BF technique and gen help

[mummychubb]

I've just had my first baby - born at 34 weeks and in SCBU for 3weeks. We came home 2 wks ago fully BF and he's been doing really well. He's now 4+5 wks old (38+6) but still quite small as a prem baby.

Couple of probs over the last 4 days which have caused many tears - from me and ds, can anyone help:

• I was putting him on the breast by holding him in one arm and holding the breast, making the 'biscuit' in the other and keeping that position through the feed. My HV said i shouldn't hold the breast or cont to make the biscuit through the feed but since not doing that and trying to hold him in one arm he seems to be detaching - it has also started to hurt a bit like i can feel a pull at the nipple but there's no pain per se - is this right, what should i be doing?

• over the last few days he's been feeding very erratically, we came home feeding 4 hrly day and 3 hrly night. its all gone to pot since with him feeding sometimes 2 hrly and then sometimes 5 hrly. we've done all the elevate matress, white noise etc... but i'm not sure what's right anymore. how often should i be feeding and how long?

• we've had a major prob with colic and wind and are now using infacol which is helping. since using it he wont latch on straight away, he messes about, turns his head, pulls his head back with nipple in mouth and generally makes it a nightmare at each feed - this really get me upset esp at night as he's not sleeping in his crib and will only settle on me or dh from 11pm to 5am each night - what can i do to make the BF easier - different hold?? help pls as this makes me most upset at night

• he's started to fall asleep very easily during the feed - we were taught all the usual methods to wake him up, change nappy, stroke face, etc... but after the nappy change he wont stay awake for long and esp if he's on wrong and i take him off he wont go back on - does this mean he's had enough or should i be worried he's not getting enough? he also possets at nearly every feed and is quite difficult to burp - should i be thinking about reflux?

sorry to ask so much in one go but i've reached the end of my teather - it all seems to have stacked up in one go so any help or advice is much appreciated

1.) you should feed him however it is comfortable for you to do so! there is no right or wrong way. if you're happy doing it like you've been doing it then carry on. nice as your HV may be I very much doiubt she has had much breastfeeding training, so go with what works for you

2.) feeding on demand is best. so, however often he wants too really. it's not a great idea to try and stick to a routine as breastmilk is made on a supply and demand basis. so if he needs more milk as he grows he will ask for it more frequently for a while to increase your supply.
that said, at his age I would not be letting him go longer than 4 hrs without a feed.

3.) will wait for someone better informed to give you more advice about the last 2.
reading your third point I did wonder about reflux... he may be unsettled lying down flat? but i am no expert on reflux i'm afraid

I'm sure someone else will be along soon with more technical advice, but I just wanted to add that when my 33 weeker came home from hospital she was in a routine for a few days, and then it all went haywire! She was also quite sleepy and had to be encouraged to feed, with all the methods you're doing. Is he putting on weight well? If so, maybe he's just a quick feeder (remember his tummy is very small). It's quite usual for babies to only need one side at that age.

mummychubb - I don't think your HV is helping.

But I do think a visit to or from someone who knows about breastfeeding will help.

There may be a bf specialist locally or you could call one of the helplines and see if there is anyone who could see you (not a peer supporter - they are great, but their skills are not usually extendable to this sort of situation).

It does not matter a bit that he won't settle in his crib - in fact, it's a good sign he won't as it shows that tiny as he is, he knows what's good for him, and what will overcome the difficult first few weeks, and separation from you, in scbu. It's fine to have him skin to skin and in bed with you, as long as you obey the safe co-sleeping guidance.

Anyway - do call one of the helplines and see if someone can see you.

Thanks for the feedback v reassuring and things seem to be easier to deal with knowing i'm not alone or unusual!

Have gone back to basics on the BF and ds is gaining weight nicely so all i have to get through is the colic which seems to go in fits and spurts.

Am feeding when he asks and this seems to be working!

Thanks again for your help.

You are not alone or unusual in this, mummychub.

To echo some of the others, I found the 'official' positions I'd been taught by the hospital midwives weren't working. By talking to the community midwives (and scouring mumsnet!) I tried different ways of feeding and this worked for us.

Also, I called the NCT helpline (for a different issue - I had thrush which was making feeding difficult - and they were terrific). helplines

Congratulations on your son, by the way.

relax!! you are doing great. it sounds like he is just adjusting to the world.

it is really early days, and you are doing fab to be bf.

keep bf on demand, he will slowly settle into a 'routine'

keep up the infacol if it helps.

use lansinoh on nipps if sore.

try lying in bed all day with him, get lots of rest and skin to skin.

this time is so special, but the days will pass and he will get easier.