Nell McAndrew article on extended breastfeeding

[treacletart]

here

Nice article. Am not going to open the DM link as I know it will annoy me!

Erm showofhands I am expressing my opinion just because you dont agree does not make it wrong. What a boring discussion it would be if everone agreed with the same thing, there is nothing wrong with a bit of debate.

pigletmania - have a read of this the only reason people think it is "wrong" is because we as a society have been conditioned to think that breasts are sexual objects. In other countries, this simply does not exist, and breasts are for feeding children.

Do you also find it "wrong" that cows are milked for human benefit? Surely this is "wrong" too?

I do not have an opinion on cows so cannot really say for certain, I use soya milk anyway as i have eczema

piglet, I at no point said that you were not allowed an opinion, I at no point denied the joy of a good debate. I quote:

"Feeding off the breast is for babies only, and is really not right in an older child."

What you are doing is making statements. In your opening post on this thread you do not qualify these statements with an 'I believe' or 'In my opinion'. You surely must understand how assertions such as yours do not add to any debate. You make the mistake of expressing your opinion as fact. Facts for me in a good debate are evidence-based.

What a lovely article I am a new Nell fan

Now I just have to go and tell DD that she has to stop bfing now because she is too big Do you know piglet it would have been a lot less offensive if you'd just said natural term bfing wasn't for you.

You said bfing in just not right after this age. No stating it was your opinion, just stating it as a fact. Which it is not. And bfing is not just about the milk, it is about comfort and security for the child. A plastic cup does not exactly give the same effect.

pigletmania, why is it that you have no opinion of a child or adult "especially past 5 years old" drinking the milk of another mammal, but you do have an opinion of a child drinking the milk of it's mother? The milk that was made for that child. I find that strange. Afterall, humans were not meant to drink the milk of another mammal - it doesn't happen in many other cultures and certainly doesn't happen throughout the rest of the animal world.

Did you read my link?

Sorry, In my opinion then, what I am stating is not fact it is merely an opinion. Redonherhed why not express your milk if you want your child to have the benefits of your breastmilk,by school age it is hoped that they would be drinking from a normal cut anyway! Why should a school age child still be feeding off the breast is beyond me.

no, piglet, tolerance works both ways.
you can't be hurtful, rude and judgemental and then whine because people aren't "respecting your opinions".
it really is none of your business, to be perfectly honest.
how about if I was to say that your decision to wean your child was wrong, that it was selfish and you did it for your own reasons?
how on earth could I justify that sort of ill-informed nonsense?

Part of the benefits of bfing comes from the act of bfing. Just want to point that out. And shockingly enough, DD doesn't want milk from a cup. She wants to breastfeed. Agree with harpsichord's last post too.

pigletmania, why would I express my milk, when nursing does the job far more effectively? It's not just what is in the milk that is of benefit, it is they way in which the child extracts that milk that is of benefit too. Though had you bothered to research this, you would have known that, before making your derogatory remarks.

Just because you dont agree with my opionions does not make it wrong or derogatory. This is a forum for everyone not just the pro extended bf mums. I do respect your decisions, I said it is up to you at the end of the day, can I not express an opinion without everyone jumping on me like a pack of vultures.

pigletmania, TBH nursing a toddler is something you can't really understand unless you actually do it.

I started off thinking nursing over 6 month old babies was pointless and feeding walking, talking toddlers was weird/wrong/whatever.

Fast forward a couple of years and I am now happily tandem nursing my 6 month old DS and 2.6 year old DD (off to nursery in September and likely to still be nursing then)

Don't knock it until you try it

Don't want to join in the argument but just wanted to say I thought it was a great article.

Unfortunately Babieseverywhere I could not bf even though I really tried, I dont know how I would feel if I did manage to. I will definitely try again if I we have another one, who knows really, I would continue mabey past 1

pigletmania, FYI, I am not a pro extended breastfeeding mum - I fed my first baby until he was 15mths and it was thanks to the comments of people like you that I stopped. My second baby is now 10mths old and I will be feeding him until he wants to stop. How I feed my child is nothing to do with you, just as how you feed yours is nothing to do with me. I don't go around telling you that yours should still be on the breast because I have no interest to. What you do it up to you, so why not let those who do extended breastfeeding get on with it, without you making them feel as if it is "not right" or something shameful, because it isn't.

piglet, you seem to be missing the point rather. Having an opinion and expressing it as such is one thing, but when you make statements about a parenting choice (and norm) that we have made by telling us it is wrong or selfish or recommending other ways in which we should do things then you are criticising/condemning as opposed to offering an opinion.

And it is polite to be mindful of the fact that you are speaking to real women on here. To compare, if you read a name on the baby names thread that somebody was giving to their child and they had invited opinion, you are not expected to agree that it is a nice name. You can say 'I do not like it, it's not for me'. The equivalent of this thread in baby names would be you posting 'it's a terrible name, nobody should use it and you should use this one instead'. A woman that has chosen to bf to natural term does not want nor invite your suggestions of an alternative way and likewise while she may be happy to engage in a discussion with you, your condemnation is hurtful and unnecessary.

pigletmania, I am sorry you couldn't breastfeed your first baby, that sounds very difficult to handle.

Stick around here, Mumsnet is full of good information and advice for nursing mums and when you have your second baby you'll have all the information and support you need to hand.

Sorry Showofhands extended bf is not for me, it is nice of Babieseverywhere to talk to me like a mum instead of like a total moron like a few mums on here. If you dont agree with me say so, but there is no need to lay into me. I am too a mum with an opinion and understand I am talking to other mums. We have discussions like this at my mums and toddlers group, not everyone agrees with each other so we beg to differ. And Redonhyourhead it is up to you how long you feed your baby, as i said in my previous posts i agree with it until 2 years anyway.

Thanks Babieseverywhere i will be coming on here for some advice if and when the time comes.

I wasn't trying to lay into you at all piglet. I am sorry that you feel hurt as that truly wasn't my intention but I must repeat that the reaction on here to your assertions does come from the fact that your manner of expressing yourself was hurtful to extended bfers.

It is difficult on an online forum to sense tone and implication and I apologise if you felt like you were addressed as a moron. That was not the intention at all.

I had a very difficult start to my dd's life and a painful, difficult and trying start to bfing. To have bfed her at all, to still be doing so is something that I am extremely proud of and like other extended bfers, it is a large, important and beautiful part of our relationship. To have it dismissed as 'not right' is doing a disservice to something so much more important than you can realise if you haven't experienced it.

Yes Showofhand it is a lovely thing to bf and good on you mums who do do that for any length of time, I really would have loveed to have experienced that, I am not anti bf contrary to popular opinion. On an online forum as you cant see the mums you feel that you can say things that you would not normally say unless you really know the person so judge how they would take it, sorry i upset some of you but I guess I wanted to see how you might feel and do argue a for and against extended bf.

I am sorry too, but I just get so bloody sick and tired of nasty comments about it, and to be honest I am not that sensitive about it. feeding your baby is an emotive subject. being told that your choice of feeding is "not right" and you are doing it for selfish reasons and for your own ends and not for your child - that can be pretty hard to take. those sort of attitudes put people off bf, ime.
If someone came onto these boards and said that bottle feeding is not right, that women who bottle feed are doing it for their own reasons, they are selfish - well they would be pretty severely flamed for being so offensive.
and quite right too.

pigletmania, we will welcome you and give you as much advice as you need, and yes, you are right that you are a mum too, but what you said upset me. To me (in my opinion and clearly in others) you were saying, as you did actually say, that extended BFing is not right. There are many people who are led to believe that breastfeeding is wrong and many people are giving the impression that breastfeeding is something sexual - not that you did, I'm aware of that. It's just the little comments that are made, are the ones that make BFers feel as though what they are doing is something dirty. It's not dirty at all, at whatever age the child is. Personally, for me, I wouldn't want to breastfeed a 9yr old but what that mother does is her business and I'm sure that school age children can drink from a cup, but they like the comfort their mother brings while breastfeeding. It's like taking a favourite toy away and dangling it from the ceiling where the child can see it but cant reach it.

I am a breastfeeding support peer and I know there are a few of us on MN, and there are BF counsellors too, so if and when you need the support, we will be here for you. I am sorry if what i said was misconstrued and if it came across as me talking to you as if you were a moron, then please accept my apology. I didn't mean it to come across as that. As you can tell, I am a lactivist and I have very strong feelings about breastfeeding, and I tend to get very defensive when someone says that it isn't right.

Anyway....
us breastfeeders are usually a friendly lot (until someone suggests we do otherwise).
Hope it doesn't put you off it when you try next time.