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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Angry!!! [angry]

116 replies

Splizzard · 16/02/2009 15:48

So today I took my little one who is 6 weeks old to my local baby clinic.

If you want to speak to a health visitor, get your baby weighed and checked you have to go to the baby clinic. My Health visitor will not come out to me.

So anyway, you know the scene....young baby, demand bottle feeding, it takes all day to get out of the house. The "drop in" clinic is for 2 hours.

Finally got baby ready and im out the door, hes due for a feed in the next hour but I have no need to worry do I? Surely a BABY clinic will be an ideal place to feed your baby? Whether its breast OR bottle?

Wrong. I had some made up formula in my bag. Cold formula. The clinic out right REFUSES to give you some way to heat up your bottle due to health and safety. Ok, I understand the need not to have jugs of boiling water lying around when there are a dozen babies and toddlers lieing around.

But this is a BABY clinic! Where they expect you to bring your NEWBORN baby in the tinyest timeslot in the world!

I asked them why and said "so I have to starve my baby at a baby clinic? Is that not mad? Ill have to go to the pub then where they WILL provide me with some hot water"

The answer I got was "its not us. We arent even allowed a cup of tea"

This is INSANE. Surely a baby clinic could have a cheap bottle warmer? Or a seperate room where they can heat the bottle for you? Or even them heat pads that fit around bottles to warm it?

What is the world coming to when I cant even feed my baby at a baby clinic which I am EXPECTED to go to if I want my baby weighed and checked!

INSANE.

Has anyone else had a similar problem? or does anyone know who is behind this stupidness and who I can complain to?

OP posts:
rookiemater · 16/02/2009 16:19

There are many things you can buy :

a) Insulated bottle carrier. I would put in the hot water and bring the milk powder with me in one of those dispensers

b) Special thermos which you can pop the bottle into

c) Bring your bottle warmer with you

We bought a-c then discovered DS could drink it at room temperature.

Personally I feel you are much more in need of a restorative cup of tea and a sit down. Have a few jaffa cakes, will do you good.

Splizzard · 16/02/2009 16:21

Wow. You are all pretty hostile on here!

Like I said. This is my first child.

I havent even HEARD of half the things you are all suggesting as I was breastfeeding.

And like I have said once before. I have not been refused anywhere else so it was just not expected!

And Nicky - I dont expect the world to revolve around me and my baby. But I expect a BABY clinic to revolve around BABIES! Why shouldnt I?

The room is filled with first time mothers who are stressed and anxious and tired and there first "trip" out of the house is to a baby clinic where they cant get a bottle warmed.

Im sorry but I still dont think it is alot to expect from a place like that.

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 16/02/2009 16:23

I think netmums might be more your cup of tea.

Splizzard · 16/02/2009 16:25

and that cup of tea sounds good

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 16/02/2009 16:26

MN is really good at practical suggestions. There are quite a lot of those on this thread I think. You were after tea and symplathy - and you posted in the wrong style for that unfortunately. Mind you, could have been worse. Do make sure you avoid the AIBU topic

LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 16/02/2009 16:27

www.mothercare.com/gp/product/B000TUP0U6/sr=1-6/qid=1234801550/ref=sr_1_6/279-5655628-9688319?ie=UTF 8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=44557031&mcb=core

£4.99. and stop complaining that HV don't come and visit you.

Splizzard · 16/02/2009 16:27

im sorry im bad at the lingo. whats aibu?

OP posts:
charitygirl · 16/02/2009 16:28

Oooh stop piling on everybody! I'm sure the OP gets the picture.

As a breastfeeder, I am a leeetle surprised to hear a clinic doesn't have one of those bottle warmers I've seen elsewhere. But now I know!

The only think I think the OP is actually being silly about is by being put out that a HV won't lug scales around to visit and weigh 6 week olds who are presumably not on any 'watch' list, just to put a mark on a centile line. I'm not a big fan of HVs but they're a limited resource w8th lots to do.

tiktok · 16/02/2009 16:28

auibu = Am I Being Unreasonable? Popular folder on mumsnet talk

samja · 16/02/2009 16:30

If youa re looking for sympathy, maybe start the OP with something other than angry. One can be disappointed that the world doesn't revolve around you, but to be angry is a tad spoilt IMHO. YOu are in for many shocks about the world and its attitude to precious newborns. This is just the first.

tiktok · 16/02/2009 16:30

Yes - TheFallenMadonna has it right....it's all a question of style of posting! If you want tea and sympathy a post with capital letters, exclamation marks and steam coming out of its ears (about something really quite minor) is going to get robust replies

In amongst them, though, are several practical ideas to help.

A word of thanks for these would not go amiss - just a hint

samja · 16/02/2009 16:31

Sorry, "precious first borns".

Splizzard · 16/02/2009 16:32

whats wrong with me complaining about that? for the first 4 weeks i couldnt walk due to bad tearing and couldnt leave the house. no health visitor came to see me at all to check that the baby was ok.

thats what they are meant to do! most of my friends had a hv every other day for 2 weeks. first time mums dont ALWAYS know what to do! i had never even HELD a newborn!

ive worked bloody hard and paid my tax and ni insurance, so why shouldnt i expect more from the nhs?

OP posts:
samja · 16/02/2009 16:35

Because the really good HVs out theree so a great job but are so overstretched they are referring serious cases of families in crisis to Barnardos.

tiktok · 16/02/2009 16:36

No one gets a home visit from an HV every other day in the first weeks - either your pals are exagerrating, or all their babies are on some sort of danger list!

Normally you would have had a home visit from the HV, esp if the midwife reported problems, but in many areas, there are no home visits unless the mum is actually unable to get out the house.

That's the way it is.

Of course you should have had this explained to you.

theyoungvisiter · 16/02/2009 16:37

"most of my friends had a hv every other day for 2 weeks"

Crikey, I don't know where they live - round here you get ONE visit at 10ish days - and that's it unless your baby is at risk for some reason.

They no longer do drop in clinics, weighing clinics are staffed by assistants and are for weighing ONLY. If you have any concerns you have to ring at a specific time once a week, and if they think the matter is serious you can make an appointment.

They are basically extremely understaffed and are (quite properly imo) concentrating resources on mothers and babies in problematic circumstances, not healthy people who only want a tick on the red chart...

TheFallenMadonna · 16/02/2009 16:38

A HV should certainly have come to see you at home to begin with, at least once after the midwife signed you off. YANBU (you are not being unreasonable!) to be cross about that. And many of us are clueless when it comes to our first baby. I did sympathise in my first post.

raisingrrrl · 16/02/2009 16:38

To be brutally honest, if you're looking for help and advice in caring for a newborn, your HV isn't the best place to go looking!

All they'll do is weigh them and mark down in your red book. You're pretty much left to fend for yourself in those first few weeks - are you in a relationship? Did you partner/husband have paternity leave? Have you got any family or friends nearby who can lend a hand?

I know that a new baby can be very daunting, but it's not really the HV's job to help with that - and paying tax and NI has nothing to do with it!

Splizzard · 16/02/2009 16:38

thankyou charitygirl. thats the position i was in. had breastfed. began to bottle feed and really was suprised!

im not asking for sympathy, i just think health and safety has got stupid. a bottle warmer in the room next door is not dangerous.

and i am grateful for the tips cos i didnt even know these things existed!

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/02/2009 16:38

cartons of ready made are wonderful things to keep in a change bag

TheFallenMadonna · 16/02/2009 16:40

Not necessarily true re HVs. Mine was really, really fab. But that isn't always the case as I have learnt on MN.

TheProvincialLady · 16/02/2009 16:40

Oh stop having a go at her will you

It is NOT unreasonable to expect a baby clinic to have, you know, facilities for babies - especially facilities for warming up formula given that HVs love to peddle the stuff.

theyoungvisiter · 16/02/2009 16:40

Plus I hate to break it to you, but there are many other places where you will not find a bottle warmer - buses, most parks, trains, swimming pools, the Great Outdoors, etc etc....

Clattered · 16/02/2009 16:41

Agree it would be helpful if there were bottle warming facilities but, as you are soon to find out, not many places the UK are very receptive to the needs of babies and toddlers, and it's a v good idea to re-adopt the motto you had as a Brownie (or was it a Guide?): be prepared.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 16/02/2009 16:41

I agree with you about it being a bit health & safety gone mad.

Personally I think every new mother should take a couple of hours to leaf through the Mothercare Catalogue - you will never need 99% of the stuff in there but it gives you a good idea of what kind of products are available, so that when a problem comes up for which there is a simple commercial solution you know straightaway.