I have one chance to sort DS2 sleep problems and it's tonight. need support and advice pleeeeease

[missingthemountains]

have already posted this under sleep but hoping might get some more responses here..

DS2 is 12months and still waking every 3 hour (on a good night) for breastfeeding. Needless to state I am exhausted (although gratifyingly slim ). DH is disabled so I never have any back up and we don't really have any family anywhere near to give support

However - suddenly tonight my mum is coming up for 3 days so I can recover sleep in the day and my lovely friend has taken DS1 for the night so he isn't disturbed by screaming DS2.

So tonight I MUST start the sleep management but would really like some advice;

since he's normally bf at 10pm, 1am, 4am can I reasonably expect him to drop all feeds at once? I will be offering him water but I know he'll wail and refuse it. I am about to stoke him up on porridge etc etc but I know he'll struggle without the milk

I am such a wimp but really want to be strong about this.

I would not give water as its still a reward for waking. I would have a set time tonight when you are willing to feed 5amish and go cold turkey or half feed tomorrow. I went in at 5,10,15 minute intervals so he never cried for than 30mins, would feed at 30mins if still wailing - it worked in 2 nights. Good luck - could you get your mum to try and do some of the night

thanks - think I will need to give him some fluids cos he is a mouth-breather (due to large adenoids) so gets very dry mouth

hadn't thought of setting a time for the morning feed - good idea though.

can't really get my mum to do any of the night as she's not had a vast amount of contact with him so he doesn't know her and she's not that au fait with babies anymore - she will definitely be more use in the morning - looking after him when I go back to bed!

I can totally empathise. My DS is younger - at 6 months -, but he has started waking several times in the night, screaming. I always feed him as it gets him back to sleep really fast and without fuss.

However, friends have said it is madness to feed him when he wakes as it creates problems for later on (i.e., he will expect a nice bf every time he wakes for the rest of his first year, when he needs to learn to get back to sleep without it). I am confused though as when he does bf at night, he gets on with it quickly and efficiently (far more so than in the day, when he will often stay on the boob for an hour, comfort feeding, if I let him); he sucks continuously and then finishes by himself. This makes me wonder if he is in fact, hungry, and therefore not feeding him at night when he wakes is at best a losing battle and at worst, downright mean.

Any thoughts? He has 5 bfs in the day and 2 solid feeds.

Maybe I should start a new thread about this as it is quite a specific question I guess....