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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Come and agree with me about incident A, and be suitably cross about incident B please!

54 replies

MamaG · 22/02/2009 00:16

BACKGROUND

I had a very difficult birth with BabyG - emCS under GA after 24 hours of labour, lost a lot of blood during the CS. Was exhausted but determined to BF. BabyG was BIG (10 9) and was almost constantly at the breast - on day 2 (I think) a MW snapped at me "this baby is starving" after I'd refused to let them "top him up" for the millionth time so I let them (and sobbed as they farking did it).

INCIDENT A

A woman today told me I'd ruined the baby's gut by allowing them to give him some formula. It was the only bottle of formula he has ever ever had (now 15 weeks). It is bollocks isn't it? I'm sure it is!

INCIDENT B

As I sat BF the baby yesterday, my (childless younger) sister said to me "urgh I think BF is awful, it makes me cringe, I won't be doing it if I have childrne, its gross". I thought "fuck off" but said "well you have to make your own choices. Ido it because blah blah blah and its a bit hurtful of you to say these things to me as I sit feeding". I bit down the response I really wanted to give

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 22/02/2009 00:19

MamaG - 100% agreement from me on both points!
i.e. A = bollocks
B = ignorant, insensitive bint.

gigglewitch · 22/02/2009 00:20

yes incident A is surely bollocks

you did well with incident B, I'd have slapped her if I'd been in that situation

keep up the good work mamaG

Original poster
MamaG · 22/02/2009 00:21

Hurrah thank you! She said something about his "virgin gut"?? Farking loon

OP posts:
twinsetandpearls · 22/02/2009 00:22

Incident A is as others have said bollocks.

I think you handled incident b really well, hopefully if she has children of her own she ma mellow here views.

nooka · 22/02/2009 00:23

A is rubbish
B you handled very well. Hopefully your sister will learn a) to bite her tongue herself, and b)the advantages to BFing as she watches you/grows up.

and bad luck on a difficult birth, and a useless MW, but congrats on big BabyG

Original poster
MamaG · 22/02/2009 00:23

I had hoped to be a positive role model for her (sis) after BF three babies. Looks like I failed on taht score!

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 22/02/2009 00:24

oh ffs 'virgin gut' they haven't actually banned formula milk yet have they

Original poster
MamaG · 22/02/2009 00:24

(AND she's bloody 31 fgs!)

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaG · 22/02/2009 00:24

I never heard of virgin gut before

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 22/02/2009 00:24

omg - thought more 13

hunkermunker · 22/02/2009 00:28

This is what she meant by virgin gut.

Wrt your second incident - I think you handled that really well.

And congrats on your baby's birth!

edam · 22/02/2009 00:32

Incident A - woman was extremely rude and stupid. Even if she was right, no good purpose would have been served by telling you after the event.

Incident B - you are far too polite for your own good. If either of my then childless younger sisters had said that to me, they would have had thick ears!

The virgin gut thing is a theory. The infant gut is perfectly adapted to get the maximum nutrients out of milk. It has 'open' cell walls, unlike the adult gut. These close by around six months, hence the weaning guidelines - if you feed a baby solids before six months its gut may well still be open, so particles of food will pass through the walls straight into the bloodstream which is probably not what Mother Nature intended.

Theory is this may be linked to the rise in food allergies, although I don't think there is conclusive evidence at the moment. I'm not quite up on the application to formula milk v. b/f.

SnowlightMcKenzie · 22/02/2009 00:32

MamaG Yes, - bollocks to both points.

Re: virgin gut. I hope someone else comes here and explains because I'm pig ignorant not very knowledgable, but as I understand it it is about gut flora. FF can change the flora in the gut so making it 'not virgin', but bfing afterwards changes it back again making it a virgin again. lol

Please don't let these fools make you angry or worry, although if you do have any anger inside you you could write to your stupid mw about her poor bf training.

thumbwitch · 22/02/2009 00:34

there is no denying that breastmilk is going to be more beneficial in giving the infant gut the bacteria it needs - but one sodding bottle of formula is not going to ruin it for all time! Especially as your baby had been suckling at you for nearly 2days, so would have ingested your skin bacteria, any colostrum you produced etc etc.
Sheer bloody great hairy bollocks.

chipmonkey · 22/02/2009 01:19

Hunker, you know I love you but yes, virgin gut good, excellent but as MamaG sobbing as her baby's gut is deflowered by horrible fuck faced MWs how is this helpful?

Incident 2: Your dsis is young, she will learn.

JacksmamasBabyIsOneYearOld · 22/02/2009 02:32

Incident 1: COMPLETE BULLSHIT

Incident 2: COMPLETE FUCKWITTAGE

Tryharder · 22/02/2009 08:02

I sympathise - DS1 was as big as your baby and I was also told by a MW on Day 2 that he was starving! I can remember the feeling - like I had been punched in the gut. As a first time mum wanting to bf, this was not exactly good for my confidence. Then went to stay at my mum's for a while and was subjected to comments like "why dont you give that baby some real milk" and "are you feeding that baby again, you should only feed every 4 hours" - no wonder I gave up bf at 4 weeks. Bitter? Moi??

I personally don't see how the rise of food allergies in recent years can be linked to ff or early weaning. We are weaning later now than ever before, ffs, my elderly aunt still fondly reminises (sp!!) about putting whiskey and mushed up rusk in my cousin's bottle at night to make him sleep longer.

I cannot see how a little bit of formula can undermine all your hard work getting bf established particularly after a difficult start.

Agree with others that your sister was unsufferably rude and deserves a slap. Can't believe you were so polite. But I agree that she will probably change her mind if and when she ever has a baby.

belgo · 22/02/2009 08:15

A. What an awful, insensitive woman. Of course you haven't ruined your ds's gut. And virgin gut is an awful term.

B. Well done, you were very restrained in your response! I have to admit, before having children, I had similar views to your sister. It was only by seeing friends breastfeeding that my opinions changed.

tiktok · 22/02/2009 10:14

I dislike the virgin gut theory, and find the evidence for it extremely thin and unconvincing. The evidence is that breastfeeding has restorative properties anyway - it actually heals any damage which is why it is encouraged as a therapy for babies who have had gastro infections. Yes, formula does affect the gut, but this effect is not permanent.

MamaG, you know I know my stuff Forget about 'ruining' your baby's gut. Dear me

Your sister is being rude and stupid. There may be other stuff going on in her head.

Original poster
MamaG · 22/02/2009 15:59

I'm a big sister. No matter what happens, I have that firmly implanted in my head. Whilst I sat feeling extremely pissed off with sis's comments, my Big Sister Brain made me handle it kindly, so that (a) I got in some info about BF for her to store away for future reference and (b) so she wouldn't be embarrassed to come and talk to me if she ever does have DC and wants to chat about BF! Its a Big Sister thing...

I can't kick myself about the virgin gut nonsense. It happened, I regretted letting them give him the bottle as soon as I said yes, but its done now nad nothing I can do can change that - I can only carry on BF and know I'm doing right by him now. Hell, I can't beat myself up over a few ounces of formula can I?!

Glad to see everybody agrees with me!

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaG · 22/02/2009 16:01
OP posts:
bohemianbint · 22/02/2009 16:25

Sorry you had such a hard time MamaG, it makes me really sad when I hear of women being pressured by incompetant fuckwits "well meaning professionals" into things they are not happy with.

I think "fuck off" would have been a suitably appropriate response to both, to be honest. for you.

edam · 22/02/2009 16:29

That's interesting, tiktok.

MamaG, I'm a big sister too, and usually overlook any silliness from my younger siblings - still have that overtone from childhood of 'well, they are only little' even though they are both grown ups with children of their own now. But I think I might well have been tempted to say something a little more forceful than you, so well done on showing such restraint!

BoffinMum · 22/02/2009 18:30

Agree with general sense of outrage.

A bottle of formula is not going to wreck the baby's gut. It's just a bottle of formula. It's not like you sodding well held him under a cow and fed him unpasteurised milk giving him tuberculosis FGS. They gave him something that is specially developed for little babies to have when formula is not forthcoming. There is no problem with that in the bigger scheme of things.

Regarding incident B, you were a lot more polite than I would have been, tbh. Your sister will be laughing the other side of her face when she has kids.

BoffinMum · 22/02/2009 18:31

Sorry, meant to say when BM is not forthcoming.

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