i saw a real life hooter-hider

[wahwah1270]

in an uber baby friendly south london pub today, the sort of place where no one bats an eyelid that i feed one year old dd, a woman put this ridiculous lime green hooter hider on to feed her young baby son. if she hadnt worn the hooter hider i doubt i'd have noticed her feeding. i sooooooooo wanted to tell her not to bother with it but bit my tongue. am i alone in not getting the hooter hider concept?

Yes - as per porcamiseria - I posted earlier and said, among other things: -

"...sometimes a well intentioned 'exhorting' comment ('get your boobs out!') etc actually comes across as unwelcome pressure, and can really press the wrong buttons with women who have had sexually coercive experiences, and for whom control over how they expose/conceal their bodies is VERY important."

Polarising the whole issue of BF in public along the lines of 'happy/liberated/unselfconscious' versus 'prudish/repressed/modest/cowed by society's attitudes' etc is just shortsighted. And fails to acknowledge the real and complex issues some of us are dealing with.

I cover up - not because I mind the world seeing my baps (the world saw my baps more often than it ought to have, before I even got pregnant), but because I'm fed up with an easily-distracted baby testing how far my nipples will stretch.

Rabid prudes, you lot. Seriously. IMO.

boffinmum I typically enjoy your posts and quite agree so this thread has been quite surprising. I do understand your worries, however please do understand that women need to be able to make their own choices.

And you referring to people whose backgrounds you have no idea about as "prudes" is just quite unkind.

It never fails to amaze me how many people on MN get all het up about stuff that doesn't affect them in the slightest. I think such people are dull and unimaginative need a more involving activity to occupy their minds. Try macrame.

I can't tell if Boffinmum is joking or not. If she is, it's kind of insensitive, but better than if she isn't.

As a new 1st time mum BF-ing, I'm doing it because I think it's best for my baby. It really is that simple for me. Anyone who wants to jeer at me for being a prude? You go right ahead, if it makes you feel better and gives you that little bit of one-up-mumship you seem to need. Please do make totally unfounded assumptions about my motivation and background. Please make no attempt to understand that different women have different experiences, and that just because you feel a certain way, it doesn't mean all women do too. And please do make it harder for self conscious women to BF in public.If you try hard enough, they will stay at home, socially isolated, miserable and more likely to give up BF-ing. Which won't be best for their baby, but we've sort of lost sight of that, haven't we?

As if BF-ing wasn't hard enough. I've tried to explain myself reasonably, but hey.

Ah well, time to just accept that regardless of what choices we make, there will be People who think we're doing it wrong.

Oooh is there a thread about this thread? Where?

cant find it either!

Well said, barkfox.

I BF my 1st baby and the looks i got from people in public really got to me, so a lot of the time I would hide in toilets to feed him. Which is actually disgusting when you think about it, your child feeding and all you can both smell is toilet.
Im now pregnant with my 2nd and I was contemplating getting one of these apron things bebe au lait? It does feel now that even with one of these people are gonna stare or judge you. I know It shouldnt matter and its whats good for you and your baby but surely making fun of how someone wants to be modest and feel comfortable is not the way to go. Especially when you have mums who arent comfortable with showing their flesh in public and with BF you do have to do this whenever you are out for more than 2 hours. I say we should be congratulating these mothers who BF regardless of how / what they wear.

katie - bit belated but just wanted to say, please do get one. I'm just using mine again for DC2 and love it. I've had several compliments on it from other mothers who've seen me using it.

It's worth shopping around as they vary in design - some are very noticeable as the neck bit stands out a lot whereas mine is a non-branded one made by an ebayer and it looks more like a top. I was bf right in front of someone recently and they asked where the baby was - they hadn't realised that it was a bf cover and she was underneath it!

Using this cover has given me the confidence to bf in situations which I'd have felt too uncomfortable to do it in otherwise. It's useless for me to cover up with things like muslins as my letdown is like a tidal wave and so poor DD is constantly off and on, throwing herself backwards to catch her breath and taking the muslin with her!

My son is only 6 weeks old, but I can honestly say that I've no negative comments or looks from anyone while breastfeeding in public.

Reading this, it does sound like there are only two extreme options: breastfeed under a tent or sit topless breastfeeding!

It is perfectly possible to breastfeed without anyone seeing anything. I fed our son at a party on Saturday and my husband didn't even notice!

MrsGangly - the one I use is far from a tent - it's really just a thin piece of cotton.

As I said above - bf my daughter without showing everything (and showering the place with bm) is nigh on impossible if I don't use my cover, as she doesn't latch on and stay on - she's arching back and forth and sometimes crying too (combo of my over enthusiastic let down and her suffering from reflux).