Do you think breastfeeding is tiring?

[Daffodilly]

DS (10 weeks) had his 8 week checks today (bit late). He has gained weight from 7lb 14 at birth to 14lb 12 today - he is EBF.

Both HV and doctor commented that this was quite impressive on breastmilk only (esp as we've had problems with feeding) and queried that I hadn't done any top ups. They both said "you must be very tired".

Well...er...yes. I have a 10 week old and an active 2 year old. I've had 10 weeks of broken nights and very full on days. Of course I am KNACKERED!

So do they mean that BFing is tiring of itself - or just cos I am doing all the feeding? Obviously I treated myself to a large slice of cake to fuel the next phase of his growth!

Yes, EBF is exhausting especially with a toddler around too. I can speak from current experience!

I'm not sure what people mean either tbh. I've only ever bf, so I couldn't tell you if the tiredness is due to lack of sleep or bf'ing, or a combination of both.

I think a lot of people think bf'ing drains the life and nutrients out of you. Although it does feel like that sometimes, especially with a newborn

Well done to both of you on the ebf and fabbo weight gain

Yes, bf by itself is extremely tiring.

Bf, not getting a lot of sleep and looking after a 2 year old is beyond tiring! There is no word that could do justice to how I felt when ds1 was about 8 weeks old and ds1 2.8!

It does get better - honest (just brace yourself for the 4 month growth spurt - after that it's plain sailing!)

I think you can feel tired immediately after BFing because of the hormones released during BFing (oxytocin - the same stuff that courses through your body after lovemaking - effectively making you feel bonded to your child and a bit sleepy too).

And clearly your body produces pints of milk if you are exclusively BFing in the first 6 months, so you need to feed it with lots of good nutrients (and, IMHE, lots of "naughty but nice" ones too).

But it's hard to say whether it's just the relentless work of looking after a newborn and a toddler which makes you feel knackered, or if BFing contributes significantly to that weariness. I think if I had had to get up and prepare bottles in the middle of the night, I would have found it harder to get back to sleep etc. And whilst you can share the feeding if you are bottle feeding, if you have a supportive partner, there is no reason why s/he can't take No 1 out to the park whilst your LO naps and you get 40 winks. And do the bulk of the housework during these early months.

So, FWIW, I don't think EBF is more wearing than other forms of rearing your newborn, especially if you have good support at home. I am surprised that your HV and GP have made such comments, which would have undermined my confidence in my ability to BF my DSs. Have faith in yourself, and if you feel tired, cut out the other, less important, drains on your energy...

Good luck, you're doing really well.

TBH, it seems to me it was a throw-away remark, not meant to be analysed in depth. Sort of a way of saying 'well done for EBF, he's doubled his weight, blimey you're doing well' but I agree it could have been better thought out.

That said, I was still exhausted at 10 wks, EBF DS, because he was up every 3 hours and took ages to finish each feed! It's a given, surely?

Nowadays, BF is anything but tiring because DS doesn't generally want a night-time feed (unless he's ill or teething, which ok, is roughly half the time) and I get a sit-down whenever he feeds during the day!

agree it was probably a throw away remark to a mum with two very small children. Just trying to acknowledge how tough things must be for you at times

It really pisses me off when people say 'oh you must be tired', 'oh you look tired' or 'you don't make it easy on yourself do you' (when referring to me breastfeeding my kids). Its patronising.

Having less than four hours consecutive teeth for ooh let me see, ten months with DD followed by three glorious months of proper sleep before I got pregnant enough with DS to be woken by bladder, the need to vomit or leg pain, before DS arrived and we were back to waking up every two hours at least. Yes under these circumstances, one may look and feel a tad tired.

Is feck all to do with breastfeeding though. I would suggest it's to do with the fact that mothers wake more readily when they hear their children make noises than fathers who seem to be able to snore through most child related nighttime eruptions (or at least my DH can ).

On a biological level, making breastmilk takes calories (and of course the result contains calories, but I remember reading that to make 600 calories of breastmilk - the average intake for a newborn baby - yeah I want to see the study they worked that out in as well but anyway....- you use 200 calories to make. So in the sense that it's exercise of a sort means that yes creating breastmilk will make you tired

Daffodilly you are doing marvellously. However be aware that at your next check the thing that made you good this time will be held against you as your child will be labelled 'hefty' and you will be asked if you are supplementing his diet with choccy biccies (no I'm serious, DS went from 7lbs to 21 on just breastmilk and by the time we took him to see the HV we'd gone from 'oh well done you've given him a great start' to 'perhaps we need to refer him to a paediatrician just to see what's going on.'

I wasn't too perturbed by the comments - TBH - I felt quite pleased that there was an acknowledgement that I am doing a "good thing" even though it is personally knackering. Just made me wonder if BFing in of itself is tiring, i.e. any more so than looking after a newborn is anyway. Even if I were FF I would be doing most of the work as I am a SAHM - so can't see it would be any less tiring from a workload perspective.

whomovedmychocolate - I like the idea that producing breastmilk equates to exercise. I can further justify my cake intake. And the only choccy biccies he is getting for now are coming via me!

yes very tiring, bfing women should do nothing but lie on the sofa and eat cake!

I think it's probably actually no more and no less tiring than ffing, as long as you're making up the calories you're losing. Obviously if you're not eating enough then you'll feel shattered because you'll be losing weight.

But I can't speak as I have only ever bfed my two babies, so I don't know whether it would have been more or less tiring had they been ff.

"I remember reading that to make 600 calories of breastmilk you use 200 calories to make"

That can't POSSIBLY be true - that would break all the laws of physics and be perpetual motion - ie more energy out than energy in.

It must be the other way around surely. You can't create calories out of thin air - and your body will use calories to chew, digest and process the food, and squirt the damn stuff into the baby!

Im knackered too
This is the first time i've bf any of my 4 dd's and i miss dp not being able to take turns!
I think having two teething babies (18months & 5 months) isn't helping though!

"I think a lot of people think bf'ing children drains the life and nutrients out of you."

I have to say, I do find breastfeeding knackering, especially when it was my (now weaned) toddler through the night. I get that nutrients-sucked-out-of-the-bones feeling which I swear is rapidly made better by remembering to take vitamins.

Right now I've got a BF nine-week old and two older DSs so of course I am exhausted. But I'm pretty sure I'd be more exhausted if I had to make up bottles all the time.

Oh utterly exhausting. Well known fact. Equally well known is that a cake a day is a medicinal requirement to keep the exhaustion at bay.

I don't know if the BFing itself makes you tired, I have a 4yo, a 3yo and a 9 month old, the 9 month old was EBF for 6 months and is now on 5 BFs a day plus as many as she wants at night.

I think being woken up to 6 times a night, and having 3 little children to care for is knackering in itself.

BFing is convenient, one less thing to do remember to buy milk and make up bottles. Boobs always there ready to go.

My goodness - you have FOUR DDs?? You would be knackered even if you were just lying on the sofa eating cake - though I imagine you don't get much chance for that!

Well, everyone (but mainly my mother) tells me breast feeding is tiring. Personally I think waking 3-4 times a night to feed is the really tiring bit, as well as managing my 3 yr old DD.

Basically, motherhood is tiring (I'll just caveat that with saying 'but worth it' ).

theyoungvisitor

"I remember reading that to make 600 calories of breastmilk you use 200 calories to make"

That can't POSSIBLY be true - that would break all the laws of physics and be perpetual motion - ie more energy out than energy in.

Nope actually I guess my punctuation made that confusing - to make 600 calories of breastmilk you use an extra 200 calories to make it. So you would expand 800 calories in total IYSWIM. Mind you, since you expand between 40 and 60 calories an hour sitting on your bum it's not that surprising really.

am i being dim here, don't understand how that works. here is kelly mom

so 200 extra calories are required to make bm but the 600 produced from breasts is not taken from the mother, but created by the milk production. no wonder i didn't lose weight bfing.

Now you have explained WMMC I can see what you mean - you meant that the 200 was for the manufacturing process, so to speak?

It's a bit sad it's only 200 - I was hoping you were going to say it was a typo and it took 2000 calories to make! That would have been cake all round for tea.

fishie - I think broadly WMMC is saying that to make 600 cal of breastmilk, you need to eat 800 cal of food. Which disagrees slightly with the kellymom link but not greatly, as she says you need up to 500 calories extra, plus an average of 200 cal from maternal fat stores, ie about 700 cal in total.

Not sure what you mean by "the 600 produced from breasts is not taken from the mother, but created by the milk production" - you can't "create" calories - they have to come from somewhere, either direct from food (ie bypassing the mother's fat stores) or from the mother's fat reserves.

I am encouraged but slightly sceptical to learn that I am probably burning 200 cal fat a day - I think mine is coming mainly from cake as I don't seem to have dropped any weight - boo!

i think the 200 calories fuels the manufacturing process which results in 600 calories worth of milk produced.

i can't see how the manufacturing requires 800 calories or i would be in some very tiny trousers.

because you are eating more! Even if you don't think you are.

You can't produce 600 calories out of thin air - the basic molecules have to come from somewhere. If they are not coming off your bum then they are coming off your plate

I've just looked up the calorie content for lard (which is probably roughly similar to human body fat).

200 calories of lard is only 22g - that is less than 2 tablespoons. So even if I'm only eating kellymom's recommended 500 calories extra a day, I'm only getting rid of about 1.5-2tblsp a day of fat. Boo!!

Sorry to buck the trend here but I do not find BF remotely tiring. It helps that DS2 only wakes once in the night to feed, if that, and doesn't feed much in the daytime either. But he feeds constantly in the evening (am feeding now) and I don't find it tiring. We co sleep and when he feeds I go straight back to sleep, but if he needs his nappy changing in the night I find that extremely knackering.

I am taking flax seed capsules for omega 3 because I felt depleted, but I think that was the dreadful pregnancy rather than BF.

I wonder if the co sleeping and lying down to feed make the difference, or if it is just that DS2 is so unusual at 15 weeks in not wanting to feed often?