breastfeeding for a week now... not sure how much more I can take

[star6]

Hi there,
I was advised by the lovely ladies on my october antenatal thread to post here. They have been incredibly helpful and supportive, so I have not given up just yet. DS typically feeds for 30-45 minutes on one side. It's incredibly draining. The latch is not perfect. In fact it's horrible. I wince in pain when he latches on. I follow all of the advice from the bf counsellor, midwives and websites but he just refuses to take it unless it's that same painful latch!! have red scabbed over spots on tip of both nipples now and feeling engorged quite often.
Questions:
How long does a baby usually feed from each breast for? Do you usually offer both with each feed?

Is there any way to get him to latch better? He seems just so stubborn with it...

It's day 9 now and the sides of my breasts (the outer part) is very sore to the touch (not red or anything, just sore). Is that normal?

I'm hand expressing a bit when they become engorged and even pumping with electric pump while he feeds on the other side to relieve it sometimes... any other ways to treat engorgement?

When I lay down to try to sleep my whole body feels like one big headache, especially my legs, everything throbbing (maybe I'm just overdoing it with housework?) How dangerous IS it REALLY to take more than 8 paracetmol within a 24 hour period?

Sorry for the essay... I'm a bit of a mess. Really weepy and difficulty controlling emotions as well.

[PortAndDemon]

Only just seen this thread and see you've already had advice and things are improving -- just wanted to say a big congratulations. Sorry you've had such a rough time.

[star6]

ok he latches on well most of the time... not a great latch but he gets the milk anyway. But just now took us 30 min to latch on! this happens about twice a day now. at a loss for what to do!

[welliemum]

Wow, star, you're doing so well!

Can you get the bf counsellor to look at your latch again? I found with mine that I had to be quite vigilant because the latch changed as they grew and I got into bad habits a couple of times and had to go back to basics again.

Re: expressing - I'm no help at all, am the world's most rubbish expresser. I just wanted to point out that I can barely express a drop, yet I was exclusively bf both dd1 and dd2 at 6 months, so obviously there was plenty of milk there - I just couldn't pump it out.

How long before you go to work by the way? Do you really really need to be worrying about this so soon? It might be that all you need to do is leave the expressing for now and try again a bit later when you've got bf well established. I'm sure tiktok and others can advise you about this.

[star6]

I have to go back to work first week in december.... i know but i'm a teacher and my best friend (whose kids go to my school - it's private, international school, so 6 wks 90% pay o then smp. im taking 8 wks just because dh just career changed to teaching as well and cant afford for me take more time off with mortgage....etc). anyway, can feed in morning until 8am and will see him again 3.45pm and most days she will bring him to me for lunchtime feed... but not everyday.
it's not like i'm in the city at 6am and back in the eve.... it's 8am-3.45pm and two weeks after im back, we have two weeks holiday. sorry bit of a self justification here because everyone always makes me feel awful for this (not on mn!).
so i need to start freezing some milk soon

[star6]

sorry missed some words there.. my best friend will be looking after him while im at school.

[welliemum]

Phew, it sounds hectic, poor you! But the hours don't look too bad from the bf point of view, and then as you say you'll have a bit of holiday.

Can you organise for a lunchtime feed every day at first? That would take pressure off the expressing.

Now, you need to talk to a non-rubbish expresser , but there are plenty of expert ones around here and they can give you some tips I'm sure. What pump are you using? There are lots of different ones and maybe the one you have isn't right for you, so that might be something to ask about.

Chin up, I'm sure it's do-able

[star6]

thanks
I have Avent ISIS IQ electric pump and the manual one by avent as well. with electric I can get about 20-25ml/1 oz in 10 minutes from an engorged breast, but if breast isnt over full sometimes i get a few drops.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

star - I was always a rubbish expresser too, but could def get more in the mornings, expressing from one side whilst feeding from the other.

[DeeInMalaysia]

First of all: you are doing really well by wanting the best for your baby and trying.
To me it sounds like mastitis. With ds2 I got mastitis several times because he didn't latch on proparly. I persevered because I was determined to breastfeed. It only got worse and it turned out that I got 5 absceses (?) in my left breast that I had to get drained. Then the doctor gave me milktablets to actually stop me developing any more milk (made me very sick) because if I carried on bf'ing i would need surgery.
Basically: get advice early on and don't leave it too late!
Also: if it doesn't work for you don't feel guilty. At the end I didn't even want my baby near me because I was afraid he would want to feed and it hurt so much. It's more important to have a nice bond with your baby rather than 'resent' them for hurting you.

[star6]

Thanks so much. I am seeing someone today about the lumps. csws i've been trying that out - expressing one side, feeding on other in the morning.... feel like a cow but it does work
Went to baby cafe yesterday and counselor there said latch looks beautiful... they all say that now but then why does it hurt so much? and when he comes off nipple is always mis shaped and often a bit flat.

[Dalrymps]

If the nipple is mis shaped it's not far enough back in babies mouth. The people that commented on the latch can't possibly tell if it's ok just by looking at baby feeding. How it feels to you is the important bit. When the nipple is far enough back in babies mouth it rests against the soft palate instead of rubbing against the hard roof of the mouth and therefore doesn't hurt. Have you seen an actual breast feeding counsellor/lactation consultant? Think this would help.

You're doing so so well, keep asking for help if you're having any problem at all!

[welliemum]

This happened to me with dd1. It really really hurt, lots of bleeding too, but I got everyone I could think of to look at the latch and they all said it looked OK. A mystery!

What helped was trying out different positions - for me the rugby hold was good (where the baby is sort of under your arm and feeding from that side) - but also swapping around meant that dd1 wasn't attacking the same bit of nork each time.

Sympathies!

[star6]

Thanks
changing positions is helping a lot because that way he's not chewing on same part all the time. thanks!
He's been feeding ALL DAY today.... i'm not even kidding! we couldnt leave the house at all .... he's feeding now. he dozes a bit at breast but wakes because of wind or really struggling hard to poo. poor thing. i wonder if my milk is making him constipated? very little, green sticky poo and 17 days old. he used to have yellow runny poo. he's struggling so hard to get it out... makes him cry. he doesnt otherwise cry at all unless hungry.
all this practice today has improved latch, though

[star6]

tiktok?
alexa808 on my october 2008 postnatal thread is in need of advice - she's concerned she;s not making enough milk for her baby.
Here's her message (cut and pasted)

from alexa
"My dd has been on total breastfeeding but for the last 4 days it seems that I haven't got enough milk. She whines and cries even after spending over an hour on both breasts. If I top it up with formula there's radio silence and she goes to sleep straightaway.

She's deffo crying because she's hungry. The formula helps. I'm just so gutted that I have too little mlk. Is there anything I can do to get more milk?

Thanks so much! Any other wise MNs are welcome to advise."

[tiktok]

star, suggest she posts in this folder with a new thread

[HolidaysQueen]

Star - I see you have great advice from people on bf (if not from your midwife ) and it sounds like you are doing really well. So I won't comment on that. However, like you I was very anaemic (HB of 7ish) and I was physically shattered in the first few weeks, over and above the night wakening thing. The things I did were:

1. lots and lots of spatone drunk with orange juice plus iron tablets from mw
   
2. lots of lying in bed feeding the baby, and sending DH out for short walks with DS so I could just sit and rest
   
3. no housework!
   
4. a daily walk for fresh air but not very far
   
5. baths rather than showers so I could sit and rest for a while
   
   However the most important by far was a really really good diet. DH is a great cook so I was lucky, but you should definitely make sure you are eating 3 good meals a day and snacks, and get your Dh to sort these out in the morning for you before he goes to work if necessary. A good diet is necessary for BF even without anaemia - it's doubly so when you have anaemia as well so you really really need to focus on eating well. We had red meat every day, plus lots of healthy veg. If your DH isn't a great cook, then is there anyone who could make you some casseroles etc. for the freezer that you can then just microwave for your lunch/tea? I found things like those packs of tortelloni were great for lunch when I was on my own as they are done in 2 mins, and I also had lots of homemade, cartons and tins of soup that I could quickly heat up. Oat cakesd with cheese (the soft and blue stuff that I couldn't have when pg!) were good snack. My HV won brownie points when she told me that I should eat lots of chocolate because that had some iron in it
   
   Take care of yourself, and congratulations on the birth of your DS and on doing so well with bf

[star6]

got antibiotics today.... temperature high achy and headache and a warm lump in right breast... very very painful!!
looking longingly at formula... please someone convince me not to!

[lollyheart]

Star i have been reading your thread
I have had lots of bf problems, it took my ds 4 weeks latch on. we are still having a few problems now mainly to do with my milk supply.

i just want to say i have had mastitis so i know how painfull it is, i stopped feeding ds as it was so painfull and gave him formula, i wish i carried on feeding and put up with the pain as my supply was really affected it will only last a day or 2.

Step away from the formula

[star6]

thank you lollyheart just feeling so ill and weak. he's bf now on my cracked nipples and dozing at the breast quite a bit. want him to just feed and get it over with!
have chills and dh is sweating!

[tiktok]

Mastitis can be v.v. painful...but stopping bf is not a safe option with it, because stopping bf makes the infection worse...you can end up with an abscess which may need hospital treatment

[star6]

Thanks tiktok im bfing right now and it hurts more than i can explain. despite taking antibiotics and paracetomol, temp hasrisen slightly and feeling increasingly weaker andmore achy. shamelessly pleaded with dh to stay home tomorrow but he cant

[tiktok]

star, my understanding is you should be feeling a bit better now - a/bs should have kicked in, I think. Stay in touch with your doc.

[star6]

I amfeeling better this morning. Thank you! DSslept in 3-4 hour chunks, too! A good night's sleep always helps.

[BadgerQueen]

Hi,
Star - joining this very late and have only scanned the many posts for you, but just wanted to say you are doing so well and hope you are taking strength from advice on MN. I was in exactly the same position in May (thought my boobs would explode and my nipples were going to drop off) but DD2 doing so well now. Here's my four penneth - its porb all been said, but I really feel for you.

1. Feeding quietly, undisturbed in bed was the only thing that worked for us - me with legs up and propped with lots of pillows
2. Remember you are both learning and try (this is so hard when it hurts so much you think you will faint)not to tense up your back and shoulders or grind you teeth - I did this without realising and it makes your whole body hurt
3. Lots of chocolate and lansinoh (where aprropriate!)
4. Don't express until you are really happy with the bfing - my DD1 observed one day when I was expressing"Ooh mummy you are making pink milk!" - it was blood from my ravaged nipples! So we stopped.
5. Look after yourself eat, rest and give up on the housework.

Hope "down there" is feeling better - I had terribly sore bum and bits - lots of hot baths helped. Oh 5 used those cold pack things for kids (Mr Bump gel pack - down the bra really helped!) for my sore boobs

It will get better and you are a star!

[star6]

it has been ds screaming every time he has to latch on and takes at least 20 min despite efforts to relax. soooooooo frustrating!!!