, it is made up of a whole bunch of different types some who agree on some things and disagree on others even within the same topic.

True Morloth. But it's just plain hypocritical to say you support bf and would support any woman to bf, then say their choice to use a cover is "ridiculous" and poke fun and hahaha over it. They need to leave the playground.

I think it's great. I used a muslin sheet to feed my son, (first two were twins) and I felt comfortable this way. I live and work locally as a secondary school teacher and wouldn't have relished the thought of breastfeeding in my local coffee shop with the prospect of bumping into pupils. Anything that encourages breast feeding should be welcomed.

There are inconsistencies within single posts though, as per the muslin vs hooter hider type comment that barkfox paraphrases.

Excellent point CakeandRoses and StarExpat, I will agree that those posts don't make a lot of sense.

Sorry Morloth, I wasn't clear -

I do understand what a forum is, and that there are different views (of course....) -

I meant there are inconsistencies within individual posts, and from individual posters. Quite a few posts about how daft people think the structured cover ups are, which then move seamlessly onto the individual poster's different covering up arrangements. Which are often quite complex and well evolved. And good luck to them, if they've found what suits them.

Actually, if you look at the OP's opening post... she seems to criticise the women for wearing something that (in her view) makes her BF-ing conspicuous, whereas what she does in comparison is so discreet 'nobody bats an eyelid.'

I think that's a bit contradictory (invisible breastfeeding is best?) and it's not really clear what she's attacking the woman for.

Yes, muslin or discreet feeding or using a purposely designed nursing cover... It's all intended to do the same thing.
Women who have no issue being exposed while bf, that's great for them. We don't all have to feel the same way.

I'm not telling anyone who chooses not to use any cover that they are ridiculous or "wrong" or poke fun at their choice.

Sorry, not read all 9 pages (!) but I used a hooter hider equivalent. DD and I really struggled in the early weeks of BFing and it took a lot for us to keep going. I think it was her small mouth (she was only 6lbs) vs a large nipple - she was on/off the breast loads and I would therefore flash quite a bit trying to get her to latch back on. It might have flagged me up as BFing while in Starbucks but I felt more comfortable knowing I didn't need to be discrete underneath.

I only used it for a few months (or fed in BFing rooms without it). Once DD was bigger she covered me up more and will latch on and stay on until she's done. Plus I'm better at choosing clothing that's better for covering me when I'm BFing DD.

It had a real purpose for me but we didn't use it long (although do use it as a fabric shade on the buggy now!)

I just used to stick her up my jumper. Not sure why there needs to be a product.

I have a black one in my bag but have yet to use it - DD2 13 weeks old. Bought it cheap off ebay.

Have BF in public a handful of times and have felt quite 'exposed' - people have (in a nice way) gone ooh and aah, smiling, thumbs up etc. Never had this attention with DD1. I am clearly not discrete, unless I have an uber cute baba

I was in IKEA the other day, and they had a 'baby oasis' - tiny little area behind a partition. I thought I would go in to get a bit of peace, but had at least half a dozen little visitors peeking at me out of curiosity no doubt. DH suggested selling tickets. If a grown-up had appeared, he would have 'bashed 'em'!

I nearly used the cover when MIL was visiting (2 weeks when baba was tiny) as she was embarrassed by me feeding, but thankfully I did not give in. She would squirm the whole time, but was clearly too lazy to get off her fat arse and leave the room.

I don't use one. But I often thought it would be good to stop my nosy 7 month old from yanking off my nipple every two seconds to investigate every slight sound or movement in the background.

Covering up isn't always about shame.

I've read through the thread and I think if one of those hooter hider things help you to feel comfy with breastfeeding in public, then why the hell not.

I've seen the mamascarf which to me looks quite nice. I'd probably end up using something like that just to get myself used to the idea of feeding in public.

I don't understand why you have to buy a product for this - can't you just use a wide scarf like a pashmina? Or any big bit of fabric?

Addie you don't have to buy it but having tried the muslin or pashmina as well, the bebe au lait nursing cover is very well designed with an opening at the top and it just slides over your head And on your neck and stays there. You don't have to adjust or keep lifting it to see the baby or have it fall off ... Etc. It's not necessary just (for me) loads easier... And since everything else about bf was so difficult for me, I appreciated the product.

If you wear loose tops or jumpers and have smallish breasts then it is easy to bf everywhere without anyone batting an eyelid,but if like me you are a G cup and are trying to undo the buttons on an old fitted 40's frock while wrestling with a baby who keeps latching off to look at the man sitting accross from you,then a cover is a real help.DD was in her little cocoon under the cover,but could see me,and I could relax if she was having problems latching as I knew my whole naked G cup breast wouldn't be flashed at all and sundry.I don't have any problem with other women getting their breasts out and naked to bf if they want to,I've seen a friend do this and it is a beautiful sight,but I had never gone topless on the beach,I was needing time to get used to quite how enormous my bosom had become,and I sometimes felt awkward feeding in places were there were a lot of men,like busy cafes or shops,and Ialso can't listen to a crying baby and ignore it while I find somewhere more peaceful to feed,I need to feed that baby right away! I remember sitting on a bench in London Zoo,and feeding DD2 under the nursing cover,and feeling really happy and relaxed (and a bit warmer as it was a chilly day!!).I am just happy to see any woman bf her baby or toddler,I don't see why anyone would think her wierd for having a little cover or shawl around her and her child.What is the issue here?

I generally have no problem with BFing my 7 month old in public at all and have never had any negative experiences, but God I wish I'd had one of these this afternoon.

First afternoon of the holidays, sitting feeding dd at the local nature centre (think small zoo type place) when 12 yr old boy looking at the monkeys with his dad and two sisters turns around, points straight at me and says dad, that's mrs... my French teacher. I just nodded and vaguely smiled as dd decides it's the perfect moment to unlatch and look around to see what's happening.

So not only have I now flashed a child I teach, but I have also flashed his dad - And I teach him again next year - can't wait for parents' evening...

I don't get the problem with these, I'm still feeding now at 11 months and wouldn't bother now, but I might have used one earlier, not because I'm shy (that left when I staggered starkers from my failed water birth to an emergency c section and a cheery room full of strangers) but anything that would have helped DS feed during that dreadful distractable period at around five months. In the end we had to stay in for feeds and even then he'd only take a decent meal in a dark room. Not fun.

Oooh and whoever thought dark colours would be the ones to buy to hide stains well. Mwah ha ha... the colour you want this in is cheesy off white. Black makes each posset positively vibrant!

I didn't use one and do think that they make feeding less discrete than just getting on with it

BUT I think its an absolute disgrace how OTHER WOMEN slag off new mums who choose to feed this way, leave them be! FGS they've just had a baby - whatever makes their lives easier or happier!

I think if I'd known about them I would have liked one for the first 3 weeks when getting LO latched on took ages and had to keep being re done, I would have ditched it one we both got the hang of feeding, and I've never seen one used to feed an older child, just new babies. They might not be sure of what they're doing and might have very sore cracked infected nipples/breasts that they are not ready to bare to the world!

If these things help women who are not quite on top of the whole BFing business yet get out and about then its a great invention!

I found it particularly useful at the 6m distractable stage.And when dd was feeding every two hours and I would drip or spray milk every time she latched off.Contrary to the postings here I don't think it drew attention to me at all.I was feeding her on a sofa in a very crowded IKEA and a man sat really close up next to me chatting to his family.Only when DD accidentally kicked him did he notice I was feeding her and he was really embarrassed and jumped up to give me some room.