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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Nell McAndrew article on extended breastfeeding

265 replies

treacletart · 05/03/2009 08:54

here

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 06/03/2009 08:28

oh super
that has cheered me up no end

Coldtits · 06/03/2009 08:32

Is it VERY cynical of me to wonder if this article was written by the same person who writes the government propaganda Surestart magazines that come through with the milk tokens?

ANd would I be even MORE cynical to suspect that as this is in the Mirror, it's aimed at the same target audience?

FrannyandZooey · 06/03/2009 08:34

god colditz i don't think the government is interested in pushing extended breastfeeding
i only wish they were

tiktok · 06/03/2009 08:38

Eh, Coldtits? What possible benefit is it to the government to get an article written about Nell McAndrew breastfeeding her toddler?

tiktok · 06/03/2009 08:39

Headine on Daily Mail link says Nell is 'wet nursing' her toddler.....?????? Wet nursing her own toddler????

ABetaDad · 06/03/2009 08:39

chipmonkey - I also agree that normal mature men do not get jealous.

Although after a 12 months of very little or no emotional or physical contact with their wife/partner they might begin to think that enough is enough.

Not been in that position so a bit outside my experience.

tiktok · 06/03/2009 08:45

ABetaDad - why does breastfeeding mean there is 'no emotional or physical' contact between partners?

You can presumably link to some research that demonstrates that breastfeeding, extended beyond 12 months or not, wipes out emotional and physical contact....otherwise you wouldn't have made such a stupid, sweeping statement, would you?

Coldtits · 06/03/2009 08:48

That's when men get weird about breastfeeding - when they assume that touching breasts = emotional contact

tiktok · 06/03/2009 08:54

It's not 'weird' to think that touching breasts = emotional contact, though, Coldtits. Breastfeeding is an emotional link between mother and baby (as is bottle feeding - neither method is solely a way of shovelling calories into a baby!).

The point is that you can share emotional contact with a baby and still have plenty left over for partners and anyone else, too

MarlaSinger · 06/03/2009 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ABetaDad · 06/03/2009 09:15

tiktok - as I say a bit outside my experience.

I agree there is no reason at all that breast feeding should mean there is not "plenty left over for partners and anyone else".

I just get the feeling that after being on MN for over a year that in some cases this is what happened.

By the way, to those that think "touching breats" is the issue - it isnt't. I actually find that quite a sweeping generalistion and quite an offensive thing to say that is also demeaning to DH/DPs.

Miggsie · 06/03/2009 09:25

I fed DD until she was about 2. Did not plan it, it just turned out that way: morning and evenings. She wouldn't take bottle milk or normal cows milk, and still doesn't so I reckoned it was good for her and carried on.
No one complained, DH didn't mind.
It is possible to have a relationship with your husband and BF! The BF took, ooh, 50 mins at most in the day. DH managed without for that time.
I did not label my boobs "for use by the under 2's only".

However, my friend's husnad HATED her BFing and made her stop, he was a bit extreme tho'...threatened her with an axe. They are now divorced.

100yearsofsolitude · 06/03/2009 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo · 06/03/2009 09:32

Miggsie - I agree - it's perfectly normal to bf and have a normal healthy relationship with your partner -and of course plenty of women become pregnant while breastfeeding, me included!

Sad for your friend though.

coochicoo · 06/03/2009 09:33

My dh would probably agree that he's lacking in the physical contact area (not emotionally I would hope). However, it's less about breastfeeding and more about general life. Having children in hard work no matter how they're fed. I can't be arsed getting jiggy once I've finally got them down for the night!

Wrt the 'once the child is old enough to ask it's time to stop thing', eh? What about a toddler crying for a dummy or a comforter? Should they be denied that too because they're old enough to ask and should, therefore, no longer need it? Strange logic.

And why do people always have to mention teeth? My ds got his first tooth at 4 months; should we have stopped bf then?!

Dd is, however, happily toothless at nearly 8 months but still have a clamp like a vice !

belgo · 06/03/2009 09:38

yes it's having children in general and the lack of sleep and increase in stress that influence your relationship with your partner, however they are fed.

tiktok · 06/03/2009 09:53

ABetaDad - here's a hint: when talking about things which are outside your own experience (as you admit) and which you have only 'an impression' are correct 'in some cases' from a short spell on mumsnet, don't make sweeping generalisations about other people's relationships

Maria2007 · 06/03/2009 10:07

I liked the article. Really liked how it normalizes bf. And as someone said, it isn't written in a defensive way.

I agree with what others have said; bf does not mean no contact (physical, sexual, emotional) between partners. Can't comment on extended bf, as I don't know about that (my baby is only 7 months) but I would assume that just bf morning & evening (or whenever, it's surely not all the time with a toddler) would not present any problem when it comes to contact with DH. Why would it actually?

I found that co-sleeping did create a problem though, but that's another discussion. Not sure actually why bf would be an issue?

ruty · 06/03/2009 10:11

'Although after a 12 months of very little or no emotional or physical contact with their wife/partner they might begin to think that enough is enough.'
Er, no idea how dd came along then

[ABetaDad, this stuff has been going on for centuries you know]

ABetaDad · 06/03/2009 11:37

tracletart - I apologise as I did not mean to hijack your thread.

I read the article and did not disagree with any of it. Nell McAndrew is obviously a great Mum doing a great job.

As an aside, its nice hear her Yorkshire accent of TV too.

tiktok · 06/03/2009 13:32

'Spose it's too much to expect ABetaDad to withdraw his sweeping generalisation about partners missing out on physical and emotional contact??

theyoungvisiter · 06/03/2009 13:35

Hello Betadad - I have never been on a thread with you where I did not violently disagree with most of what you say! (I mean that in the nicest way possible ).

Re your comment: By ABetaDad on Fri 06-Mar-09 08:39:57
chipmonkey - I also agree that normal mature men do not get jealous.

Although after a 12 months of very little or no emotional or physical contact with their wife/partner they might begin to think that enough is enough.

Ahem, now.

Fathers of FF babies do get jealous as well you know (I know this from talking to friends), however most do not.

Most fathers of BF babies also do not get jealous, although of course there will be some who do, just as there are some fathers of FF babies who have issues.

PLENTY of men who have partners who BF get ample emotional and physical contact, I have absolutely no idea where you got the idea that BF somehow equals no sex, unless it's Dr Hilary Tosspot Jones who apparently has the same impression.

FWIW I have been feeding DS1 for nearly 3 years. During that time I got married, went on honeymoon, and conceived another baby. I am now feeding DS2 as well. He is 12 weeks and my husband and I have plenty of "physical and emotional contact" to use your euphemism, although the main challenge to our sex life is not breastfeeding, it's both of us being bloody knackered which I would imagine is common to both FF and BF parents, however as I have experience of FFing I wouldn't presume to make wild generalisations about that .

theyoungvisiter · 06/03/2009 13:36

sorry, that should have been "however as I have no experience of FFing I wouldn't presume to make wild generalisations about that"

Maria2007 · 06/03/2009 14:33

I think there is this assumption (completely wrong, overgeneral, and based on a prejudice) that mothers who bf for longer than 'average' (and that average differs from culture to culture, or from person to person even) do it because they're getting from their child what they're not getting from their husband. I.e. physical & yes, sexual, closeness & pleasure. I think it's a taboo to actually say this to people, so euphemisms are used such as 'the mother does it for herself'. What this presumably means is 'the mother takes sexual / sensual pleasure out of this'. Actually, to be honest, and given that breasts ARE a part of sexual life, I was worried about this too before my baby was born. I was relieved to discover that the reality is very different & bf feels normal- its almost as if breasts take on a completely different function-, very very separate & different from their sexual function. Anyway. Just thought I'd write this because I think this what's behind many of these comments.

tiktok · 06/03/2009 17:59

Maybe I should just give up waiting for ABetaDad to say he was wrong......