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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Do you think breastfeeding is tiring?

53 replies

Daffodilly · 06/04/2009 21:15

DS (10 weeks) had his 8 week checks today (bit late). He has gained weight from 7lb 14 at birth to 14lb 12 today - he is EBF.

Both HV and doctor commented that this was quite impressive on breastmilk only (esp as we've had problems with feeding) and queried that I hadn't done any top ups. They both said "you must be very tired".

Well...er...yes. I have a 10 week old and an active 2 year old. I've had 10 weeks of broken nights and very full on days. Of course I am KNACKERED!

So do they mean that BFing is tiring of itself - or just cos I am doing all the feeding? Obviously I treated myself to a large slice of cake to fuel the next phase of his growth!

OP posts:
swampster · 07/04/2009 20:18

Nah, I do the co-sleeping-lying-down thing and I'm still knackered. I know I would be more knackered if I didn't. I am, however, a dummy in human form.

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 20:36

So it's as I thought then, DS2 is a strange baby.

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 20:49

provinciallady - I think most people were being tongue in cheek saying they found bf tiring! at least I was.

I do find night waking tiring - but actually going down to resettle my toddler (who is not bfing at night) is far more tiring than wapping a boob into my 20 week old baby.

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 20:53

Oh dear

I have heard RL friends saying it before though. One in particular said she felt every feed sucked the life out of her!

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 20:55

I think feeding once at night is good for 15 weeks.

My typical night at the moment is as follows:

7pm feed and settle DS2 in cot

8pm feed and settle DS1 in his bedroom

10pm I go to bed, DS2 sometimes wakes. Feed and settle in cot.

10.30-1am SLEEP!!

1am DS2 wakes (seems to regardless of whether I have fed him at 10pm or not). Feed and bring him into bed.

1.30 DS1 usually wakes - he hears DS2 stirring and me getting up. I go down to his bedroom - he usually takes half an hour to settle back to sleep.

2am - 5am - more SLEEP - hooray!

5am DS2 wakes for feed in bed. I kind of half-doze through it.

6am DS1 wakes up for the day.

So yes, I am knackered, but that's because I am getting, at best, about 5-6 hours broken sleep. Not much to do with feeding, and if I had to spend half an hour more warming bottles I would probably be even more tired.

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 20:57

sorry x-posted!

Lol at sucking the life out of her - I do feel that quite often, but more in just a general "children are leeches" kind of way!

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 21:14

Gawd that IS hard work. I am astonished that you always sound so together in your posts! Mind you it is amazing how little sleep you can (just about) manage on. DS1 woke screaming every hour for the first 15 months. Luckily he sleeps well most of the time now at 2.8 but if he doesn't it is DH's problem not mine

My evenings look like this at the moment:

7pm DH puts DS1 to bed and I go to bed with DS2 to MN and watch DVDs

7 - 9pm feed DS2 on and off and change his nappies about 5 times

9 - 9.30pm DS2 goes to sleep

6.30am DS2 needs a nappy change and occasionally wants feeding too. Straight back to sleep.

7.30am DS1 wakes up and DH gives him breakfast. I get up, brush teeth etc

8 - 8.30am DS2 wakes up

So you can see why I am not particularly tired! Though I do wake up a lot to check that DS2 is still breathing. It has gone a long way towards making me realise that early good sleepers are born, not made, and that I didn't do anything wrong with DS1 - and haven't done anything right with DS2 either.

Here's wishing you some more sleep. I think if I were you I would have to get to bed earlier but it gets so boring when you don't have any evening to relax doesn't it?

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 21:23

Thank you for saying I sound together - I am never quite sure sometimes! It's good to know I am putting up a convincing front anyway.

I am mainly coping because I get a cheeky nap in the day when the DSes nap! DS1 still sleeps for 2 hours in the day (when I let him) which may go a long way to explain why he doesn't sleep for long at night. But he has never needed much sleep sadly - DS2 sleeps about twice what he did at that age.

I agree that good sleepers are born, not made. DS2 is just a much more sleepy child (must have more of my genes!)

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 21:38

Oh I would love it if DS1 still napped in the day, sigh.

BTW I love your name, it's one of my favourite comic books

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 21:46

thank you I love it too (obviously!)

Is your name as in Diary of.../E M Delafield? I always wonder - it's one of those books I have always meant to read but never got round to. Whenever I see your name I always think "must buy!"

fledtoscotland · 07/04/2009 21:46

i dont personally find BFing tiring. I love it and am dreading the day when we finally wean. 7 1/2 months into it and tiring is probably the only word i wouldnt use to describe it.

fledtoscotland · 07/04/2009 21:46

i dont personally find BFing tiring. I love it and am dreading the day when we finally wean. 7 1/2 months into it and tiring is probably the only word i wouldnt use to describe it.

chandellina · 07/04/2009 21:46

i find it very tiring, and i've also been sick more times in the last 8 months than in about the 20 years before that.

My 8 month DS still feeds at least 6 times a day, often 10x or more, despite being on three meals a day now. Adding insult to injury, he's only on the 9th centile for weight and height.

He has never slept through the night, and I can't imagine how or why that magical event might ever happen.

the HV told me today I have to stop feeding him in the night.

thanks for the advice ...

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 21:49

chandellina - why does she want you to stop feeding him in the night?

(FWIW I only managed to night wean my toddler when I was pregnant with number two - and he was two and a half at the time. And no, it didn't make his night waking any better, he still doesn't sleep through!)

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 21:54

Yes it is and you must read it, it's such a fantastic book, very funny in a quiet way.

God bless those HVs with their helpful advice eh chandellina?

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 22:03

ok, you have spurred me off to the bookshop tomorrow! I need a new breast-feeding book (am currently rereading Patrick O'Brian for about the millionth time)

(sorry for literary hijack Daffodilly )

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 22:13

Oh I don't think the Prov Lady has much to say about BF (Were they even allowed to say the word in 1937?!)

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 22:19

more than Patrick O'Brian has to say, I bet! Mrs Aubrey just produces children while Jack is away on long voyages and he returns to find them toddling about.

theyoungvisiter · 07/04/2009 22:20

I am off to bed now so cross your fingers for a good night for me!

TheProvincialLady · 07/04/2009 22:23

Good night

chandellina · 08/04/2009 14:16

tyv - i think the HV just took one look at my haggard state!

I think her point was that, in her view, DS is relying on the boob to get back to sleep if he wakes in the night, (my view too, basically), and that he's unlikely to really be hungry every 1.5-2 hours throughout the night. (his recent schedule)

but then i have to weigh up whether it is more troublesome for him to have this strong boob-sleep association, or the trauma of crying/screaming until he finally falls back asleep.

I don't know what I will do if this continues. I think (pray) it's yet another phase, because he had been waking only once between 11 and 7 for a while.

He's been constantly wanting to BF lately, day and night.

theyoungvisiter · 08/04/2009 18:48

trying to cast my sleep-deprived brain back, but I think my DS1 went through a similar phase and it did end.

I think total night weaning in an 8 month old is optimistic (sorry HV!). Certainly my DS1 was still feeding for hunger/thirst at least once or twice a night for a long time, although he was comfort feeding too.

If this is a recent thing could it be teething?

Can you try sending your husband/partner down first early in the night when you are relatively confident he doesn't need feeding?

Maria2007 · 08/04/2009 19:06

Interesting thread.

I would venture a guess that certain people (usually those who are squirmish about bf, don't know much about it, or even actively are against it) say 'oooh, you've been bf so long, surely you must be knackered', when in reality they mean 'come on now, it's been 6 months, surely it's time to stop doing that thing'. Or at least that's my interpretation of the 'bf is tiring' comments, given that my father has told me this exact things at least 20 times since DS turned 6 months, and the meaning was very clear to me.

I think we should place the 'bf is tiring' comments in the same context as 'you need x amounts of water to bf successfully' 'you need a zillion calories' 'you need this or that vitamin' 'you need to eat soups / beer / add whatever you want here' 'you need to rest all day' etc.

Having said that, personally I found bf tiring & stressful at times- especially when my milk supply would go down & I needed to bf more and / or express to get it up again. I also found it lovely & easy at other times, especially when co-sleeping & bf half-asleep through the night. Can't imagine getting up & preparing bottles could have been easier.

Maria2007 · 08/04/2009 19:07

(hijacking thread):

chandellina · 08/04/2009 20:30

Hi Maria!

TYV - trouble with my DS is that NOTHING comforts him expect the breast. Every so often he will calm down for DH, but it's a huge struggle that usually ends up with me storming in and whipping out a boob.

yes it could be teething-related recently. Though there are no signs of any bloody teeth since the first two broke through a good 8 weeks ago! I also think he is just getting a bit obsessed with BFing. (well, he always has been!) I don't know, he gets this crazy look in his eye, staring at my chest. Then if i try to put him down when he's clearly asleep on the boob, he goes mental!!

bless him, i have been through worse in this BFing journey. And i agree that he may well need to feed in the night. I am just hoping we can somehow negotiate it back to the one time!