Angry!!! [angry]

[Splizzard]

So today I took my little one who is 6 weeks old to my local baby clinic.

If you want to speak to a health visitor, get your baby weighed and checked you have to go to the baby clinic. My Health visitor will not come out to me.

So anyway, you know the scene....young baby, demand bottle feeding, it takes all day to get out of the house. The "drop in" clinic is for 2 hours.

Finally got baby ready and im out the door, hes due for a feed in the next hour but I have no need to worry do I? Surely a BABY clinic will be an ideal place to feed your baby? Whether its breast OR bottle?

Wrong. I had some made up formula in my bag. Cold formula. The clinic out right REFUSES to give you some way to heat up your bottle due to health and safety. Ok, I understand the need not to have jugs of boiling water lying around when there are a dozen babies and toddlers lieing around.

But this is a BABY clinic! Where they expect you to bring your NEWBORN baby in the tinyest timeslot in the world!

I asked them why and said "so I have to starve my baby at a baby clinic? Is that not mad? Ill have to go to the pub then where they WILL provide me with some hot water"

The answer I got was "its not us. We arent even allowed a cup of tea"

This is INSANE. Surely a baby clinic could have a cheap bottle warmer? Or a seperate room where they can heat the bottle for you? Or even them heat pads that fit around bottles to warm it?

What is the world coming to when I cant even feed my baby at a baby clinic which I am EXPECTED to go to if I want my baby weighed and checked!

INSANE.

Has anyone else had a similar problem? or does anyone know who is behind this stupidness and who I can complain to?

hv every other day for 2 weeks? That sounds like a lot.
In my area they visit once, at 2 weeks, and then after that you go to the clinic for weighing etc.

Are you sure they are not getting HV's confused with MW's, Mw's visit alot HV's usually once and then tell you to visit a clinic.

All of my NCT class had at least 2 visits from the HV in the 10 days after coming out of hospital so I sympathise that you didn't get any (and I wouldn't say any of us were high risk parents!). However now your LO is 6 weeks old HVs are very stretched and if you don't have a particular concern then you should go visit them, if you are worried about something then you should be able to give your designated HV a ring to talk it thru.

Seriously. electrical equipment has to be certified, and people have to be trained to use it.

Plus NHS money being spent on buying the bottle warmer, it's simply a waste of resources.

Up to the mother to feed the baby, including warming it up. There are clearly many products/methods available for doing this.

oh I just realised you didn't need to make it up, just to warm it..well, they will usually happily drink it at room temp, IME!

Oh and re weighing, don't go to the clinic for that - just way yourself on the scales at home with and without the baby and subtract the difference. It won't be anything like as accurate as their scales but it will give you a general idea if he's growing.

Why on earth would you expect health visitors to go out to see every mother to check and weigh their baby, on a regular basis? They are horrifically understaffed and have enough to deal with with families that physically cannot get into clinic, or with mothers that are having real problems at home.

Teach your baby that room temparature milk is just fine and it will make your life a whole load easier.

ukpmc.ac.uk/articlerender.cgi?artid=426026

Not health and safety gone mad - clinic merely following safe guidance to prevent nasty scalds.

Ah FiveGoMadInDorset you maybe right there. I think it was the midwives. blame post-pregnancy brain. However whether it was MW or HV I am surprised the OP didn't get a visit at all.

I guess im either naive or outdated then.

Many people I know were taught everything from how to bathe a baby, how to latch them on the breast, how to change a nappy.

EVERYTHING.

I was not shown anything really.

im not aiming my concerns at the hv directly either. its not their fault.

but in my experience i feel i got thrown in at the deep end without any info. i was not supported through breast feeding or shown how to latch on. my large breasts made it difficult for me, yet when i told hv i had stopped she looked at me with horror.

i just thought there was more help and support but i guess ihave been naive

Our health centre has a bottle warmer, as does paediatric a & e and mot motorway service stations (they refuse hot water because of health and safety at the coffee shops, so thankfully they had a warmer - it taught me to carry a flask). I'm at a loss as to how it's pfb/unreasonable to expect a clinic set up for babies not to have a way to warm milk. Our breast-feeding Surestart clinic hv got me a cup of hot water without my asking, when I had to resort to a bottle. Nobody in the NHS I've encountered has seemed to worry about litigation over baby-milk scalds.

I also had a community midwife come 4 times after birth, and another 4 home visits from a hv, because we had bf problems. The hv offered to come again if it might help. I do think no home visit at all is not just unusual, but against NHS guidelines, and I'm not surprised you're fed up about it.

But didn't you do any reading?

Splizzard - it's horrible to feel let down like this. I think being angry about poor support for bf is totally justified - to look at you in horror for stopping, when the help to continue was lacking, is really bad

(just realised all that was probably said much more succinctly before, must learn to read whole thread)

Thing is they don't give support as standard, but if you say you are struggling then they will do their best to help you. Give your HV a call and see what can be done.

splizzard, sadly I thnk your experience is the norm and your friends were either very lucky or there were other factors at work.

Everything I found out about caring for babies was from antenatal classes - no-one showed me anything after teh birth, although I did get a couple of home visits from the MWs, I'm surprised and shocked that you didn't. However that's more about health than about demonstrating baby care.

of course i did reading! does not mean im supermum! stop attacking everything i say for goodness sake!

Agree that comment was a bit uncalled for... plus all the reading in the world can't really help with things like breast-feeding issues, you need someone to sit down and help with your particular circumstance.

Splizzard - I do sympathise with that feeling of "caught in the headlights" you get with a new baby! And I agree totally that there should be more support available for new mothers! I was totally flabbergasted to find out about Baby Cafes when my ds was little, and used them to great effect, but they weren't very well publicised and I had to research to find out about them.

Google is your friend, as is MN and other parenting fora with local info on.

Splizzard I have an old mumsnet book and someone in there says about taking the baby home 'It was harder to get the cat from the RSPCA'. It is so true, suddenly it is all yours and it is quite daunting

Reading is v different from confronting a live baby, and I did the NCT classes !

Splizzard you are in a bit of a mumsnet maelstrom. Most bottle feeders on here are not out and proud, we usually huddle away in a small corner like smokers, so for you to be demanding your rights for warmed bottles is startling to us.

I'm sorry bf didn't work out for you and you aren't getting the support you obviously need. Do try ringing up your HV. They do get a bad press on here, but if you are struggling I'm sure they will be happy to try to help.

my midwife had fleeting visits.

i asked for bf help but they just said "hes gaining weight so it must be fine"

also called hv for advice. got told to leave message for my hv and come to clinic. didnt hear from hv and got no help regarding my problems today.

im at a loss at who to turn to. i read lots but i dont get the Answers i need. for example, have just moved onto formula, have no idea how much he should take. is on hungrier baby and taking more than packet suggests... hv said "oh"....? so im just a little fustrated with everything i guess

Rookie. Not sure I've ever seen anyone flamed for ff-ing, but hey ho...

It's rotten that you feel let down at the lack of bf help. I did too. I got flip all help and am still annoyed by it 2.5 years later. I don't know anyone who was shown how to latch on a baby. My friends who managed to bf did so through either sheer bloody mindedness, having mums who had done it or luck.
Be angry about that. Don't get upset about bottle warming faciities. And if you are looking for sympathy or advice (both of which you have every right to) then you may need to adopt a different tone! Your op was rather 'disgusted-of-Tunbridge Wells'.

rookiemater - not true that her request was 'startling' because of bf attitudes Many of the practical hints shared on the thread have come from people who have had exactly the same experience as the OPs, and needed to find ways to deal with it.