breastfeeding for a week now... not sure how much more I can take

[star6]

Hi there,
I was advised by the lovely ladies on my october antenatal thread to post here. They have been incredibly helpful and supportive, so I have not given up just yet. DS typically feeds for 30-45 minutes on one side. It's incredibly draining. The latch is not perfect. In fact it's horrible. I wince in pain when he latches on. I follow all of the advice from the bf counsellor, midwives and websites but he just refuses to take it unless it's that same painful latch!! have red scabbed over spots on tip of both nipples now and feeling engorged quite often.
Questions:
How long does a baby usually feed from each breast for? Do you usually offer both with each feed?

Is there any way to get him to latch better? He seems just so stubborn with it...

It's day 9 now and the sides of my breasts (the outer part) is very sore to the touch (not red or anything, just sore). Is that normal?

I'm hand expressing a bit when they become engorged and even pumping with electric pump while he feeds on the other side to relieve it sometimes... any other ways to treat engorgement?

When I lay down to try to sleep my whole body feels like one big headache, especially my legs, everything throbbing (maybe I'm just overdoing it with housework?) How dangerous IS it REALLY to take more than 8 paracetmol within a 24 hour period?

Sorry for the essay... I'm a bit of a mess. Really weepy and difficulty controlling emotions as well.

[TheProvincialLady]

Star when I was examined at 3pm by a midwife I had slightly smelly blood loss, nothing else. By 4am I had a temperature of 40.5 and by 6am I could no longer walk or see. It is that serious. There is no harm in getting a second opinion but there could be a lot of harm in just leaving it. If you don't want to trouble your GP then at least take your temperature regularly.

I can't believe that your MW didn't feel your uterus! Did you tell her above the blood loss?

[TheProvincialLady]

Ah cross posts - glad you are going to see GP, make sure you tell him everything

[Tryharder]

Lots of posts on here about (not) doing housework while trying to bf. There is so much pressure on new mums in our society to be out and about days after giving birth, have a clean house for all the visitors etc.. I agree with OP - its hard not to do housework when the house is minging and there's noone else to do it.

I used to live in The Gambia. There, I saw that mums are not allowed to leave the house for 7 days after giving birth and an unmarried female relative will come and stay with you for months to do all the chores/cooking. Women there dont do anything other than bf for some months - that's why they're good at it.

BTW OP, keep on with bf - it will get better. The first weeks are so hard and noone ever warns you.

[madmouse]

and drop any ideas of dp not doing things to your standard. let him get on with things his way, with the house and the baby. you will get used to the house being 'hygienic' rather than sparkling and be much happier.

ds 8 months and I am just getting to the point where most of the house is reasonably cleanish most of the time

[star6]

Thanks so much everyone. this and my oct antenatal thread have really helped me persevere. No mastitis or infection thank goodness, just a bad cold with headaches. gp thinks the umay have caused shock to muscles as had to lean over to do it (not an upright hoover). Had spent 3 1/2 days in hospital not mving much so will take time to be able to fully engage in housework again... as you have all already pointed out. I like that thinking madmouse... just have to get dh to understand what"hygenic" means!

BF getting better... still hurts but more bearable now. He feed twice on each breast (alternating) last night nonstop from 7pm-9pm!!! I was exhausted!!!

[star6]

sorry... gp think hovering may have caused...
keyboard not behaving

[tiktok]

star, glad things are getting better

The cluster feed you describe is totally normal, and need not be exhausting in any way at all if you go with the flow and just sit there There may be times when the off-and-on feed lasts somewhat longer than 2 hours, too....all normal.

[star6]

Thanks tikok!!
It's exhausting because i cant get comfortable and make sure he's held... etc. all hunched over and sore back after. need to learn to position us both better.

[bundle]

can you get one of those bean cushion things you pop in the microwave to provide a little warmth and relax your shoulders? or a hot water bottle? I remember that tight, tense feeling soooo well, xxxx

[susie100]

bb

[Stefka]

Just wanted to say hang in there. You are doing so well. I remember feeling under pressure to keep up with the housework - don't! Rest as much as you can - you are recovering from birth and feeding your LO. Rest, rest and more rest! Oh and chocolate.

[Emma0802]

hi there well done and keep going its really worth the effort. I had bad pains when baby latched until about 4 weeks but used lansinoh after every feed and changed my breast pads to boots as they don't stick to the lansinoh which was making them even more painful. I had sore boobs too and only expressed a little to relieve the soreness. Also when baby is feeding try rubbing the sore bit towards your nipple cos sometimes you can get a blocked duct. This helped for me. I helped my baby latch on by rubbing my nipple on her nose to get her to open her mouth wide which helped, but baby will get there.
As fo house work find someone else to do it you have more important things to like looking after yourself and baby and enjoying those precious days together.

[star6]

anyone tried washable breast pads? I have this illusion that those wont stick to lansinoh... will try boots emma
Thanks bundle always good to know im not alone!! Will get chocolate promptly stefka
Thanks murderousmarla im totally in love with him!!

tiktok cluster feed normal once in a while or should i expect it often?

[tiktok]

Cluster feeding normal every evening or most evenings, star....as people here will confirm. Individual experience varies a lot, though.

[bundle]

do use disposable pads for a bit, star, if only to save on the washing

agree, gorgeous pictures!

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

i had a shit time with bf for the 1st 2 weeks, although not as painful as you describe, but very stressful, knackering, backache etc. now 4.5 weeks and it's so much better, calm, peaceful, not painful at all. still have to accept the house won't be to my usual standards but DH is doing a fair bit more than he used to! hang in there and it is very likely to get better. what sorted mine was spending 5 days at my oparents where i didn't have to worry about housework, and had lots of good food brought to me! can you do similar? or have a visitor for a few days?

[star6]

MUST sort out how to sit cozy and bf if its common!!
midwife was here just before i read your replies and told her about the long feed and her reply was...
"well how much milk can you express in 10-15 minutes" (pointing to my avent electric breast pump). I said "20-25 ml" she said "then you're not producing enough milk. you need to either eat more or supplement with formula"
been given excellent advice and crap advice from mws...
instinct says this is crap as we change more nappies per day than i thought possible... BUT 20-25ml (1 oz) of milk per expressing session really isn't a lot...

[Thomcat]

at your midwife and for you.

Have you tried the rugby ball position to feed him? You hold his body under your arm, literally under your armpit like a rugby ball? Lay him on a cushion and move the cusion around to get him in the riht position. Then make sure you sit back wth lots of cushions supporting you too. I had terrible back pain for a while when I was establishing BF.

What you have to keep saying it that establishing BF can be so, so hard, but suddenly it'll all just kick in and it'll be so easy and you won't be able to remember this difficult phase.

Have you tried lying down on your bed and feeding him?

And if you really think your supply is o low side at moment then maybe try drinking fennel tea.

You're doing great. It is / can be hard (was for me too)but it will get better.

Tc x

[FaintlyMacabre]

Rubbish advice from midwife, what you can express is no guide whatsoever to how much your baby is getting. Eating more or supplementing with formula will improve milk supply anyway -in fact giving formula will make it worse.
I managed to express a measly oz on the few occasions I tried before deciding that expressing was too much faff. Despite this my baby managed fine on breastmilk alone until 25 weeks.

[FaintlyMacabre]

Sorry -won't increase supply

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

that's bollocks! if baby is gaining weight and doing lot of wees he's getting enough milk! i've learnt that on here. also i can't express to save my life - means nothing. don't sdtart topping up if you don't have to it's so hard to stop!

[star6]

so eating more wont increase supply? I was horrified by this as i'm a very healthy eater... and do take in more but its all whole wheat bread fruit or veg.... she said cakes and fatty foods would help. I DO enjoy green and black's dark chocolate, though. she was a bit odd...

[star6]

oh!!! and she said, 'your baby is so small... did you know about this problem at antenatal checks?'.... well, yes i always measured small but now hes here, don't see it as a problem!