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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Can I ask a question about extending breastfeeding purely in the spirit of an enquiring mind, and not at all to cause a ruction?

56 replies

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 15/01/2009 22:36

Just wondered really, if the idea is that you should let a child feed until they self-wean (which it is as I understand it) then is a child who self-weans at, say, 20 months, missing out in comparison to one who weans at, say, 30 months?

OP posts:

Original poster

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 15/01/2009 22:39

Totally incoherent post, too tired, sorry!

OP posts:

FourArms · 15/01/2009 22:47

I suppose they are missing out on the nutrients etc from the bm, but if they truly self-wean, then that is a lovely thing that you have fed your child until they decided that they wanted to stop. Exactly as nature intended.

DS1 didn't exactly self-wean - I decided to stop and one night didn't feed him. But the next night, he didn't ask, and was never upset about it. So therefore, I think it was the 'right time' and virtually as close to self-weaning as possible.

But why oh why isn't DS2 (now 30.5 months!) doing the same thing when DS1 stopped so easily at 22m!?

Original poster

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 16/01/2009 08:48

So, it's better for a child emotionally to let it self-wean, I'm assuming?

OP posts:

gagarin · 16/01/2009 09:07

That is really not quantifiable!

There are so many variables it is not possible to make any sort of judgement (IMO) that would encompass EVERY child and EVERY scenario.

If it feels right then it probably is right whatever is decided.

BabiesEverywhere · 16/01/2009 09:36

IMO the right time to wean is when either the mother or child no longer want/can continue a happy nursing relationship.

Ideally both mother and child would agree on the perfect time, in reality I guess it is more often one or the other making the decision.

I think it is best for children to self wean but my nurselings are only 29 months and 5 months old, if one or the other hits 4/5 years I might have a different opinion (or I might not...who knows )

hercules1 · 16/01/2009 09:53

It's not really extended weaning you are asking about. It's natural term breastfeeding. Extended implies you are taking it further than it naturally would.

Original poster

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 16/01/2009 09:55

You're right hercules, that's what I meant, natural term. Sorry, not great with terminology

OP posts:

Nancy66 · 16/01/2009 10:33

Don't want to upset anyone here - but I can't get my head around why anybody would bf a 4 year old. That's a school age child.

Isn't motherhood about teaching independence, encouraging milestones and letting your child grow up? You wouldn't keep a four year old in nappies or a cot - so why continue to BF?

I don't think the nutritional argument stand up at this age, so I can see any benefits.

BabiesEverywhere · 16/01/2009 10:35

Oh Nancy, Nancy...I know you can't see any benefit but the mothers and toddlers concerned can, so I wouldn't worry about it

Nancy66 · 16/01/2009 10:38

i don't think you've grasped the concept of debate...

Bucharest · 16/01/2009 10:40

Didn't realise the OP was starting one Nancy?

bubbleymummy · 16/01/2009 10:45

Hi Nancy,

You might be interested in reading this:

www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

The nutitional and emotional benefits of breastfeeding alongside the protection from illness that it offers continues as long as bf continues. If you think about it - many people give cows milk the whole way through childhood and don't think it is strange or wrong but why give another animal's milk when we have our own?

tiktok · 16/01/2009 10:46

Nancy: "Don't want to upset anyone here..."

Are you being ironic?

PortAndLemon · 16/01/2009 10:47

But you would keep a 4yo in a car seat, help them in the bath and read them a bedtime story. The fact that you see allowing the child to breastfeed until they want to stop as more akin to keeping him or her in a cot doesn't mean that it is.

Of course, if you refuse to read your four-year-old a bedtime story when he/she asks on the grounds that motherhood is about teaching independence, encouraging milestones and teaching him/her to grow up, then that's another story.

Research shows that natural term breastfed children are more independent, too, so if part of motherhood is about teaching independence then you should surely be in favour...?

Nancy66 · 16/01/2009 10:49

No Tik tok, I do think it's perfectly possible to have an opposing view and voice it reasonably and intelligently. Don't expect to win anyone over or be converted - just think it makes things more interesting.

Nancy66 · 16/01/2009 10:53

A car seat is a legal requirement - and totally necessary for safety.

Most 4 year olds can't read - plus looking at books can be educational.

I can't see how bf a 4 year old (which personally I wouldn't class as 'toddler') encourages independence. complete opposite I'd have thought.

PuzzleRocks · 16/01/2009 10:54

Totally irrelevant question here but Nancy, you seem to be the breastfeeding equivalent of The Joker to Tiktok's Batman. Do you two have RL history?

Nancy66 · 16/01/2009 10:56

Nope. Just one of the few people on here that don't happen to think she's always right...

Bucharest · 16/01/2009 10:57

How many breastfeeding 4 yr olds do you base your suppositions on Nancy?

I ask, as having one myself, who refuses to ever miss a day of nursery, such is her independence from me, (she goes there on the schoolbus too, and has done since the day of her 3rd birthday) I'd like to know if it is my child (with her independence) or these other mythical clingy children of whom you speak, who are "abnormal".

Tell us your experiences, then it's an even playing field.

tiktok · 16/01/2009 10:58

No RL history - as far as I know

BabiesEverywhere · 16/01/2009 11:01

Nancy this is not a thread for 'debate'( i.e. when there are two opposing sides to argue)

The OP asked for personal opinions. i.e. We all have ONE opinion.

If you have an opinion on self weaning please feel free to state it, instead of attacking my opinion. I stand by my post, that I may decide to nurse my toddler up to and beyond school age, I may stop next week that is my opinion and not open to debate

Have a nice day..off to nurse my 29 month old DD as she is asking for milk !!!

Bucharest · 16/01/2009 11:04

To the OP,

I'd agree with the other posters, self weaning is fine and dandy if you are happy to continue till then. I did imagine, many feeds ago, that my dd would self wean before now, but hey ho.....

Original poster

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 16/01/2009 11:05

Ok, thank you for this.

I guess what I'm wondering is if a child self-weans at, say 18 months, are they missing out in some way?

OP posts:

Sycamoretree · 16/01/2009 11:06

Tiktok, I have to ask, after your many years on these boards, how on earth you summon up the energy or will to go over this same ground again and again.

I'm grateful that you do, and so is every new mum that comes across this topic for the first time, but when I saw this thread and the way it is more than likely to go, my heart just sank for you!

Nancy66 · 16/01/2009 11:10

Far too many over sensitive people here. Bucharest I didn't call anyone 'abnormal' and Babieseverywhere i didn't attack you.

Jeez.

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