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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Ok I've decided not to b/f

100 replies

bobbyswish · 04/04/2009 20:18

What happens to your milk/boobs in the aftermath of childbirth if you go straight to bottles? And do you give a bottle feed straight away the same as you would with b/f?

OP posts:

supergluebum · 05/04/2009 20:18

OOOO hot cabbage, forgot that bit..put spare leaves in the freezer!

BuwchBywiog · 05/04/2009 20:28

Savoy cabbage is a godsend!!! Couldn't have got through engorgment and mastitis without it. Wishing you all the best x

standanddeliver · 05/04/2009 21:00

"If it's a choice between breastfeeding and mental health problems, or bottle-feeding, the first is likely to cause longer term problems for the child (emotional and social) than the latter. (I'm a researcher in this kind of area). If you're sure that BFing would end up in anxiety and depression, I would have thought it's best for your baby to bottle-feed."

You know I can't help but feel that if a woman had major emotional problems with any other normal physiological function, like sex, eating or sleeping, and if this had long term repercussions for her child - whether she avoided doing it or not, then we'd all be shouting about the necessity for this to be identified through routine antenatal care, and for her to be offered expert counselling and support.

On the subject of milk intake - also very much agree that bottlefeeding is no guarantee of an easy mind on this one, as evidenced by many of the threads on this board.

LeonieSoSleepy · 05/04/2009 21:10

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LeonieSoSleepy · 05/04/2009 21:19

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choufleur · 05/04/2009 22:14

mental health care is just not what it ought to be though. when i had anxiety when ds was about 6 months i was told it would take about 3 months to get counselling. how wonderful - thank god i have family close and good friends!

if the OP feels that she will cope better by choosing not to bf then that's her choice. i hope it works for her if she decides to go down that route - if she decides to give bf a try then great.

leonie - breast feeding does not protect against the nasty diseases that are vaccinated against routinely.

twinsetandpearls · 05/04/2009 23:15

I agree chou I would be dead by now had we not borrowed thousands and thousands of pounds to pay for private treatment.

expatinscotland · 06/04/2009 00:13

Oh, and I was that cold, calculating sort whom you never would have know was ill.

Ever heard of someone's suicide and thought or said, 'Oh,that's so unlike him/her' or 'he/she seemed so happy'?

Yeah.

Good for you, that you were well enough to even be able to see anything other than a bridge in the middle of the night or a noose or a bottle of pills because you well and truly believe that everyone would be better off without you.

Because I wouldn't wish that on anyone save the Ian Huntly's of this world.

GothAnneGeddes · 06/04/2009 03:50

Bobbyswish - I hope everything goes well for you.

I'm very disappointed by some the persuady comments on here. This isn't AIBU, the OP is asking a straight forward question, not for psychiatric evaluation.

tiktok · 06/04/2009 09:04

GothAnneGeddes - a talk board is a conversation. It goes off onto highways and byways. I see very little attempted persuasion here - the conversation included, perfectly reasonably, the idea that for some women, the decision not to breastfeed is not the answer to their axieties. At no time was the OP evaluated, still less criticised, in any way at all. She was supported.

becaroo · 06/04/2009 09:15

I am truly shocked at some of the posts on here and think we are getting off topic - the OP wanted tips on how to avoid engorgement, not tracts on the benefits of bf which I think every half intelligent person already knows about, including the OP.

leonie I think you will find that "nummies" (?) will not help protect your child from measles, diptheria, pertussis or mumps - all of which can be fatal. Not to mention other children and pregnant women you are putting at risk by not vaccinating your child and therefore reducing herd immnunity.

expat I can sympathise. If I hadnt ff my ds1 I dont think I would be here now It literally saved my life and my marriage.

crokky · 06/04/2009 09:37

bobbyswish - wanted to send you my support. Breastfeeding my 2 seriously impacted my mental health and I couldn't do it again. I've just last week given up feeding my DD and I feel amazing. The hormones are extremely powerful and for some people they cause horrible effects. My milk has totally gone now in 7 days (and I have been feeding her for a year) so the time the milk takes to dry up may be down to luck from person to person?

troutpout · 06/04/2009 09:57

I also struggled with mental health problems with my first baby. I gave my second baby the colostrum only . My boobs settled down after about a week...they were particularly bad at about day 4 or so. I imagine that giving the colostrum may have made them worse but it was still managable.
If you decide to just give bottles straight from birth then yes they will give you little bottles in hospital to feed the baby with (make sure you get a couple to bring home with you if you do...makes those first few hours at home easier !)
good luck

GothAnneGeddes · 06/04/2009 14:24

Tiktok - How is being told that "You are not amenable to persuasion" supportive?

She didn't ask to be persuaded in the first place.

tiktok · 06/04/2009 15:01

Goth: one sentence, taken out of context (as the next part of the same sentence wishes the OP best of luck 'whatever you do', out of 65 posts....you're not making a good case

LeonieSoSleepy · 06/04/2009 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 06/04/2009 15:32

That's funny. My dad and all his siblings were bf'd for at least 2 years back.

They have all enjoyed excellent health.

But they still got childhood diseases like measles, mumps, rubella, etc.

And when the polio epidemic occurred, well, my dad recalls everyone was quite rightly terrified because somehow the virus targetted even those who'd been breastfed.

SpinyNorman · 06/04/2009 15:44

Hi, looks like i have come to this thread a bit late but here's my experience.

I decided not to BF, as soon as the baby was dressed etc. the midwife asked us which formula we would like to use and then went and fetched a bottle for us. The formula was provided for the next 12 hours or so that we were at the hospital, we were just told to give the midwife a buzz if we needed any more .Could be different for your hospital though.

My boobs were very swollen for a few days after the birth but hardly leaked at all,just a few drops. I wore pads in my bra just in case though.

SpinyNorman · 06/04/2009 15:45

Oh, and they gave us 5 or 6 bottles to take home with us too.

choufleur · 06/04/2009 17:03

but bf doesn't protect against vaccinations - imho choosing not to vaccinate is a selfish decision as it puts others at risk, and your children who may catch many diseases that could have been avoided through vaccinations, some of which can kill.

choufleur · 06/04/2009 17:03

that was meant to say protect against diseases

becaroo · 06/04/2009 18:17

...well, as leonie says, thats a whole other thread....

All the posts on here make me wish I had tried cabbage leaves...I didnt and had boobs the size of footballs (HH cup!!!)

Also, not sure if anyone has mentioned the dreaded day 4 weepies?....I sobbed for a whole afternoon on day 4 postpartum for no real reason - just to warn you it will probably happen and the soreness and engorgement dont help Tip: nurofen (if you arent bf) and chocolate!

mamadiva · 06/04/2009 18:32

I never got the whole sore boobs thing when I had DS just seemed to go away after a few days, but my friend had a fair bit of pain so depends on you totally!

I just gave DS a bottle pretty much straight away.

Congrats on pg BTW, I always say happy mum happy baby so do what feels right for you, you are not being selfish and you are not a bad mother, you are doing whats best by you!

I know no one has said you are slfish etc but just incase it starts. My HV made me feel like crap about it but I got through it in the end!!!

Ceebee74 · 06/04/2009 19:57

OP - just wanted to add that I had no hassle/guilt-trips at all from the MW's or HV's either time I chose to bottle-feed - absolutely nothing at all - they accepted it was my decision, never questioned it once or asked why etc etc and that was that.

Although I don't want to get into the breast s bottle argument - but I am going to - can I just say that my 2 DS's also breezed through chicken pox with nothing other than spots - what a shocker considering they were both bottle-fed!

standanddeliver · 06/04/2009 20:43

"but bf doesn't protect against vaccinations - imho choosing not to vaccinate is a selfish decision as it puts others at risk, and your children who may catch many diseases that could have been avoided through vaccinations, some of which can kill"

I have had all three of my children vaccinated, but I understand the anxiety of those who have chosen not to. I also understand what you say about low low levels of vaccination leaving children outside our own families vulnerable to disease, and that worries me too.

Would want to add though, that there are many who see breastfeeding (particularly early breastfeeds of colostrum), as natures way of innoculating a child against a whole host of diseases that are prevalent in that child's environment. If we accept that mothers who choose not to give their child this extra protection by choosing not to breastfeed are not selfish, then why are mothers who choose not to innoculate selfish? Particularly as they're choosing not to innoculate because they are anxious that vaccinations may harm their child, rather than because it's best for themselves? Basically I'm trying to say that being non-judgemental about people's choices for their children extends further than bf/ff.....

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