"And there was me thinking we?d come past the how much flesh is a political statement Yet again Chilly you are twisting posts to make it say something different. This time you are missing bits out rather than running things on."
There is a difference between 'twisting' someone's words, which means distorting the meaning, and pointing out unspoken prejudices which may underpin a comment. It was not me that raised the issue of 'indiscrete' breastfeeding being a political statement, it was VS. And actually, maybe it is a political statement, but if this is the case then I think we should ask ourselves what that statement is saying!
Normal, term breastfeeding is a vanishing phenomena in the UK - really. Only a tiny fraction of babies over a few months are getting their mother's milk. Part of the problem is women's feelings of shame and selfconsciousness about their bodies and fear of other people's censure when they feed in public. And then you come on a board like this and read posts by people who claim to be supportive of bf but who then go out to attack the morals and attitudes of women who are deemed not to be breastfeeding in a way which is socially acceptable. It just seems so wrong-headed to me.
?I read something recently wrt discretion, which is why I wanted to find out other people's veiwpoints. TBh, it felt sneery. Smug and sneery at those women who do not wish people to see them breastfeed.?
VS?s whole post was commenting on the article/ post she read, not breastfeeding!"
VS was talking about attitudes to public breastfeeding, and I was responding to that. You can't pretend that breastfeeding exists in isolation to the feelings, social mores and behaviours that surround it.
I think she has demonstrated perfectly how lactivism can go too far, when it?s telling other women they shouldn?t be discreet if they want to be!"
No she hasn't. Having not seen the discussion she talks about I can only refer to what she has said here. She felt that the posts were sneery of women who wish to bf discretely. I wouldn't defend negativity about the manner in which other people wish to bf, but as VS is not specific about what was actually said. She did say that the post she saw wanted the removal of the word 'discrete' in relation to any discussion of public breastfeeding. She interprets this as meaning that the poster wants all women to feel obliged to show a lot of flesh when they bf. Actually putting less or no emphasis on 'discretion' in discussions of public bf is not the same as saying all women ought to feed in one way or another - it is simply shifting the focus away from the feelings of those people witnessing a mother breastfeeding, to the feelings and needs of a mother and her baby.
"I don?t understand why you seem to think that only the act of breastfeeding is about breastfeeding, why you don?t see that some women can go too far in what they do without a baby attached to their breast or that some can go too far with a baby attached without it being about the breastfeeding itself."
Sorry - what on earth are you talking about? I'm sitting here reading that statement with my jaw on my lap. If someone made that statement in any culture where bf was normalised it'd be considered completely bizarre. If we are talking about women making moral attacks on the manner in which other women breastfeed (which is what you and VS are doing in talking about 'aggressive' and 'political' breastfeeding, and blaming bf mothers for other people's bad attitudes about bf) , and about what counts as 'acceptable' ways of breastfeeding, then it is all about breastfeeding! I just feel as though you are having this discussion without any real acknowledgement of the context in which women are trying to bf their babies in this country. Do you ever take into account that breastfeeding is largely invisible in the UK? And that part of the reason for this is twomen's fear of being judged - something which both you and VS have done openly on this thread. And what impact does it have on breastfeeding rates that bf is invisible? And that most adult women have never seen a woman bf unselfconsciously and with a baby visibly attached to the nipple? I would love for there to be less talk about the discretion in bf - we need a shift of focus - and if you can't see that then it's you who is ignorant.