Am pregnant with no3 and am really desperate to breastfeed this time. I have researched Kellymom, have been to my local baby bistro and met all the peer supporters and got all their numbers and been to the breastfeeding workshop at the hospital.
I have nursing bras, a cushion, lansinoh, breast shields (for emergencies), breast shells and every other feasible accessory.
The thing is I have always had a funny relationship with my boobs. I developed really early and by the time I was 14 I was a 30E. I was sexually active then and very popular .
I was sexually assaulted (although never really thought it was that at the time) almost every day by the boys at school who used to rip off my shirt and grope my boobs. I was also groped twice on the street by male strangers .
I had a breast reduction at 19 on the NHS as I was a bit fucked in the head .
The main reason I didn't persevere with bf with my other two DC, is that is just felt so sexual. It felt exactly the same as how it feels when DH is doing it when we are having sex IYKWIM.
Can I get past this? Does it feel different after a few days?
It just felt so weird and pervy, how can I change my attitude so this doesn't cause me to stop feeding again.